Seas Jokes

81 seas jokes and hilarious seas puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seas that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Seas Short Jokes

Short seas jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seas humour may include short seals jokes also.

  1. Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Thank god I live in Canada
  2. This girl I met on Tinder had a tattoo of a seashell on her innerthigh If you put your ear against it and listened closely, you could smell the sea.
  3. My girlfriend got a tattoo of a shell on her thigh Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the sea.
  4. Dating is a lot like fishing Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But until i catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
  5. I once met a girl with a tattoo of a conch on her inner thigh When I put my ear to it I could smell the sea
  6. A guy walking to library and asks for a book on sea turtles. The librarian asks "hard back?"
    The guy replies "yeah little heads too."
  7. With relationships, they say there's plenty of fish in the sea... But I'm just stuck here holding my rod
  8. I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda. When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.
  9. When my grandfather died we scattered his remains in the sea Everyone on the beach panicked because we didn't cremate him...
  10. I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice. Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.

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Seas One Liners

Which seas one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seas? I can suggest the ones about sea life and sea animal.

  1. What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA? You get kicked out of sea world…
  2. Did you know that iceland... only one sea away from Ireland?
  3. Why does Aeriel always wear Sea Shells? Because D shell were too big
  4. Sometimes I feel like a seal is just a neutral sea lion Neutral
    As in
    Without an ion
  5. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's lost at sea? Bob.
  6. what is the difference between a seal and a sea lion? An electron.
  7. How do you turn a seal into a sea lion? Remove an electron.
  8. I dream of one day swimming in an ocean of orange carbonated water It's my Fanta sea.
  9. Why do mermaids wear sea shells? B shells aren't big enough.
  10. When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee.. ..That's a moray..
  11. How does a pirate greet a sea monster? What's Kraken?
  12. Last night I dreamed the oceans were made of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea.
  13. I used to think an ocean of soda existed. Turns out it was just Fanta sea.
  14. What do sea monsters like to eat? Fish and ships
  15. How do mermaids give birth? A sea section.

Seas joke, How do mermaids give birth?

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Seas Jokes

What funny jokes about seas you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean marine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make seas pranks.

: D

I wonder how many seasons the news has

In a far away land over the seas, there lives a tribe of 2 foot tall pygmies who live in 3 foot tall grass...

... called the Fug-ow-ees. They were named by an explorer who stumbled upon them one day in his travels and heard them say something along the lines of "we're the Fug-ow-ee."

What season is it when you are on a trampoline?

Spring time :D
I'm not funny (._.)

Que dijo la persona que estaba callendo de un edificio muy muy alto en diciembre?

Feliz gravidad!
(Translation: What did the person falling from the very very tall building in december say?
Happy Gravity!)

Why Are Firetrucks Red?

Firetrucks have 4 wheels and carry 8 men.
4 + 8 = 12
There are 12 inches in a ruler.
Queen Elizabeth was a ruler.
There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas.
Fish live in the seas.
Fish have fins.
People from Finland are called Fins.
Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago.
Russia has red on its flag.
And that's why they're red.
Cause they're always *russian* around.

A seashell tattoo

A blonde is showing off her tattoo, a seashell, on the inside of her thigh. When a friend asks why she had the tattoo placed there, she answers: "When you put your ear against it, you can smell the sea!"

How many letters are there in the Pirate Alphabet?

Ten. Aye, aye, arr, and the seven seas.

Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas.

Luke: How?
Darth Vader: I felt your presents.

If all the seas were dried up, what would Neptune say?

I really haven't got a notion.

People are always mistaken thinking there is only 1 letter in the pirate dictionary, in actual fact there is 10

Eye eye, argh and the 7 seas

This season of Game of Thrones set new records for Piracy

Probably because it's written by George Arrrrr Arrrrr Martin

When you're seasoning dinner in a hurry, remember....

Thyme is of the essence

When I was a kid I wanted to become a pirate, and sail the open seas.

But instead, I just ended up downloading a lot of movies.

Why are oceans called "The High Seas"?

Because of all the seaweed!

Recent studies have shown that several species of shrimp have randomly died while migrating to other seas or oceans

I guess they were accident prawn

What's a pirates favorite letter?

You would think R, but pirates really have a passion of the seas.

Value of a season ticket!

A woman was reading a newspaper one morning and said A her husband,
'Look at this, dear. There's an article here about a man who traded his wife for a season ticket to Arsenal. You wouldn't do a thing like that,-would you?'
'Of course I wouldn't!' replied her husband. 'The season's almost over!'

What's the difference between jeweler, a cut down tree, and a sea captain?

A sea captain watches the seas, while a jeweler sees the watches.

I have seasonal depression

I'm depressed in the spring, summer, fall and winter

I think that laziest animals must be the animals in the seas.

There is Sawshark, Hammerheadshark, Electric eel. Still not a single one house completed.

The fifth season will start in a few days

Nuclear Winter

In what body of water did h**... keep his string?

The Knot seas
Bring on the downvotes!

Everyone else has 4 seasons to look forward to: Sping, Summer, Fall, & Winter

We Seniors have only 1 season: Fall

How do you reach the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

You have to sail pasta seas.

There are only two seasons in Russia:

Winter and nuclear winter.

What seasoning does a widowed cannibal use?

Old Bae

This new season of survivor is turning out better than I ever expected.

I was really worried when they announced Survivor: White House.

Which season is a pimps favorite?

Fall, because he gets autumn h**...

We got our Seasonal bulk in at work today and got Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil.

It's for Autumnmobiles

Season 3 of stranger things is going to be kids running aways from...

Kevin Spacy

What are the four seasons called in New England?

Almost winter, Winter, Still winter, and 3 months of bad sledding.

I hated being a pirate in school...

All I got was seven seas.

Why are firetrucks red?

Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight makes twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and there were fish in the seas, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always Russian" around.

Why's it so hard to fail a class while studying abroad?

All the grades are over seas.

The seasons are all mixed up right now. It's supposed to be spring but it feels more like salt.

I'm so wintery

What's a pirate's favorite legal document?

A seas and desist!

What are the only two seasons in Michigan?

Winter and road construction.

When it comes to seasoning fish..

It's all about right plaice, right thyme

A seasoned general, surveying the battlefield with his lieutenant, sees an enemy soldier with his arm in a hole full of water

"Let's avoid him", the general says to the lieutentant. "He's well-armed."

Why did the sailors dog hide below deck?

Because it was afraid if ruff seas.

What is the best season to jump on a trampoline?

Spring time!


Two succesful marine biologists come back from their recent expedition, near the seas of Indonesia.
Biologist 1: You won't believe our results. We documented so many different types of fish, including a lot of nautiluses.
Biologist 2: It's not a lie.

I hate being a pirate in school.

Everytime I get back my report card, it has seven seas in it...

Back in the day last name said something about your profession...

The Smiths would hammer away creating armor and weapons as blacksmiths. The Fishers would navigate the seas in search as fishermen. And The Dickinsons, well no one really knew what they did.

My son hates being in pirate school.

I don't blame him, his report card always has seven seas.

The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best…

Winter boasts, "Well, you can build snowmen and the snow is so beautiful!"
Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!"
Summer rays, "Yes, but I am undoubtably the overall best season! Girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that!"
Autumn ~ *-leaves-*

This season of Earth is not realistic

So many plot holes. Like, where did the m**... hornets go? Why introduce them if they're not important to the story?
I'm feeling Lost.

A mysterious force drug a pirate ship closer to the Bermuda Triangle, alarming the captain.

The captain asked the lookout in the the crow's nest what he saw.
The lookout replied, "Captain, we be sailing tangent to stormy seas. It be a sine the secant be good."
The captain responded, "Aye, the sea put this here crew in a triggy situation."

What do ye call a pirate with a big b**...?

Thicc, with seven seas.

I hate being a pirate in school.

In my report card I always get seven seas.

Seasonal depression is kinda like a catholic woman giving birth...

It's gonna happen whether you like it or not and once it's done you know the next one's only 9 months away.

Four Seasons Total Landscaping

I'm not ready to stop laughing.

After 3 weeks at sea, the captain speaks to the oarmen. "I know its been rough seas, and tough rowing, but I've got some good news and bad news for you. The good news is you all get to change underwear....

...the bad news is, George you change with Bob. James, you change with Bill. John, you change with Ed, Rob you change.........."

Seasonal Affective Disorder

More like Fall Damage, mirite?

Why are Fire Trucks red?

Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and eight plus four is twelve, and there are 12 inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and firetrucks are always russian around.

Do you know why firetrucks are red?

Firetrucks have 4 wheels and carry 8 people.
There are 12 inches in a ruler
Queen Elizabeth is a ruler
There was a ship named Queen Elizabeth
Ships sail on seas
Seas have fish
Fish have fins
People from Finland are Finns
Finland and Russia border each other
Russians are red
Firetrucks are always Russian around

On the subject of American independence, did you know that the Revolution was initially viewed as a breach of contract?

They heard that the Americans violated the teas and seas.

Seashell Tattoo

I know this girl who has a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh.
If you put your ear up to it you can smell the ocean.

Why are fire trucks red?

Because they have eight wheels and four people, and eight plus four is twelve. Twelve inches is a foot, and a foot is a ruler. Queen Elizabeth is also a ruler, but queen Elizabeth is also a ship, and ships sail the seas, and seas have fish, and fish have fins, and the Fins fought the Russians, Russians are red, and fire trucks are always russhing around

How often should you season your food with something a bit spicier?


Who changes the season when Summer is over?

No one, it happens Autumnatically.

Why do failed pirates make terrible singers?

They can't hit the high seas.

Season ticket

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
"Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over," he said.

What's seafarer's favorite chemical equation?

NaCl(aq) + NaCl(aq)
. C^7
~~ Saline, saline, over the seven seas ~~

Did you hear about the beakers that sailed the seven seas?

They were the Pyrex of the Caribbean

Novice pirates are always bad singers.

They can never hit the high seas.

Seas joke, Novice pirates are always bad singers.

jokes about seas