Season Jokes

174 season jokes and hilarious season puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about season that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for something to spice up your conversations during any season of the year? Check out this list of season jokes that range from the four seasons, tax season, spooky season, holiday season, and WNBA season! Laugh along with these undefeated jokes that bring the fun to any situation.

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Funniest Season Short Jokes

Short season jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The season humour may include short winter jokes also.

  1. My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she's sick of it. I'm quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.
  2. As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season... I would LOVE to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.
  3. Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
    Darth Vader: I felt your presents.
  4. Some of us live thousands of miles away from most of our relatives and can't be with them this holiday season... ... Please don't be jealous
  5. What do you call a soldier that's survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran
  6. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he? A seasoned veteran.
  7. Why did the EA executive cross the road? Buy the DLC to find out!
    Alternate ending available if you purchase the season pass!
  8. Just been talking to an old guy, ex-soldier. He explained to me he had been exposed to mustard gas and pepper spray, it was nice chatting to a seasoned veteran.
  9. Garlic powder $5.99. steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99. Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless
  10. How many game of thrones seasons does it take to change a lightbulb? Eight, if you want to screw it completely.

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Season One Liners

Which season one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with season? I can suggest the ones about semester and phase.

  1. I knew a guy who survived mustard gas and pepper spray He is now a seasoned veteran
  2. How do you survive a fall without a parachute? Just like any other season
  3. There are only two seasons in Russia: Winter and nuclear winter.
  4. Did you hear about the soldier that got pepper sprayed? He's a seasoned veteran now.
  5. What do you call an Army Commander who is covered in pepper? A seasoned veteran
  6. How does Jimmy season his world before eating it? It just takes some thyme
  7. People say I don't have friends They're wrong.
    I have 10 seasons on DVD
  8. Why did the winter solstice go to therapy? It had a case of seasonal dis-order.
  9. What is a mattress' favorite season? Spring.
  10. What did the soldier use to season his fries? A salt rifle.
  11. Why did the solstice get a job as an acrobat? It wanted to "flip" the season.
  12. My dad is a rugged ex-Marine with a salt-and-pepper beard... He's a seasoned veteran.
  13. Why is it always so sunny in Firefly and Serenity? Because they only have one season.
  14. So excited for the season finale of America I hope there's another season though...
  15. What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use? A salt rifle.

Holiday Season Jokes

Here is a list of funny holiday season jokes and even better holiday season puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call two spices saying hello to each other during the holidays? Seasons greetings
  • I wanted to volunteer and do something good this holiday season... So I helped these dyslexic kids write letters to Satan.
  • Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season? Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children.
  • If you ever have trouble spelling the word "Christmas" this holiday season, just remember: There's Noël.
  • PSA: Police are warning against large amounts of fake $1 bills this holiday season Look out for hot singles in your area.
  • The holiday season is coming up. Every year I make my parents something. I make them disappointed.
  • What's the difference between a fedora and a fedina? "A fedina? What's a fedina?"
    "*a-Spaghetti and meatballs!*"
    Try it out. Just try it. This holiday season.
  • A sales assistant advised me on the liquor to buy for the holiday season recently She was my spirit guide.
  • In this holiday season I really gotta give a shout out to those who've always been around for me. Mr. Chen and his family at the restaurant.
  • With the Holiday Season right around the corner The Transvestites of America Union would like to remind you to eat, drink, and be Mary.

Winter Season Jokes

Here is a list of funny winter season jokes and even better winter season puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Winter is like the Justin Bieber of seasons... It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out, now its a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada.
  • Why did the snowman apply for a job on the winter solstice? It wanted to work during its peak season.
  • Minnesota has 4 seasons Almost winter, winter, almost summer, and road construction.
  • The camping shop in Stratford-upon-Avon is having a sale of last season's stock. Their slogan....? Now.. is the winter of our discount tents.
  • What are the four seasons called in New England? Almost winter, Winter, Still winter, and 3 months of bad sledding.
  • Did you hear about the Netflix series Summer to Winter? It never got a 5th season.
  • Fun fact: All of the seasons were named after coils of metal.
    Except for summer and winter. And fall.
  • What are the only two seasons in Michigan? Winter and road construction.
  • The fifth season will start in a few days Nuclear Winter
  • I lost all my winter fat thanks to this seasonal diet. Now I have spring rolls instead.
Season joke, I lost all my winter fat thanks to this seasonal diet.

Fall Season Jokes

Here is a list of funny fall season jokes and even better fall season puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What kind of car does one drive in the fall season? An autumnobile. (I made this joke when I was a kid, but it's OC, so...)
  • Why is Pride month in the summer, rather than during the autumn season? Because the Pride comes before the fall.
  • I was at the playground and fell off the swings. A nearby kid instead of helping asked, "What season is it? Fall?"
  • Seasonal Affective Disorder More like Fall Damage, mirite?
  • I'm in a gaming clan and our favorite season is Autumn We're the Fall Guys
  • If money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone's favorite season? Fall.
  • McCormick spices are at a huge risk The company has a lot of intellectual property with its CEO, if he were to say fall down the stairs and die,
    It would be a season-ending injury
  • Everyone else has 4 seasons to look forward to: Sping, Summer, Fall, & Winter We Seniors have only 1 season: Fall
  • I have seasonal depression I'm depressed in the spring, summer, fall and winter
  • What is Gamora's favorite season? Fall.

Season Fall Jokes

Here is a list of funny season fall jokes and even better season fall puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is Sherlock's favorite season? Fall...
  • For Humans, fall is a beautiful, colourful season. but plants chill just shave all the season.
  • Everyone's bummed Summer is ending, but I like the Fall! It's one of my top four favorite seasons.
  • Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall.
    This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
  • What season dose Humpty Dumpty hate the most? The Fall.
  • Which season do people get hurt the most? Fall
  • What is potential energy's favourite season? Summer, because it comes before fall
  • For the rest of the Fall season, every person named Adam should be called Odam
  • Which season is a pimps favorite? Fall, because he gets autumn h**...

Tax Season Jokes

Here is a list of funny tax season jokes and even better tax season puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why does the National Football League deserve Tax-Exempt Status even though it generated at least $9 billion in revenue last season? Because it is just as real as the other religions.
  • I'm glad that I learned about parallelograms in HS math instead of how to do my tax return. It comes in so handy during parallelogram season.
  • I'm really glad I learned geometry instead of taxes. Now that trapezoid season is coming, I'll be prepared.
  • School. I'm so glad I learned about parallelograms in school instead of how to do taxes.
    It really comes in handy every parallelogram season.
  • Tax season She said she wants me to do her like I do my taxes. I replied, sorry I'm not intuit...
  • The Queen is accused of tax fraud. Netflix cancels The Crown's new season.
Season joke, The Queen is accused of tax fraud.

Quirky and Hilarious Season Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about season you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean series jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make season pranks.

Your mama's so fat...

When she walked past the TV, I missed the first season of LOST.

What do a t**... and a redsox season ticket holder have in common?

Both have a great place to go but at a terrible time.

It's the first day for a fraternity...

It's the first day for a fraternity, and the dean is explaining the rules to the new pledges. He sternly advises them, And I must warn you of the curfew for this semester. If I catch any of you in the women's dorms past eight o'clock at night, it's fifty dollars for the first time, a hundred dollars for the second time, and five hundred dollars for the third time.
One pledge raises his hand and asks, How much for a season pass?

Deer Season

Seven guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Kevin's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Kevin's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?
Two days later the six get to the camping site only to find Kevin sitting there with his gear set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the stove.
"Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk Melissa into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair at home and Melissa came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'guess who?' I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
So, here I am.

Three men died on Christmas Eve...

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It's a candle", he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's p**....
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The p**... replied, "These are Carols".

Christmas time. v**... and wine.

Children indulging in serious crime. With dad on the w**... and mum's high on crack. Christmas is special when your family is black!

I used to play football for j**... Sandusky.

I started out as a tight end but finished the season as a wide receiver.

Did you know that, during the first game of the 1936 baseball season, the Boston Braves managed to win while also badly injuring six players on the opposing team?

They were truly ruthless.

Both Golf

"Honey, I have a confession to make," a guy told his bride. "I'm a golf nut. You'll never see me on weekends during golf season. "
"Well, dear," she murmured. "I have a confession to make too. I'm a h**.... "
"No big deal," replied the groom. "Just keep your head down and your left arm straight! "

What season is it when you are on a trampoline?

Spring time :D
I'm not funny (._.)

Que dijo la persona que estaba callendo de un edificio muy muy alto en diciembre?

Feliz gravidad!
(Translation: What did the person falling from the very very tall building in december say?
Happy Gravity!)

So to celebrate the Halloween season...

... I was going to go to a 200 year old building that was apparently set up with shriveled up old corpses, dangerous bandits, bloodsucking vampires, hellbent soulless demons, and the like. But it turns out the Capitol Building is closed for tours until a budget resolution is reached.

What's the worst part about season 1 of Lost?

The *pilot* episode.

Thought of this at work today... I was really hungry

There was a cannibal named Jake,
And eating himself, he would partake.
An hour in season,
And finally he reasoned:
He had made a giant *"Me Steak"*!

Did you hear about Nursing Home Sports League

Everyone gets atrophy at the end of the season.

Ol' Russian joke

Comrade Stalin approaches a farmer and asks :
"Comrade, how many potatoes have we grown this season?"
"Enough to reach God, comrade!" Replied the farmer.
"But there is no God" said Stalin
"Ah, said the farmer, as there are no potatoes."

I was at the football game the other day...

It was the biggest game of the season, and all the seats were taken. Because of this, my buddies had to sit further away from me
I looked over and saw the two seats to my left were empty. Curious, I asked the guy beside the empty seats if anyone was coming for them.
"My wife was supposed to come, but she passed away recently," he replied.
I apologized and offered my condolences. "And the other empty seat?" I asked him.
"My best friend was supposed to come with us," he answered. I asked him why his best friend didn't come.
The man replied, "Oh, he's at the f**...!".

It's the first day of high school...

...and the principal is giving an orientation to the freshmen class. He says "Welcome to high school! We have a few rules we must go over. First, men will use the men's locker room, and women will use the women's locker room. If anyone is caught in the other gender's locker room, it is a $20 dollar fine for a first offense, $30 for a second offense, $40 for a third, and so on. Any questions?"
A kid in the back stands up and asks "How much for a season pass?"

A penitent man decided to give up s**... for Lent...

A penitent man decided to give up s**... for the Lenten season. His wife was not informed of this situation, however. One the second night after Ash Wednesday, she showed some interest in relations. Rebuffing her advances he said, "I'm sorry, honey--I can't. It's Lent."
Angrily, she replied, "To whom and how long?"

What award did Chewbacca win his first season as a professional athlete?

Wookie of the year.

I tried "Netflix and chill?" on my wife.

We're now on season 3 of Gilmore Girls.

Why did EA Cross the road?

Buy the season pass now to find out!

Merry Christmas and Happy h**... idays to friends and oved ones c ose and far. B essings to you and yours this Yu e season.

This is my no-L greeting!

LPT: Play the Game of Thrones theme tune before you have s**... if there is a risk of being overheard.

Got me and my SO through the recent family stay overs during the festive season.

A h**... and a priest walk into a spaceship...

It lasts for 1 season and a movie and everyone throws a fit when it won't come back.

The human cannonball informs the circus manager that he plans to retire at the end of season.

The distraught manager protests "Where am I going to find another employee of your caliber?"

Value of a season ticket!

A woman was reading a newspaper one morning and said A her husband,
'Look at this, dear. There's an article here about a man who traded his wife for a season ticket to Arsenal. You wouldn't do a thing like that,-would you?'
'Of course I wouldn't!' replied her husband. 'The season's almost over!'

What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common?

Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both.

What's a hipsters favorite season?

Summer, they like it before it's cool

I just walked past White Hart Lane and found 3 Spurs season tickets nailed to a wall.

I thought of having them.
Nails always come in handy.

Weather man "it's impossible to have every season all in one week"

Mother Nature: "Hold my beer"

What do Rick and Morty season 3 and my girlfriend have in common?

They both don't exist

What did the sign say at the n**... beach during off season?

Sorry, were clothed.

Why is Ubisoft the worst gaming company in France?

Punchline only included in the season pass! Preorder now and get one of 26 randomly chosen bonus characters! 27th character included in Spanish version only.

I lost a loved one recently and while I was sad at first, I'm okay with it now...

The wiki says they get brought back next season.

It's allergy season. If my nose keeps running,

I'm going to have to buy it new shoes.

Game of Thrones is really getting out of hand...

Even websites are dying in the new season.

What did Donald Trump say on the season finale of Celebrity President?

"Nuclear missiles ... you're fired!"

Jon Snows going to feel itchy during the GOT season finale!

What else would you expect with aunts in your pants?

Last night my wife told me, "That was entertaining. I wish it was longer..."

"Now I have to wait another year until Stranger Things season 3"

Guys, please don't drink and drive this holiday season!

If you want to drive safely we can help.
Please call us. We have senior experienced people of all ages
Our volunteers will come and drink for you so you can drive safely

I couldn't figure out why the season of The Apprentice I was watching was going on for so long. Each week someone gets fired, but we never seem to get down to the final winner!

Then I realized, I was just watching CNN.

Apparently it's inappropriate for a group of white kids to put on a play of Aladdin, as it is racially insensitive and cultural appropriation. Possibly white washing.

I wonder if we'll see more Jews in Nativity Pageants come Christmas season this year.

I was hosting a f**... for my goldfish, and my friend thought it was okay to ask "What herbs should I season which fish with?"

I told him "Come on dude, there's a thyme and plaice."

It's allergy season upon us, so remember to say "pika" before you sneeze

and if you forget, just say "bacca" after!

my friend just started dating a girl called Rosemary

I don't know what he season her

Have you heard about that documentary on the American school system?

Apparently it's called "Open Season"

My brother plays soccer for a team called the Musketeers

They've started the season well with three wins and a draw, all 4-1 and one 4 all.

The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best…

Winter boasts, "Well, you can build snowmen and the snow is so beautiful!"
Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!"
Summer rays, "Yes, but I am undoubtably the overall best season! Girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that!"
Autumn ~ *-leaves-*

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students...

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing
out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and
the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking
this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this
rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will
cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
How much for a season pass?

I can't believe it's riot season already

I still have my Covid decorations up

This season of Earth is not realistic

So many plot holes. Like, where did the m**... hornets go? Why introduce them if they're not important to the story?
I'm feeling Lost.

What do the protesters season their food with?

Assault and pepper spray.

WNBA announces plan to play abbreviated 22-game season in Florida beginning in late July without fans in attendance.

Come on. Do I even have to type the punchline for this one?

I hope this virus gets cleared up before tick season...

Or else we'll have Corona with Lyme

For the 2020 NFL season, the players will no longer be allowed to keep chickens as pets.

It will be considered a personal fowl.

Quarantine is like a Netflix series

When you think it's over, another season gets released

I hope this pandemic is over before tick season starts...

Then it'll be corona and lyme.

It's flu season and I just saw 3 homeless people caring for each other.

They were giving each other flu shots under the overpass. What a caring community we live in God Bless.

Seasonal depression is kinda like a catholic woman giving birth...

It's gonna happen whether you like it or not and once it's done you know the next one's only 9 months away.

David killed a man by accident...

Yet, they still sentenced him to death. when asked what was his last wish was, he asked for a banana. the jail man said sorry, its not banana season yet . I'll wait said David.

As they say during election season in Transylvania...

Every Count Votes

Four Seasons Total Landscaping

I'm not ready to stop laughing.

Did you hear about the first female NFL referee?

She threw a flag for something that happened last season.

Guys don't turn on the news right now

There are spoilers for season 1, Handmaid's Tale

Season joke, Guys don't turn on the news right now

jokes about season