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Seating Jokes

26 seating jokes and hilarious seating puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seating that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Seating Short Jokes

Short seating jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seating humour may include short seated jokes also.

  1. When you live alone, the only thing that wakes you up faster than a cold toilet seat Is a warm toilet seat
  2. Today I gave my seat to a blind lady on the bus, That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
  3. My kid says he came up with this one: A guy goes to interview for IKEA... The manager says Welcome! Come in and make a seat.
  4. The First Rule of Fight Club... ... Is to not talk about fight club.
    The second rule of fight club...
    Please keep your seat belt on at all times when the light is on.
  5. I did an ancestry.com family history today and found out that my great grandfather helped rosa Parks initiate the civil rights movement He was the guy who said, "Get up, that's my seat."
  6. Unrestrained children in the back seat can cause accidents. Unrestrained accidents in the back seat can cause children.
  7. Today I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind person. I was also fired from my job as a bus driver, no justice for the kind hearted in this world.
  8. An very attractive woman took a seat next to me at a bar last night. And brought it to a table of friends.
  9. What happened with the wooden car with wooden wheel, wooden seats, and a wooden engine? It wooden go.
  10. I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sat next to a screaming baby. Apparently that's not allowed if the baby is yours.

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Seating One Liners

Which seating one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seating? I can suggest the ones about empty seats and driving seat.

  1. The 10th Fast and Furious film should be called.... fast 10 Your Seat Belt.
  2. I've always stood up for black people... It's not worth getting stabbed over a seat
  3. I just booked some cheap seats from United. They were in the nosebleed section.
  4. I gave up my seat to a blind guy on the bus. I lost my job.
  5. How did the love seat get pregnant? Because the couch didn't pull out.
  6. Why did Paul Walker cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing a seat belt.
  7. What's the best thing about going to Auschwitz? Plenty of seats on the train ride home.
  8. My balloon elephant wouldn't fit in the back seat of my car so... I had to pop the trunk.
  9. Wearing a seat belt Men: /
    Women: %
  10. Why does Yoda have the best seat on the Jedi Council? He gets a seat next to a Windu.
  11. Anyone want 2 free tickets to a fight? I've got seats 29A & B on United flight 1807.
  12. What's the best thing to do when someone close to you dies? Move seats.
  13. What's comforting and scary at the same time? A warm toilet seat.
  14. Why are stadiums so cool? Because every seat has a fan on it
  15. Someone stole all the toilet seats at the station! Authorities have nothing to go on.

Seating joke, Someone stole all the toilet seats at the station!

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about seating can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of seating puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Seating Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about seating you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean passenger seat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make seating prank.

Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What the h**... was wrong with you?

Driver:I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.
Judge: Hit the 2 men of course!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran inside the restaurant so l followed him.

I want a gun that shoots wooden benches.

I'd walk into a church with no seating and be like: *pew pew pew. pew pew. pew pew pew*

Just came up with this, as far as I know

A man walks into a gastroenterologist's office and stops to stand just at the edge of the seating area. The receptionist waits for him to approach but he fidgets uncomfortably, staring at the wooden seats between himself and the counter. Sir, why don't you come over here so we can get you checked in? says the receptionist.
That's why I'm here, he says, I have difficulty passing stools.

"Barkeep, why are there pills glued to the top of the bar seating?" "Oh, some people complained that our seats were too hard. Those are stool softeners."

"And, cushions would have r**... the loose vibes we work so hard to cultivate."

I was inquiring about seating for two at a new restaurant and they asked if I had reservations...

I said that I had some, but that I was willing to give it a try.

What sound does a gun made from church seating make?

Pew Pew..
Sorry. Just became a father 2 years ago. I have some catching up to do.

I tried to open a restaurant that offers faster seating to vegetarians...

But this created too many upset steakholders

A man walks into a gay bar...

...and it is very crowded. As he walks through the main seating area there isn't quite enough room to squeeze past one gentleman sitting down. He addresses him, "Excuse me, sir, do you mind if I push your stool in?"

Two humpback whales walk into a bar.

After seating themselves, the stunned bartender asks what they will have.
The first whale responds, Oooooooo….. Eeeeeeeee…. Oooooooooooooooooh!
The second whale says, Shut up, Frank. You're drunk.

Airline oneliners

not enough seating, prepare for a beating

My dad wanted to expand his bar to access more customers

I advised him to make it a gay bar and flip the stools upside down. that way the seating is quadrupled.

Seating joke, My dad wanted to expand his bar to access more customers

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these seating jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.