Scurvy Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

My favorite Pirate joke my dad always tells

A young pirate is talking to an older pirate and he says, "wow how did you lose your hand?" pointing at the pirates hook.

"Arrr me young lad twas fighting off some scurvy attackers trying to take me ship and in the sword fight I got me hand cut off."

"Well how did you lose your leg?" he asked pointing at the wooden leg.

"Arr me young lad was cooling my feet off in the ocean one fine sunny day and a shark came and bit me leg off!"

"Well how did you lose your eye?" the young pirate asked, pointing at the eye patch.

"Arrr me young lad, twas lying on a beach sunning me self when a bird flew over me and shit in me eye!!"

The young pirate asked, "how do you lose an eye from bird shit?"

"Arrr me young lad twas the first day with me hook!"

What kind of oranges do sailors eat to fight off scurvy?

Navel oranges

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day;

Teach a man to fish, and a month later he dies of scurvy.

So i know a guy who used to be a sailor.

Now he stays at home, and his wife seems to be discontent with him. So a few weeks ago, he got scurvy. I wondered, "what could possibly give him scurvy? He can just go to the store to get some produce! He's probably got food at home!"

Turns out he was trapped in a fruitless marriage.

Did you hear about the Pirate suffering from scurvy?

His attempts to cure it were *fruitless*.

Why do pirates like thick bitches?

They like their girls a little scurvy.

What kind of movies do scurvy circles enjoy?

Ο€rated movies.

Why did the 1920's gangster get scurvy?


Only 1700's sailors will get this...


How do pirates like their women?

They like em' scurvy.

Why did the internet pirate get scurvy?

He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore.

Which anti-virus software do pirates prefer?

Avast, ye scurvy dogs!

What do you call a mutt that hates fruit?

A scurvy dog

Why did the pirate have a fat girlfriend?

Real women have (s)curv(y)

...yeah it's a bit of a stretch

When life gives you lemons... won't get scurvy.

What are the funniest scurvy jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Scurvy? Well, here are the best Scurvy puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Scurvy pick up lines to share with friends.


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