Scuba Jokes

What are some Scuba jokes?

Why did the stingray have a chat with the scuba diver?

He wanted to have a manta-man talk

(I'm so sorry)

TIL why scuba divers fall backwards into the water

Because if they fall forward, they would land in the boat.

DIVING WITHOUT EQUIPMENT

Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?

Because if they fell forward they'd still be on the boat. :D

Why do scuba-divers jump backwards into the water?

Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat.

I own a struggling scuba shop

...my business is going under.

I hate scuba diving

It was the lowest moment of my life.

One time, I was out scuba diving when I suddenly heard beautiful voices singing in unison.

I was very surprised until I looked beneath me and realized it was coming from a choral reef.

Deep down...

...I knew scuba diving wasn't for me.

A diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level when he noticed a guy atο»Ώ the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 feet, andο»Ώ the guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went below 25 feet, and minutes later, theο»Ώ same guy joined him.

This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard set and wrote, "How the ο»Ώhell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

ο»Ώ
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and scrawled, "I'm ο»Ώdrowning, you moron!"

I recently quit my job as a scuba diving instructor

I couldn't handle the pressure.

A man is stranded on a desert island...

... When all of a sudden a beautiful brunette in full scuba gear strides out of the water surrounding the island. She sits down next to the awestruck man and says, "Would you like a cigarette?" The man agrees, and she unzips a pouch on her thigh and pulls out some cigarettes and a lighter.

After they've finished their cigarettes, the brunette says, "Would you like a drink?"

The man agrees, and the woman opens a small bag at her waist, and takes out a small bottle of champagne and two glasses. As they sip their drinks, the brunette leans forward and says, "Would you like to play around?"

The man's eyes widen and he yells, "You've got golf clubs in there as well?"

I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...

One day I lobster and never flounder again.

Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?

He won't inhale.

An Expensive Scuba Diving Store in My Town Just Opened

It went under

Howard and Dale walk into a bar

They sit down at the bar and see people scuba diving on the tv.

"So here's a question" says Howard "How come scuba divers sit on the side of the boat with their oxygen tanks facing outward, and fall backwards off the boat?"

Dale thought for a minute and then said "Thats easy, if they fell forward they'd still be in the frigging boat!"

Why do scuba divers dive backwards?

Cause if they dived forward they would fell on the boat.

Real reason so that the eye and nose masks don't get filled with water on the impact straightforward and the oxygen tanks are heavy and it would exert less strain on the back. A prudent way.

Throwback Thursday Joke
Edited few grammar mistakes.

What do you call an underwater dog?

Scuba Doo

Why did the scuba diver drop out of graduate school?

Because he was always below a C

With what did the scuba-diver use to cut seaweed?

A sea-saw

I used to own a beta fish

It would just sit and watch while I had sex with the little scuba guy.

I had sex with an irresponsible scuba diver.

I was in too deep.

Today my dad died in a scuba accident

It was a very depressing situation

Why do scubadivers roll backwards out of the boat?

If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.

Credit to my girlfriend and boyfriend. They the real heroes.

Paddy And Murphy Are In The Pub

Paddy and Murphy are havin' a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. Paddy says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?" Murphy thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the friggin boat!"

Why did the welder put on a scuba tank?

Someone's got to fix this sub.

Why do scuba divers dive out of the boat backwards?

'cause if they dive forward they fall in the boat

Do you know why scuba divers roll backwards off boats?

Because if they rolled forward they would just go into the boat

BMW and Mercedes used to make scuba gear...

...but eventually BMW was forced to shut down. People kept getting the Benz.

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell backwards into the air they'd be skydivers.

What goes in head first and dry and then comes out wet and smelling like a fish?

A scuba diver.

My wife wants to go scuba diving while I prefer sky diving...

We cant find any common ground

What do you call an actor that scuba dives?

Johnny Depth

Dad jokes win

Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Because if they didn't the would fall into the boat

I went SCUBA-diving and my equipment malfunctioned. I was so mad...

... it literally made my blood boil.

What do you get when you go scuba diving with your iPhone 6

The bends.

Why do scuba divers throw themselves backwards off of boats?

Because if they threw themselves forwards they would land in the boat.

How to make Scuba jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Scuba to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Scuba? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Scuba pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes