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Seaside Jokes

7 seaside jokes and hilarious seaside puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seaside that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Enjoy these silly British seaside jokes! From punny postcard greetings to jokes about seashells and cosine, these humorous bits of humor are sure to lighten up your shoreline strolls. Take a break from the beach and read these laughs!


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Hilarious Seaside Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What is a good seaside joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Obama, Putin and Merkel discuss their submarines.

All three are sitting at a resort by the seaside, and are arguing.
Obama begins by saying "American submarines are the best in the world, they can go for weeks without needing supplies!"
Putin laughs and tell them "s**... globalists. Russian submarines are best in world, they go MONTHS without refueling."
Merkel opens her mouth to speak, when a submarine rises out of the water. A man opens the hatch and shouts "Heil h**...! We need fuel!"

Man at the bus stop with a penguin

There was a policeman driving down the road and he spotted a man standing at the bus stop with a penguin.
The policeman stopped and said Excuse me sir, is this your penguin?
The man says No it's not my penguin so the policeman says Well can you take it to the zoo then.
The next day the same policeman is driving down the same road and sees the same man stood at the same bus stop with the same penguin.
He pulls over and says Oi, I thought I told you to take this penguin to the zoo!
The man says Yeah I did, but today we're going to the seaside.

Mr Sine and Miss Cosine go on their honeymoon..

Mr Sine and Miss Cosine get married and head for their honeymoon to a seaside destination. So they're chilling by the beach, and sipping on their drinks, and things get naughty soon. During a l**... session on the beach, Sine whispers into Cosine's ear, "It's a good thing I'm not on top, or we'd both be tanned".

Why is solar energy abusive on the seaside?

Because it's the sun of a beach

What do you call a seaside shanty for kids without parents?

A wharfanage

Did you hear about the bank robbery in Seaside Heights?

It was a Jersey Score!

A kindly old man is walking by the seaside when he sees three lovely young ladies crying their eyes out.

So he says, "Dear me, you poor things, so miserable on such a lovely day as this! Come and have a cup of tea and let's see if we can't make you feel better."
Won over by his twinkly-eyed charm, the three young ladies manage to dry their eyes and they follow him to a chintzy little seaside cafe where he orders a slice of Victoria sponge cake all round and a p**... of tea for four.
When the tea and cake arrives, he smiles sweetly and says, "Now, who's going to be mother?"
And all three young ladies burst into tears again.


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