Scruffy Jokes
10 scruffy jokes and hilarious scruffy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scruffy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uplifting Scruffy Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What is a good scruffy joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Since we seem to be doing talking dog jokes today...
A man walks into a talent agency, carrying a small, scruffy looking dog. He sets the dog on the agent's desk and begins his speech:
"Sir, I have for you the most amazing act. This dog can speak. And not only can he speak, he's one of the most intelligent dogs you'll ever meet. Allow me to demonstrate: Dog, what is on the top of a house?"
"Roof!" Says the dog.
"Amazing! Dog: what is the opposite of smooth?"
"Roof!" the dog replies.
"Incredible! Dog: who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?"
Again, the dog says "Roof!"
"Remarkable! So what do you think?"
The agent leans back in his chair and says "Get lost. I can't sell that carny act."
Outside the agent's office, the dog looks up at the man and says "Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"
Methylated Spirit
A scruffy homeless man walks into a DIY store.
"Bottle of methylated spirit please."
"Look mate, no offense but I wasn't born yesterday. I can't sell that to you when I know you're just gonna drink it."
"Hey, what are you implying? This is ridiculous, I'm using it for woodwork!"
"All right, all right..." says the shopkeeper, taking a bottle of the shelf.
"Oh, haven't you got a cold one?"
I took my niece to the zoo the other day...
The only animal there was a small, scruffy looking dog.
I called the zookeeper over.
"What's with the scruffy old dog? Why is that the only animal?"
"It's a Shih-Tzu"
Had to go to work looking scruffy today...
My s**... kid didn't get any razorblades in his Halloween candy.
A scruffy depressed looking joke walks into a bar, the bartender says "You look worse for wear today, buddy."
"Yeah," the joke replies, "Everything was nice and fresh yesterday, but then I got reposted."
A scientist is sat at the bar when a scruffy hobo sits down next to him...
"Hey buddy, are you that scientist feller?"
"... Yes I am. Is there something I can do for you?"
The hobo pulls something out of his pocket.
"I've found this marvelous material that's tough like plastic, stretchy like rubber and sticky like glue."
He hands it to the scientist.
"Why, yes!" says the scientist "This is quite a remarkable material. Wherever did you find it?"
"My nose."
Three conspiracy theorists are sitting at a bar.
Man, I can't believe NASA thinks we'd eat up that moon landing b**..., one of them says.
I know, right? says another. Everyone knows deep down that it was fake.
The moon is way too far away for anybody to realistically land on! the third one interjects. If they could do it, why aren't we all living on the moon?
The three theorists hear an audible grunt coming from the corner of the room. They turn around to see a scruffy old man smoking a cigar.
Lemme get this straight, the man says, taking the cigar out of his mouth for a moment. Y'all actually believe in the moon?
Oldie but still good...
This seems to fit here:
Some sub-par counterfeiters discovered that their latest run of bills were all $18 denominations. They realized that they couldn't pass them off in the city so they headed out to the hinterlands to try and pass them off.
They stopped at a backwoods general store and asked the scruffy, gap toothed man behind the counter if he could make change for an $18 bill.
The old man took it and looked it over carefully.
Sure. I can make change. Do you want two $9s or three $6s?
A charismatic preacher...
A charismatic preacher at a church invited any members of his flock who had problems to come forward so that prayers could be offered on their behalf. One rather scruffy, down at heel young man approached the pulpit and upon being asked the nature of his problem said, It's my hearing. The preacher then led the congregation in prayer asking for divine intervention to ease this poor man's affliction, accompanied by a chorus of praise the Lords, and Hallelujahs. Following this mass intervention the preacher asked the young man, How's your hearing now? to which he replied, It's not on 'till next Thursday.
A guy is not having any luck picking up chicks
He notices that there is another little guy sitting by himself who is doing much better. Every hour or so a different girl walks up to the little guy, starts talking and they soon leave together.
The first guy turns to the bartender and asks "Why does he have all the luck. There is nothing special about him. He's just this scruffy little guy sitting all by himself."
The bartender replies "Ya. I don't understand it either. All he does is sit there all evening l**... his eyebrows."

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