Sean Jokes

Funniest Sean Short Jokes

Short sean jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sean humour may include short sean lock jokes also.

1. Me and the wife had a few issues in the bedroom last night... That's the last time I use my Sean Connery accent to ask her to sit on my face.
2. Alex Trebek died shortly after Sean Connery. He had to hurry and get to heaven before Connery found his Mother.
3. What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside? "Shomething'sh Amish..."
4. Well, that's the last time I tell my girlfriend to sit on my face... whilst doing a Sean Connery impersonation.
5. Sean Connery: A Man Who Conquers All *obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice*
   What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle?
   When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection.
6. Where does Sean Connery keep his guns? In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.
7. Why didn't Sean Connery get his roof fixed? He said he "couldn't find a shingle person to do it."
8. Sean Connery's New Job Sean Connery's agent calls him up and says "I've got an audition for you tomorrow about 10ish"
   Sean says "Great! I'll bring my racket"
9. In memorial of Sean Connery: My favorite knock knock joke. (Say out loud for best effect) Knock knock.
   Who's there?
   Dish
   Dish Who?
   (Said in Sean Connery accent) DISH IS SEAN CONNERY LET ME IN!
10. The Best Sean Connery Joke In EXISTENCE! (Read in Mr. Connery's voice)
    Ash I wash walking through my houshe, a book fell on me.
    I had only myshelf to blame.

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Sean One Liners

Which sean one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sean? I can suggest the ones about sean connery and mick.

1. How does Sean Connery shave? Ctrl+S
2. What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head? "I have only my shelf to blame"
3. I tried to send Sean Bean a death threat He mistook it for a job offer. :(
4. A book falls on Sean Connery's head "Well, I've only got my shelf to blame"
5. One thing that Sean Connery asked his wife only once and never again. To sit on his face.
6. Does Sean Connery like herb? Yes, but only partially.
7. What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish.
8. Why did Sean Connery hire a special kid to clean his kitchen? He had Dish-abilities
9. What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? "Tennish"
10. They say a woman's work is never done. Maybe that's why they get paid less.
11. As a belieber I am sick and tired of unbeliebers mocking out beliebs.
12. If Sean Connery starred in Interstellar... He'd tell Murph to stop talking to her shelf.
13. What's Sean Connery's favorite sport and when does he play it? Tennish
14. What time did Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Tennish.
15. A bit of advice: never read a pop-up book about giraffes.

Sean Connery Jokes

Here is a list of funny sean connery jokes and even better sean connery puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I told Sean Connery about how I was crushed by a pile of books. He said 'you've only got your shelf to blame'.
• When Sean Connery first learned to talk.. he would pronounce his name like "Sawn."
  His mother explained, "no dear, the S makes a "SH" sound.
  And the resht is hishtory.
• Sean Connery was arranging his bookcase when one of the books fell from the top and landed on his head. Unfortunately Sean Connery only had his shelf to blame.
• What did Sean Connery say when a book fell down and hit him on the head? I can only blame my shelf
• Did you know Sean Connery used to save the egg shells from pancake day and paint them to use for egg hunts at Easter? It was an egg shell lent idea
• Sean Connery is standing at your door, wearing white shorts and a white shirt and holding a racket. What time is it? Tennish.
• So Sean Connery Died today..... Couldn't he have died another day?
  ​
  (Sean is hands down the best James Bond!)
• Sean Connery was making a tennis date with a lady friend. He asks her "what time would you like to meet?"
  She says "Tennish"
  He says, "I know but what time?"
• Sean Connery had a load of books fall on his head, thanks to dodgy DIY He has only his shelf to blame
• What does Sean Connery call a greedy oyster? Shellfish.

Sean Bean Jokes

Here is a list of funny sean bean jokes and even better sean bean puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Sean Bean is the Narrator for Civilization VI So I guess he dies after the Bronze Age or ...?
• I just watched "the Martian" - What an unrealistic movie... ...Sean Bean survives.
• My mother heard about Sean Beans recent marriage. "I think it's his fifth marriage." says Dad.
  "Wow." says Mom. "His marriages are like his roles in film. Short Lived."
• I asked Sean and Shawn what their favorite kind of food is, they replied Sean: Beans
  Shawn: Bhawns
• Nothing is certain but death, taxes and Sean Bean dying in a movie ...and I'm not completely sure about the first two.
• How does Sean Bean get it both ways? He should be Seen Been or Shawn Bawn FFS
• TIL Sean Bean is immortal And that dying in movies is the only way he can experience death
• You couldn't kill Sean Bean if he was wearing a red shirt.
• Sean Bean dies. There, I just ruined almost every movie he's in.
• "Winter is coming..." "Aye, and so am I." *ugnhhh*
  Sean Bean, nooo!!

Sean Lock Jokes

Here is a list of funny sean lock jokes and even better sean lock puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What’s a normal day like in the life of Sean Lock? It’s just eight hours of sleep, six hours of hiding, two hours of regret and apologies, one hour of scratching… and then a bit of telly.
• Do you think British people judge others on their accent? I judge people long before they’ve opened their mouths.
• What would it mean to you to beat Jon this evening? It would be like… finding a fiver in an old coat.
• Imagine what the spider Kama Sutra is like with all those legs.
• If Sean Lock was a Hollywood actor... ... He'd be Robert Frowny Jr.
  - Jimmy Carr
• Imagine a world without herbs. It would be basically the same... But it would be missing just a little something.
• I hear voices in my head But I ignore them and carry on killing.
• Due to numerous imposters I have been forced to set up a twitter. Now go f**k yourselves.

Sean Hannity Jokes

Here is a list of funny sean hannity jokes and even better sean hannity puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Sean Hannity hates crisis actors So he decided to retire.
• Who is Sean Hannity's Favorite Movie Director? The Cohen Brother.
• What's Sean Hannity's favorite word game? Mad Libs.
• Sean Hannity never visits Venice He heard they only offer water boarding
• The snow's really coming down out there. It's whiter than a Sean Hannity book signing.

Uproarious Sean Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about sean you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sean pranks.