Secret Jokes

195 secret jokes and hilarious secret puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about secret that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the funny world of secret jokes. From secret agents to secret admirers, find out how to get a chuckle out of secrecy. Learn about the best secret santa gifts, the comical effects of covert communications, and the amusing power of oatmeal.

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Funniest Secret Short Jokes

Short secret jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The secret humour may include short hidden jokes also.

  1. If you take the first two letters of the title of each the 7 harry potter books, it spells out a secret message HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  2. The Indian restaurant I work for is so secretive I had to sign a legal agreement that I wouldn't share the flatbread recipe Just their standard naan disclosure agreement.
  3. I think my girlfriend's a secret drug dealer I just answered her phone, and this man said "is that dope still there?"
  4. Someone got 25 years in prison for saying Putin was an idiot 5 years for insulting the leader and 20 years for revealing state secrets.
  5. Valentine's.... For the past 10 years I've been getting valentine's card from a secret admirer, so I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year.
    First my gran dies, now this!
  6. Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
  7. Every year for Valentine's Day I used to always get a card from a secret admirer. This is the first year where I haven't received anything. First my granny dies, now this?
  8. After years of marriage, I've finally learned the ultimate secret to keep a woman satisfied in bed... Let her keep sleeping.
  9. I asked my grandpa.. I asked my grandpa: After 65 years you still call grandma darling, beautiful and honey. What's the secret?
    Grandpa: I forgot her name 5 years ago and I'm scared to ask her.
  10. Victoria's Secret has launched a revolutionary new bra, "croatia" has lot's of support but no cup

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Secret One Liners

Which secret one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with secret? I can suggest the ones about security and hide.

  1. So many homophobes turn out to be secretly gay I'm worried I'm secretly a giant spider.
  2. What do you call colorful secret police? The RGB
  3. I got banned from the secret cooking society… For spilling the beans.
  4. I bought a trash compactor for my ex-wife Or, as Victoria Secret calls it - a corset
  5. How do you get a secret message out of a cemetery? You decrypt it.
  6. I just found my friend has a secret life as a priest It's his altar ego
  7. Which spice is the worst at keeping secrets? Only thyme will tell.
  8. I just found out that my friend has a secret life as a priest. It's his altar ego.
  9. Well I've heard there was a secret chord That David played and it pleased the Lord. Gsus
  10. Never share a secret with a clock. Time will tell.
  11. You can tell a lot about a person.. by not keeping their secrets.
  12. What is Russia's most secretive insect? Cagey Bee.
  13. I'm about to reveal a secret to being an excellent guitar player Stay tuned
  14. My job is top secret Even i dont know what im doing
  15. Want to know the secret to killing two birds with one stone? Throw it twice.

Secret Service Jokes

Here is a list of funny secret service jokes and even better secret service puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I once asked my 97 year old grandfather what his secret was to such a long life. He said, "I'm just waiting until I can afford a burial service."
  • Trump's Secret Service is going to have a problem If someone shoots at him, they will yell "Donald Duck, Donald Duck"
  • whats the secret service of Australia called? M8
  • At a rally today Donald Trump ordered the secret service to remove a crying baby. They had him halfway to the curb before realizing the error.
  • What do you call the Mexican secret service? FB ay ayay ay
  • What's the difference between the Secret Service and the Postal Service? One protects your secrets and one goes through your mail, and you'll *never* guess which is which.
  • One of the Secret Service agents was tempted by the delicious muffin on the president's office desk, as he slowly reached out to take a bite, the other agent stopped him and said: "Its FOR-BIDEN!"
  • What language did the Viking secret service use to communicate in secret? Norse code.
  • Abraham Lincoln went to see a play without bringing the Secret Service He never heard the end of it
  • Due to recent events, James Bond no longer works for her majesty's secret service.

Victoria's Secret Jokes

Here is a list of funny victoria's secret jokes and even better victoria's secret puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is one thing a guy should never say in Victoria's Secret? Does this come in children's sizes?
  • I walked into a Victoria's Secret a man and came out a knight. From this day forward I shall be known as Sir- please leave you're being creepy.
  • When the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show comes on the TV.
    So do I.
  • Just heard that Victoria's Secret has a new bra called "Croatia". It has lot of support, but no Cup.
  • Got fired from my last job for working hard last time I work at Victoria's secret
  • I figured out what Victoria's Secret is!!!!! ..... it's foam :/
  • In Victoria Secret shop... sir can i help you?
    yes...does this come in children sizes?😐
  • Victoria's Secret? Her father never loved her.
  • Asked my grandfather if he had anything equivalent to Victoria's Secret when he was young He said "No, we had morals."
  • Why did Victoria lose her job? We don't know, it's Victoria's secret.
Secret joke, Why did Victoria lose her job?

Victoria Secret Jokes

Here is a list of funny victoria secret jokes and even better victoria secret puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A guy goes to Victoria's Secret to buy a babydoll... the cashier asks him if it is a surprise for his wife and he said... it will be if she finds out!
  • Last night was horrible, my wife suddenly died so I had to whack off to a Victoria's Secret catalog. Edit (spelling): wifi
  • So apparently i was knighted at Victoria's Secret today. . . . . Thus I shall henceforth be known as, Sir Will You Please Leave You're Being Creepy.
  • I know Victoria's secret She's hungry.
  • Kid in victoria secrets yells, "mom I'm 13 now, I want to wear a bra" Mom yells back, "shut up Ralph"
  • What do you call a man robbing a Victoria's Secret? A hardened criminal.
  • So what's up with changing rooms at Victoria's Secret? You actually telling me those are used underwear?
  • Why are singers not nervous during Victoria's Secret performances? It's easy to picture everybody with their clothes off
  • I know Victoria's Secret... She used to be Victor
  • Victoria's Secret, should have a corresponding store for men. What would you call that? I'd go with, Richard's Question.

Secret Agent Jokes

Here is a list of funny secret agent jokes and even better secret agent puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a secret agent running for the bus? A Russian spy.
  • How do you know when a hiptser is a good secret agent? You've never heard of him.
  • What kind of insects to secret agents like? (as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.
  • What do you call a secret agent from Ireland? Dublin 07
  • I met a pig that's a secret agent. His alias is Mr. Cunning Ham
  • What do you get when you cross an orthodontist and a secret agent? It's confi-dental
  • What advice did Yoda give to the Soviet secret agent? Cagey be.
  • Given how much damage Trump is doing to the environment... his secret service code name is officially "Agent Orange".
  • I guess my parents were secret agents all along. I heard they're getting a divorce because my dad got blown by the mailman.
  • Secret agent, spy, and a man in a trenchcoat enter a bar... ... barman says: "I've got a special message for the 3 of you. Everyone else leave!"
    Secret agent and spy leave the bar.

Secret Santa Jokes

Here is a list of funny secret santa jokes and even better secret santa puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • From my handwriting identification skills. I have carefully deduced that Santa is my secret Valentine every year.
  • What secret society would Santa never be a part of? The Illuminaughty
  • Why do you get the serial killer at work a cactus for Secret Santa?
  • I try to be unusually kind and compassionate to those around me during the Holidays, because I never know who will end up being my Secret Santa.
  • I organised a secret Santa at work I put my name on 10 pieces of paper and everybody picked one. Can't wait till Monday!
  • My family are very competitive In our secret Santa, winner takes all.
Secret joke, My family are very competitive

Howlingly Hilarious Secret Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about secret you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean secure jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make secret pranks.

Jeff Bezos: "Alexa, send n**... to my secret admirer."

Alexa: "Got it. Sending n**... to the National Enquirer."

The usher in church greets one of their members...

and says "Welcome! You need to join the army of the Lord!"
The member says,"I am in the Lord's army".
The usher asked,"Then why do I only see you on Christmas and Easter?"
The member leaned over and whispered,"I'm in the Secret Service."

The Secret of the Red Shirt

Once upon a time there was a pirate captain. He ran a very successful ship, and rarely lost any battles. He took a boy under him to teach him the trade.
One day, the lookout shouted, "Marine ship to the starboard, bearing down upon us!". The captain immediately shouted to the boy, "Boy, bring me my red shirt!". The ship was boarded, but the captain rallied the pirates and defeated the marines.
Every time a marine ship attacked them, the captain would give the same order to the boy, "Boy, bring me my red shirt!". And they always won. So, one day the boy asked the captain, "What is the secret of the red shirt?". The captain replied, "The secret is that, if I'm injured in the battle, the crew won't see blood and will not falter." The boy was amazed and grew proud about his captain.
Then one day, the came upon an entire fleet of marine ships. Hundreds upon hundreds of marine ships bore down upon them. The boy came running to the captain with the red shirt. The captain shook his head and said, "Bring me my brown pants."

THE 5 Secrets to a perfect marriage

1. Have a wife who is a great Cook
2. Have a wife who is great at cleaning
3. Have a wife who is a monster in bed
4. Have a wife who is great with your kids.
5. Make sure those 4 women NEVER MEET.

A man was asked for his secret to a long lasting marriage...

**"Well, i took my wife to Italy on our honeymoon."** *"so what are you guys doing for your 20th wedding anniversary?"*
**"Im going back to get her."**

Two secrets everyone needs to know for a successful life:

1. Never share everything you know.

Best Read with a German Accent (Warning: Holocaust Joke)

One day during the war, h**... gathered his top advisers to hold a top secret meeting. He said "Ok, tomorrow ve vill kill 1,000 Jews and three hamsters". His advisors looked at one another, and one said, "But h**..., vhy ze three hamsters". h**... smiled at his advisers and replied, "You see, no one cares about ze jews!"

Scientists and spiders.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let everyone know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.
At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.
'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'
The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.
'Spider, walk left'
The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.
'Spider, move right.'
The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.
The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.
'Move left'
The spider didn't move.
'Move right'
Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.
'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'

The secret to wealth

A young man once asked a rich older man how he made all his money.
The dapper old fellow smoothed his tailored jacket and said, "Well young man, it was 1932, in the depths of the Great Depression. I was down to the last penny I had."
"I took that penny and I went and bought an apple. I spent the whole day shining that apple until it gleamed like the sun, then I took that apple to the market and sold it for two cents."
"The next day I took those two cents and bought two apples. I shined those apples all day and night until they were perfect, then I sold them at the market for four cents the next day. I worked at it like this for a month, sometimes selling, sometimes not, and at the end of the month I'd amassed myself a fortune. Nearly eight whole dollars. I'd never been so proud of myself in my life."
"Then my wife's father died and left us 2 million bucks."

Five secrets of a perfect Relationship

1. It`s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans and has a job.
2. It`s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It`s important to have a woman you can trust and who would never lie.
4. It`s important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you.
5. It`s absolutely important that these four women never meet.

Fishing secret

A guy is out ice fishing and he hasn't had a bite in hours, but the fellow next to him is pulling in fish after fish. Exasperated, the man finally approached the successful fisherman to find his secret.
"What's your secret buddy, I mean you've been pulling in fish left and right all day long."
"Ooo gahh takee darmns orm" the guy says.
"Ooo gahh takee darmns orm"
"I'm sorry, I just can't understand you."
"Oh...," he says and spits something in his hand.
"You've got to keep the worms warm."

Secrets to a happy marriage

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have s**....
and MOST important...
4. It is important that these three women never meet.

Have you guys heard the secret about butter?

I don't want to tell you because you might spread it around...
What concert is cheaper than 50 cents to attend?
50 Cent feat. Nickelback

An old cowboy told his grandson...

An old cowboy told his grandson "The secret to a long, healthy life is to put a pinch of gunpowder in your oatmeal every morning." The grandson took this advice to heart, and everyday for the rest of his life put a pinch of gunpowder in his oatmeal every morning. When he died at the age of 132 he left behind 5 children, 12 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren, 78 great great grandchildren, and a 50 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

Kennedy's USSR joke

A man runs into the the Kremlin yelling, "the Premiere is an idiot the Premiere is an idiot".
The man was immidetaly arrested by the KGB and sentenced to 23 years in prison.
3 years for insulting a high ranking member of the party and 20 years for divulging a state secret.


A couple were married for 25yrs. One day while cleaning their room, she finds a box hidden inside his closet and decides to open it with the thought that her husband is keeping a secret to her. In the box she finds 3 eggs and 10 grand.
This seems very strange so she went to him and asks:
"Why are there 3 eggs in a box in your closet?"
"Well, dear," the husband replies, "everytime I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the box."
She's hurt that he had been unfaithful but consoles herself with the fact that they have been married for 25yrs and he had only been unfaithful 3 times.
Wife asks: "Where did the 10 grand come from?"
With head bowed down he answers: "Everytime it reaches a dozen, I sell them!"

The secret to a long life

A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning.
The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

I know the secret to leaving a casino with a small fortune

Walk in with a big fortune.
Happy new year

Can secretaries really write memos with both their left and right hands at the same time?

Or is that just stereotyping.

A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.

Son told his dad he loves the girl next door

"Son, you can't love her. She's my secret daughter with another wife."
"But dad, what about the other girl next next door?"
"Sorry, son. She's also my secret daughter with the other wife."
Son walks away with tears in his eyes after knowing the truth. Mom heard it all and approaches to him
"Honey, you can love the girls next door if you want to. You're not your dad's son anyway."

A Bank Robber Forgot His Mask

A bank robber wanted to keep his identity a secret, but he forgot to bring his mask. He told everyone in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them.
One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the bank robber did what he said he would... he shot him. The robber asked the crowd if anyone else had seen his face...
One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse."

It's good that we aren't hearing about priests in the news lately.

It seems that kids these days are finally learning how to keep a secret.

How do you cure a mute coworker?

Tell them a secret

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies.
Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

My girlfriend wanted to have a talk about how childish i am

But she didn't have the secret password to my pillow fort so she couldn't get in

A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.

Secret to Long Life

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?"
"Twenty-six," he said.

An elderly man is with his wife who is on her deathbed

As she lay there, she says to her husband, "Honey, I must tell you a secret before I die"
"Shh, there is nothing you need to tell me." the husband replies.
"No, I must tell you that I slept with your brother, best friend and the neighbor." the wife responds.
The husband says, "I know this. That is why I poisoned you. Now go to sleep, darling."

My secretary doesn't wear any bra or p**... to work.

But he types really well.

One day, the President finds a n**... message scribbled with pee on the snowy White House lawn.

He orders the Secret Service to investigate. They come back a few hours later with the results.
"Mr. President, we have bad news and worse news."
"What's the bad news?"
"The u**... belongs to the Vice President."
"What could possibly be worse than that?"
"The handwriting belongs to the First Lady."

A man sees a millionaire he recognizes on the street.

The man goes up to the millionaire and says, "Sir, I have been working hard for so long and I still don't have much money, will you please tell me your secret to becoming a millionaire?"
The millionaire pauses for a moment and responds, "my wife."
The man was taken aback. "What were you before you met her?"
The millionaire sadly responded, "a billionaire."

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"

Bang !

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning.
She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103, leaving behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

There are two secrets to success

1. Never tell anyone all of your secrets

New secretary

Frank and Harry have been business partners for many years. They had just employed a new secretary and Frank had taken her out.
"How was it?" inquired Harry.
"Fantastic! And i don't mind saying, that she's far better in the cot than my wife."
A couple of weeks later, Harry took the secretary out, and the following morning, he said, "You're right Frank, she is better than your wife!"

A reporter is interviewing a 110-year-old man

... And asks him his secret to longevity. "It's simple," the man replies, "I never argue with anyone, so I have no stress in my life."
The reporter laughs it off: "That's ridiculous. That can't possibly be the reason."
The man shrugs and says, "Yeah, you're probably right."

My secretary reminds me of my wife.

I was unbuttoning her blouse at lunch today when she said, "remember, you have a wife."

I asked an old man..

One day I asked an old man, "Even after 95 years, you still call your wife 'Darling', 'Honey', 'Love'. What's your secret?"
The old man replied "I forgot her name 10 years ago and I'm scared to ask her"

I really like oxymorons. Phrases like jumbo shrimp, organized chaos, open secret

Or United States of America.

Well, I know it's childish, but me and my girlfriend have just had a great time having a pillow fight and I won!

The secret is to stuff a few bricks in there..

Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated.

Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, "Mom, I know everything." Mom shushes him and gives him $10.
"Just don't tell Dad" she says.
*Hey, it's working* thinks Little Johnny.
An hour later, Dad comes home from work. Johnny goes up to him and says: "Dad, I know everything."
Dad gives Johnny $100. "Don't tell Mom" he says.
Just then, the mailman knocks on the door. Johnny opens it and says. "I know everything, Mister."
The mailman drops all his mail, his eyes tear up and he says:
"Well then Johnny, come give Daddy a hug."

Every cook has a secret

The Admiral was visiting one of his ships. When having tea he noticed that every biscuit has the ship's insignia embossed on it.
He is impressed and calls the cook to ask him how he does this.
Cook: When rolling the biscuits I slap each one onto my belt buckle before putting them in the oven.
Admiral: That's pretty unhygienic.
Cook: In that case sir, I'd suggest you skip the doughnuts.

There are two secrets to success.

1. Never tell anyone everything you know.

Britain's oldest woman turned 114 today

When asked the secret of her longevity, she attributed it to taking a walk at midnight every night. When quizzed on whether she was concerned about the increase in muggings in recent years, she said that she was not, and would continue mugging people as long as her health holds out.

A secret service agent, nervous on his first day, sees Donald, Melania, and Barron Trump walking through the Whitehouse.

The new agent asks his supervisor, "Wow, is that really the First family?"
The supervisor, unfazed, replies, No, I think this is at least the third for Mr. Trump."

A 106-year-old cowboy in Texas recently passed away.

He was asked on his last birthday earlier this year his secret to longevity.
He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning.
He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the crematorium.

In one Intensive care unit

people always died on the same bed at 11 am on a Sunday morning, regardless of their condition. This puzzled medical staff, so a group of doctors decided to observe the bed in secret and waited for the fateful hour. Some held crosses and prayer books to ward off evil influences, while the less superstitious had video cameras to catch the whole thing on tape. At the 11th hour, the door to the ward slowly opened, then a cleaner came in, disconnected the life support machine and plugged in a vacuum cleaner.

I whispered to my kids, "Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?"

They all looked at me blankly, so I replied, "I didn't think so, it's on a knead to dough basis."

why can't a bank keep a secret?

because there are too many tellers.

When I was younger I used to sell home security alarms door to door.

I was always selling the most security alarms out of anyone else I worked with. "What's your secret?". If I went to call on a house and nobody was home, then I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.

This is top secret...

This is bottom secret...

This is the first time I didn't get a Valentine's day card from my secret admirer in 20 years;

First my grandma died and now this;

They all laughed when I told them that one day I'd discover the secret to invisibility

If only they could see me now

The secret to Pavlov's hair?

Just a classical conditioner.
(I hope the name rings a bell)

This guy came up to me in the gym.

He said, hey...what's your secret?
I said, I p**... with the door open

How to Live a Long Life

A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.

When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

A wife tells her husband that she's discovered his secret f**... via his search history...

"It was a weird one for sure," she says, "but I think I can make it work without being too embarrassed, as long as you don't film it." He accepts.
Later that night, he asks her if she wants to try it. She smiles, begins to undress, and goes "SKIPPITY BEE BOP BEE BOP DUP-A DUAAA"

I got asked out by SO many ladies today. My secret?

I was in the ladies restroom.

Obama was running with a secret service member...

And he was trying to break the record on running 4 laps around the White House lawn. When he finished the Secret Service agent said We'll done sir, your time is 9:22, one of the best times we've had.
Obama then replied, One of the best? Not the best?
The agent replied No sir, Bush did 9:11

Don't tell secrets in the garden:

The potatoes have eyes
The corn has ears
And the beanstalk.

If anyone ever figured out my secret 4-digit code, I'd be s**...! They'd have my bank pin #, phone unlock code, front door lock code...

...they'd even know my birth year!

Don't tell anyone this

This is Top Secret
This is Bottom Secret (Don't tell anyone this either)

Trump was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President s**...."

Infuriated, Trump called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.
"The bad news is that the u**... is from Putin."
"Vlad? How could he do this to me? What could be worse than this?"
"The handwriting's is Melania's."

The secret to having a smoking hot body in old age?


One boy tell the other: "There is an easy way to get what you want"

The other boy said, "How?"
"Tell people you know their secret"
The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!"
The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10"
The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!"
The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15"
The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!"
The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come, give your dad a hug!"

100 year old on local TV

"So what's your secret, Sir?"
"I once s**... a guy for $ 20"
"No - to your longevity!"
"Oh, fruits and vegetables"

An old man was asked What's your secret that, even after 60 years of marriage, you still manage to call your wife my love, honey, sweetheart?

He said Well, I've forgotten her name long ago and I'm embarrassed to ask

Secret joke, An old man was asked  What's your secret that, even after 60 years of marriage, you still manage to

jokes about secret