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Sea Life Jokes

43 sea life jokes and hilarious sea life puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sea life that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Sea Life Jokes

Short sea life jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sea life humour may include short marine life jokes also.

  1. "This is your Captain speaking..." "...if you look out of your window you will see a small yellow life raft floating in the sea. I am talking to you from there."
  2. What happened when the cast of 'Friends' were stuck out at sea in a life raft? They were fine, because Lisa Kudrow
  3. After the exodus through the Red Sea, Moses's staff could no longer perform miracles, and yet he kept it beside him the rest of his life... ...he just couldn't part with it.
  4. I was thinking about building a campground with a theme of aquatic life. A vacation for sea lovers and campers alike, to all in-tents and porpoises.
  5. What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer? One's a spineless, poisonous blob and the other is a form of sea life.
  6. Give a man a bottle of water and he will drink one day Put him on the sea and he will drink the rest of his life
  7. Of all the people in my life that have inspired me to achieve greatness... I would say the most inspirational was an obese man I saw cliff jump into the sea.
    He had a massive impact.
  8. A man drowned at sea attempting to board a life raft after his cargo ship sank. He was only used to going through hardships.
  9. It would make sense if Spongebob was homeless in real life Because who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
  10. There's this well I throw my change into that supports sea life conservation. I guess you can call it a well whale well.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about sea life can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of sea life puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Sea Life One Liners

Which sea life one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sea life? I can suggest the ones about sea animal and sea creature.

  1. How do you save a pirate's life? Sea pee ARGH!
  2. My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving! This is a new low...
  3. I've never caught a sea mammal My life is without porpoise
  4. What do you call someone who knows a lot about sea life? An Afishionado
    You're welcome!
  5. Why do sea life not need super visors? Because they're efishent enough already

Sea Life Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about sea life you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean sea lion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make sea life prank.

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub.

Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have s**... with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub.

Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have s**... with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

A grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea.
She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back."
And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.
She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"

Donald Trump, Vladimr Putin and Angela Merkel take a walk on the Beach.

Seeing the great body of water, Mr Trump felt the need to reassure the two others of his country's militaristic superiority.
"Folks, I can tell you, our Navy submarines, are so big and so good, would you believe it, they can remain submerged from the moment they leave the port, to the day they enter it again 6 months later. You haven't ever seen such great submarines in your entire life, folks."
Putin, not looking really impressed, answers:
"That's great, Donald. But my new nuclear submarines can stay submerged for almost an entire year. They are able to drive around the whole world without refueling, restocking, surfacing. What do you think of that?"
The two turn to Angela Merkel, and ask, "How long can the German submarines stay under, Mrs Merkel?"
Before Mrs Merkel can answer, the water next to them starts bubbling, and a big grey hull emerges from the sea. As soon as it comes to rest, the hatch on the tower creaks open, and a man in black uniform steps out. He raises his hand, and shouts, "Heil h**..., we need more diesel."

A Shlep on the Beach

A woman is at the beach with her grandson when a huge wave suddenly washes the boy out to sea. Grief-stricken, she falls on her knees, looks up to the sky and implores: "Oh God, return my grandson to me and I'll give all my money to the synagogue and devote my life to prayer and good works!"
Suddenly, the clouds part, the sky clears and another wave washes the boy back on the beach, completely unharmed. Once again the woman looks up to the heavens and cries out:
"He had a hat!"

Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years...

Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. "So, how's life been for you? " Ed asked. "Not too good," Ted replied. "My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son's in prison for trying to kill me, my daughter got run over by a bus, my house was hit by a low-flying aircraft, my vintage car rolled off the dockside into the sea, I had to have my dog put down recently, my doctor says that I have an incurable disease and to cap it all my business has just gone bust. "
"Oh dear, that sounds terrible. " Ed said. "What business were you in? "
"I sell lucky charms," said Ted."

The young sailor

A young sailor prepares for his first deployment as sea. As this is his first deployment the captain calls him into his quarters to ask the man if he is ready for a life at sea, surrounded by s**..., and away from women. The sailor thinks for awhile and replies "Well Captain, I'd be a lying s**... if I did not admit that the thought of not having a woman for months at a time had not crossed me mind." The Captain gives a warm smile and leans in to tell the young man something of importance. Lowering his voice the Captain says "Aye, mate tis hard at sea indeed but we've got a little secret on this ship. Below the lower deck there's a secret room originally intended for smuggling. In that room you will find a barrel with a very unique hole. See it's a magic barrel we found near the Bermuda triangle. Just go below deck and use the barrel when you get a craven. Just don't go below deck on Saturday evenings or Tuesday mornings." Overjoyed the sailor leaves the Captains quarters and heads down below deck. He is amazed at the feeling from the barrel, it's magical how the timber forms together to give a warm, wet feeling.
After his use he returns to the Captains quarters to let him know he found the barrel. He says "Captain, I found the secret barrel and it is truly magical. I only have one question, why can't I use it Saturday evenings or Tuesday mornings?"
"Aye," Says the Captain, "Cuz that's yahr days in the barrel."

Pirate jokes I've heard throughout my life

What did the pirate say when the steering wheel was shoved down his pants?
ARGHHHHH your driven me nuts!
Why was the pirate dissatisfied with his blind date?
She had a sunken chest and no b**....
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
They can spend years stuck at sea!
And of course: Why couldn't the teenagers watch the pirate movie?
BECAUSE IT WAS RATED ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Which of these two jokes with roughly the same theme is better?

A. A Christian is drowning in the sea. A boat comes up the crew tries to save them, but he says "no, God will save me!" Later another boat comes up and tries to save him again, but he insists that God will save him. Later a third boat comes along. The Christian is wheezing, gasping, almost exhausted, but manages to wheeze out "no, God will save me!" Then he drowns. In Heaven, he asks God why he didn't save him. God says "I sent you three boats!"
B. An atheist is drowning in the sea. Getting desperate, he says to himself "Okay, God, I know I've never believed in you before, but if you save me, I'll not only become a believer, I'll become the best believer. I'll go to church, do my best to never sin. Please save me." Then a boat suddenly appears out of nowhere with a crew getting their life saving equipment ready. The atheist says "Never mind, God: I got this!"

A man, a dog and a pig are in a boat...

Lost at sea, they wreck the boat and swim to a deserted island. Stranded there for months with little to do, the man begins to get urges and becomes oddly attracted to the pig. The man tries to mount the pig one day and out of no where the dog runs up and bites the man. Two days later, the man tries again. Again, the dog bites the man. The dog is not letting this happen. This continues to happen and suddenly, the man hears a cry from the water and sees a woman struggling as her boat is also wrecked and sinking. He quickly swims out to save the woman and brings her ashore. As she collects herself, she says to the man, "Thank you so much for saving my life! If there is anything I can do for you, and I mean anything, it will be done!" The man replies, "Can you take that dog for a walk?"

A research group on sea mammals captured a rather odd porpoise on one of its trips.....

Its peculiarity was that it had feet. After they had photographed and measured the poor thing, they prepared to set it free.
"Wait a minute," said one of the researchers, "Wouldn't it be a kindness if our ship's doctor here were to amputate the feet so that it would be like other porpoises?" "Not on your life," exclaimed the doctor,
"That would be defeeting the porpoise."

I Hate My Life

I hate my life. I'm 22 and work at a fast food restaurant where my coworker hates me with a burning passion.
I'm extremely underpaid and if I ask for a raise my boss will kill me. I hate my town and the people in it. But I can't leave because I don't have a license.
And do you want to hear the worst part?
I live in a pineapple under the sea.

A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea...

The people on the ship manage to escape on life boats. A woman comes to the captain and asks him: "How far is the closest land?"
The captain answers :"3 km."
The woman says after: "In which direction?", to which the captain replied :"Down"

When Aphrodite poses n**... on a seashell she's "beautiful" and "a goddess"

But when I do it apparently I'm "drunk" and "barred from the Sea Life Centre".

A man has just finished a trip to the Sea Life Centre, and is finishing up an ice cream on the way back to his car

When getting in to his car, he has a bit of ice cream round his mouth.
A guy parking alongside notices the mans tyres are a little flat and gestures for him to wind his window down.
"Hey man, it looks like you've blown a seal!"
"It's just ice cream, I swear to God!"

What would Freddie Mercury say, if he is dreaming about drowning in Orange juice?

Is this surreal life? Or is it FANTA-SEA?

If single life is hard don't worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

You just have to weave through all the plastic

What do you get when you cross whale DNA with human DNA?

Kicked out of Sea Life, apparently

A Sea Captain is complaining about how difficult his life is without a leg and an arm

He says to his crew mates, " When ye missin' two major parts of ye, thar ain't many things ye can do. "
The lookout hollers from the crow's nest " I 'ave it worse Captain! "
" Oh!? " The Sea Captain exclaims " 'n which two parts of ye be missin'? "
To which the lookout replies " Eye, eye Captain! "

Two Irishmen are lost at sea in a life boat

They're gradually dying of thirst, until one day they spot an ancient bottle bobbing past. They grab it out of the water, open it and a genie arises and say's he'll grant them one wish.
Immediately one of them blurts out, "I wish the entire sea were Guinness!" Instantly whole ocean turns black and foamy, pure Guinness.
"Whadda do that for ya feckin' idjit!" Yells his companion, "Now we have to p**... in the boat!"

a Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach having a nice day

When out of nowhere, a huge wave comes and sweeps him out to sea.
She drops to her knees and pleads, "Please God, save my only grandchild. I beg of you, my life has no meaning without him. Please bring him back.
And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.
She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"

Did you hear that Adelle started a campaign to raise awareness for sea life by reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone while scuba diving 60 ft under the water.

They called it "Rowling in the Deep"

A grandmother is watching her grandson....

A grandmother is watching her grandson play on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea.
She looks up and pleads, Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, my life has no meaning without him. Please bring him back.
And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.
She looks up to heaven and says: He had a hat!

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these sea life jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.