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Scuba Diving Jokes

40 scuba diving jokes and hilarious scuba diving puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scuba diving that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Scuba Diving Short Jokes

Short scuba diving jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The scuba diving humour may include short scuba jokes also.

  1. One time, I was out scuba diving when I suddenly heard beautiful voices singing in unison. I was very surprised until I looked beneath me and realized it was coming from a choral reef.
  2. I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor the first day at work. Deep down.., I realized it wasn't for me.
  3. Did your hear about the alcoholic scuba diver? He was convicted of diving under the influence.
  4. Why do scuba divers dive out of the boat backwards? 'cause if they dive forward they fall in the boat
  5. My wife wants to go scuba diving while I prefer sky diving... We cant find any common ground
  6. The reason why Scuba-divers dive backwards is because they'll just hit their heads in their boats if they dive forward.
  7. I went SCUBA-diving and my equipment malfunctioned. I was so mad... ... it literally made my blood boil.
  8. Why do scuba divers dive backwards? If they did it forward, then they'd just end up in the boat.
  9. Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
    He simply s**... all the life out of the ocean to breath.

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Scuba Diving One Liners

Which scuba diving one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with scuba diving? I can suggest the ones about diving and scuba divers.

  1. I hate scuba diving It was the lowest moment of my life.
  2. Deep down... ...I knew scuba diving wasn't for me.
  3. I recently quit my job as a scuba diving instructor I couldn't handle the pressure.
  4. I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving... One day I lobster and never flounder again.
  5. Why can't bill clinton go scuba diving? He won't inhale.
  6. An Expensive Scuba Diving Store in My Town Just Opened It went under
  7. Why do perfectionists not go scuba diving? Because they don't like going under the C
  8. What do you call an actor that scuba dives? Johnny Depth
  9. Chris Rea just got his scuba certification Diving home for christmas
  10. I used to have a scuba diving business But it went under.
  11. What do you get when you go scuba diving with your iPhone 6 The bends.
  12. I tried learning to scuba dive but I was clearly out of my depth.
  13. Did you hear about what happened to that scuba diving store yesterday? It went under.
  14. When I went scuba diving the guy gave me the wrong breathing gases, what an oxy m**....

Uplifting Scuba Diving Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about scuba diving you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean skydiving jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make scuba diving pranks.

DIVING WITHOUT EQUIPMENT

Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you m**...!"

Diving

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he was not wearing a scuba gear.
The diver went below another 20 ft but the guy joined him a few minutes later.
The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him.
This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the h**... are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'M DROWNING s**...".

Howard and Dale walk into a bar

They sit down at the bar and see people scuba diving on the tv.
"So here's a question" says Howard "How come scuba divers sit on the side of the boat with their oxygen tanks facing outward, and fall backwards off the boat?"
Dale thought for a minute and then said "Thats easy, if they fell forward they'd still be in the frigging boat!"

Why do scuba divers dive backwards?

Cause if they dived forward they would fell on the boat.
Real reason so that the eye and nose masks don't get filled with water on the impact straightforward and the oxygen tanks are heavy and it would exert less strain on the back. A prudent way.
Throwback Thursday Joke
Edited few grammar mistakes.

The other day while scuba diving for seafood it dawned on me that everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,

that's shellfish.

Did you hear that Adelle started a campaign to raise awareness for sea life by reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone while scuba diving 60 ft under the water.

They called it "Rowling in the Deep"

Bob's friend was scuba-diving, and then froze to death. He asked eveeyone who was monitoring him at the time...

...and was told that the last mesage received from him, just seconds before, was that he was ''Ok''. He asked to see the message itself. After about a minute of examining, he exclaimed in anger, ''You morons, he said he was at 0°K!''