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Secondhand Jokes

37 secondhand jokes and hilarious secondhand puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about secondhand that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Secondhand Short Jokes

Short secondhand jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The secondhand humour may include short recycled jokes also.

  1. So I bought a memory foam pillow second-hand Got it for a good price, all was good until I laid down and it said "who the f@#k are you?"
  2. Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second-hand shop.
    I'll show myself out.
  3. So few people today disassemble their watches, take away the hand showing seconds and sell it to other people the second-hand second hand market is minute.
  4. I ordered a second-hand deck of cards from a casino. After four weeks they still hadn't been delivered so I rang them up to see what was going on.
    They told me they were still dealing with my order.
  5. I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir.
  6. Crossing the street Q: Why did the one-handed man cross the street?
    A: To get to the second-hand store.
  7. My old clock broke last week. Thankfully I was able to find the part I needed at a second-hand store.
  8. A man sold me a clock without the minute and hour hands He said he clearly wrote that it was a second-hand clock.
  9. What does a frugal knitter have in common with a drug addict? They don't mind using a secondhand needle
  10. My girlfriend and I stole some henry viii posters from a second-hand shop. It was a great free-king time.

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Secondhand One Liners

Which secondhand one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with secondhand? I can suggest the ones about used car and worn.

  1. Where did Captain Hook get his hook ? The second-hand store.
  2. An amputee found a cheap artificial arm for sale on Amazon... It was secondhand.
  3. Where did Captain Hook buy his hook? From a second-hand store
  4. Where do pirates get their hooks? At the second-hand store!
  5. There was a fire yesterday at my local thrift store A person died of secondhand smoke
  6. There was a fire at the Goodwill yesterday A person died of second-hand smoke
  7. Where do amputees get prosthetics on a budget? The Secondhand store.
  8. Second-hand parachute for sale Only used once, never opened.
  9. I found a cheap prosthetic arm on Craigslist Secondhand
  10. Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the secondhand shop
  11. What does a pirate get when he walks into a second-hand shop? Disappointed.
  12. Can anyone recommend a second-hand store? I need a new one for my watch.
  13. Where was the one-handed man going? To the second-hand store.
  14. I repaired my watch with some old parts. It's got a second-hand second hand.
  15. Why can you never trust second-hand Toyota dealers? They've got previas.

Secondhand joke, Why can you never trust second-hand Toyota dealers?

Ridiculous Secondhand Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about secondhand you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean handmade jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make secondhand pranks.

What do you call a second-hand p**...?

An after-thot.

I ordered a second-hand deck of cards from a casino, but after four weeks, they still hadn't been delivered, so I called them up to see what was going on...

They told me they were still dealing with my order...

An old Joke by Lee Mack on... 8 out of 10 Cats plays Countdown, I believe?

I popped into an second-hand store the other day and bought a pencil. What's remarkable about the pencil, is that it used to be used by Shakespeare!

...Only thing is, the top part is all chewed up, so I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

Secondhand joke, An old Joke by Lee Mack on... 8 out of 10 Cats plays Countdown, I believe?