Seasonal Jokes

Funniest Seasonal Short Jokes

Short seasonal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seasonal humour may include short winter season jokes also.

1. My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she's sick of it. I'm quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.
2. As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season... I would LOVE to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.
3. Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
   Darth Vader: I felt your presents.
4. Some of us live thousands of miles away from most of our relatives and can't be with them this holiday season... ... Please don't be jealous
5. What do you call a soldier that's survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran
6. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he? A seasoned veteran.
7. Why did the EA executive cross the road? Buy the DLC to find out!
   Alternate ending available if you purchase the season pass!
8. Just been talking to an old guy, ex-soldier. He explained to me he had been exposed to mustard gas and pepper spray, it was nice chatting to a seasoned veteran.
9. Garlic powder $5.99. steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99. Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless
10. How many game of thrones seasons does it take to change a lightbulb? Eight, if you want to screw it completely.

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Seasonal One Liners

Which seasonal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seasonal? I can suggest the ones about four seasons and spring season.

1. I knew a guy who survived mustard gas and pepper spray He is now a seasoned veteran
2. How do you survive a fall without a parachute? Just like any other season
3. There are only two seasons in Russia: Winter and nuclear winter.
4. Did you hear about the soldier that got pepper sprayed? He's a seasoned veteran now.
5. What do you call an Army Commander who is covered in pepper? A seasoned veteran
6. How does Jimmy season his world before eating it? It just takes some thyme
7. People say I don't have friends They're wrong.
   I have 10 seasons on DVD
8. Why did the winter solstice go to therapy? It had a case of seasonal dis-order.
9. What is a mattress' favorite season? Spring.
10. What did the soldier use to season his fries? A salt rifle.
11. Why did the solstice get a job as an acrobat? It wanted to "flip" the season.
12. My dad is a rugged ex-Marine with a salt-and-pepper beard... He's a seasoned veteran.
13. Why is it always so sunny in Firefly and Serenity? Because they only have one season.
14. So excited for the season finale of America I hope there's another season though...
15. What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use? A salt rifle.

Seasonal Depression Jokes

Here is a list of funny seasonal depression jokes and even better seasonal depression puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My wife's cooking is pretty good, but it makes me sad when she uses so much spice. I'm starting to think I have seasonal depression.
• Seasonal depression is kinda like a catholic woman giving birth... It's gonna happen whether you like it or not and once it's done you know the next one's only 9 months away.
• Depression Doctor: I think you suffer from seasonal depression.
  Patient: I think it's chronic depression.
  Doctor: why?
  Patient; because I hate my life in the summer too.
• What's the opposite of Seasonal Affective Disorder? A tropical depression.
• I have seasonal depression I'm depressed in the spring, summer, fall and winter
• Ever since Daylight Savings I'm no longer depressed... Now I'm Seasonally Depressed.
• What do private roads and people with seasonal depression have in common? Neither gets plowed in the winter.
• Which bodybuilders treat winter as their cutting season? The bodybuilders who have seasonal depression
• I Always Look Forward To Seasonal Depression
• What's the best way to cure seasonal depression? s**....
  -A bit of black humor for black friday

Seasonal Allergy Jokes

Here is a list of funny seasonal allergy jokes and even better seasonal allergy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• It's allergy season upon us, so remember to say "pika" before you sneeze and if you forget, just say "bacca" after!
• It's allergy season. If my nose keeps running, I'm going to have to buy it new shoes.
• Conor McGregor doesn't have seasonal allergies. He just can't handle the Mayweather.
• Priests must be super busy during allergy season. "Bless me Father for I have sneezed"
• A woman is like a delicate, Spring flower... ...I have really bad seasonal allergies, so I just tend to get my fix by looking at pictures of them online.
• Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall.
  This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
• My friend was complaining that he had a cold during allergy season. I said, bet it snot.
• What do you call allergy season without any Kleenexes? A tissue

Gather Around for Heartwarming Seasonal Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about seasonal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fall season jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make seasonal pranks.