scuba Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious scuba puns

Why did the stingray have a chat with the scuba diver?

He wanted to have a manta-man talk

(I'm so sorry)

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TIL why scuba divers fall backwards into the water

Because if they fall forward, they would land in the boat.

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A Shark and his Son

A shark and his son are swimming around in the water when they see some scuba divers.
The young shark says to his father, " let's go eat them".

The father tells his son, " this is not the way of sharks. First we swim around them three times, then we eat them"

The son asks, " why do we swim around them three times first."

The father retorts "Because humans taste alot better without the shit in them"

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DIVING WITHOUT EQUIPMENT

Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

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Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?

Because if they fell forward they'd still be on the boat. :D

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Why do scuba-divers go in backwards?

Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat.

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Why do scuba-divers jump backwards into the water?

Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat.

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I own a struggling scuba shop

...my business is going under.

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I hate scuba diving

It was the lowest moment of my life.

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One time, I was out scuba diving when I suddenly heard beautiful voices singing in unison.

I was very surprised until I looked beneath me and realized it was coming from a choral reef.

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Deep down...

...I knew scuba diving wasn't for me.

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Why do scuba divers dive backwards to go into the water?

Because if they dived forward, they'd fall in the boat.

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A diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level when he noticed a guy atο»Ώ the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, andο»Ώ the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 feet, and minutes later, theο»Ώ same guy joined him.

This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard set and wrote, "How the ο»Ώhell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

ο»Ώ
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and scrawled, "I'm ο»Ώdrowning, you moron!"

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A man is stranded on a desert island...

... When all of a sudden a beautiful brunette in full scuba gear strides out of the water surrounding the island. She sits down next to the awestruck man and says, "Would you like a cigarette?" The man agrees, and she unzips a pouch on her thigh and pulls out some cigarettes and a lighter.

After they've finished their cigarettes, the brunette says, "Would you like a drink?"

The man agrees, and the woman opens a small bag at her waist, and takes out a small bottle of champagne and two glasses. As they sip their drinks, the brunette leans forward and says, "Would you like to play around?"

The man's eyes widen and he yells, "You've got golf clubs in there as well?"

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I recently quit my job as a scuba diving instructor

I couldn't handle the pressure.

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I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...

One day I lobster and never flounder again.

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Why do scuba divers fall backwards from the boat?

Because if they fall forward, they'll end up on the boat.

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Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?

He won't inhale.

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A man's wife goes scuba diving and doesn't return...

The police show up the next day and inform the man, "Sir, we have bad news, good news, and even better news."

The husband says "Okay, well give me the bad news first."

"Well sir, we are sorry to say that your wife has drowned. She is dead, I'm terribly sorry."

"Oh no... wait, what's the good news?"

"Well sir, we pulled her body out of the water and there were three lobsters attached to the body!"

"THATS THE GOOD NEWS!? WHAT THE HELL IS THE BETTER NEWS!?"

Cop says,

"We are going to pull her up again tomorrow!!"

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An Expensive Scuba Diving Store in My Town Just Opened

It went under

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Howard and Dale walk into a bar

They sit down at the bar and see people scuba diving on the tv.

"So here's a question" says Howard "How come scuba divers sit on the side of the boat with their oxygen tanks facing outward, and fall backwards off the boat?"

Dale thought for a minute and then said "Thats easy, if they fell forward they'd still be in the frigging boat!"

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Why do scuba divers dive backwards?

Cause if they dived forward they would fell on the boat.

Real reason so that the eye and nose masks don't get filled with water on the impact straightforward and the oxygen tanks are heavy and it would exert less strain on the back. A prudent way.

Throwback Thursday Joke
Edited few grammar mistakes.

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What do you call an underwater dog?

Scuba Doo

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Why did the scuba diver drop out of graduate school?

Because he was always below a C

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Deep Sea Diver

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, and the guy joined him a moment later.

The diver went down even farther and the same guy was right behind him.

The confused diver took out out his waterproof chalkboard and wrote, "How the heck are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you freakin moron...!"

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With what did the scuba-diver use to cut seaweed?

A sea-saw

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Dad, why do scuba divers roll backwards off the boat?

Because, son, if they rolled forwards they'd still be in the boat.

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I used to own a beta fish

It would just sit and watch while I had sex with the little scuba guy.

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I had sex with an irresponsible scuba diver.

I was in too deep.

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Today my dad died in a scuba accident

It was a very depressing situation

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Why do scuba divers flip backwards when going into the water?

Because if they flipped forwards they'd still be in the boat

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Why do scuba divers fall backwards

Because if they fall forward they fall in the boat dumbass.

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Paddy And Murphy Are In The Pub

Paddy and Murphy are havin' a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. Paddy says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?" Murphy thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the friggin boat!"

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Why do scubadivers roll backwards out of the boat?

If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.

Credit to my girlfriend and boyfriend. They the real heroes.

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Why did the welder put on a scuba tank?

Someone's got to fix this sub.

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What are the most funny Scuba jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Scuba? Well, here are the best Scuba dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Scuba pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes