One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up.
To get to the other side
Too
It takes two, very tiny people, to screw, in a lightbulb.
Always joking around when he should be fixing my computer.
1... or 2?? Or 1? Or 2?
How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.
Because I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a 10 minute break in between for snacks. Then I'd stare at you for another 5-10 minutes thinking, "Wow, I really hope I don't screw this up."
One.
Men can be Feminists, too.
"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
"Screw you" she screamed back at me.
Bit harsh I thought...... it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital!
None it's all tongue and groove
None it's always lit fam
None, it's already lit fam.
Just one... But it takes 4 episodes and Krillin dies...
By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them
None. We don't address hardware issues.
Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!
That's not funny
Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.
YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE!
Two.
One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the penis..*ER..LADDER! I MEANT LADDER!*
Apparently more than 40, because my basement's still dark
He said "screw" lolol
Apparently not 17, cause my basement is still dark.
We may never know the truth.
none. That's a hardware problem
but have you tried turning it on and off again?
Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.
One. She just holds it in place, while the world revolves around her. * Beverly Hills ninja edit... rotates to revolves
Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to tell you they are vegans.
.......
Well apparently the correct answer is three. The extra one is needed to post whiny replies when they all get triggered by this joke.
None, they just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
None. Who needs a lightbulb when there's a glass ceiling.
Just one. They're efficient and not very funny.
It must be more than eight, 'cause my basement's still dark.
Two. One to hold the bulb and one to drink until the room spins.
None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.
The woman screams, "The child is mine! I birthed him from my own flesh and blood and carried him through labour! All you did was screw me, you don't deserve him!"
The man calmly replies, "Tell me, if I put ten cents in a vending machine and a drink pops out, does it belong to me or the vending machine?"
\[removed\]
Only two, but its kinda hard to get em in there.
How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Definitely not 9, my basement is still dark
Two, but I have no clue how they got in there.
One
One, but it takes an entire emergency room to get it out.
Just one, but it takes two doctors and a nurse to get it out.
69.
Just one, but it will take three episodes.
It's a really obscure number and you've probably never heard of it.
They all jump into the life boats, but due to the weight, the life boats start sinking as well.
The doctor exclaims Save the children! And begins to jump out of the lifeboat.
The lawyer grabs the doctor and pulls him back stating Screw the children!
The priest says Do we have time?
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington shouts, "Save the women!"
George W. Bush hollers, "Screw the women!"
Bill Clinton asks excitedly, "Do we have time?"
He sees one he likes, so he asks the seller:"Is he any good for mating?"
"Oh, no problem there, he screwed every single chicken I had. He even tries to screw ducks, turkeys, even pigs!"
"Then why" asks the puzzled farmer "are you even selling him?"
"You see" answers the seller "lately he's been looking at me kinda funny."
Two refugees are waiting in line to get into the US, one says "screw this line, I'm going to shoot Trump". He leaves for a while and then comes back to resume his place in line. The other guy says "so, did you do it?" He says "no, the line there was even longer than this one."
Only 2, it's just really difficult getting them in the lightbulb.
I don't know, but it's not five, because my basement is still dark.
The captain comes over the intercom: "Everyone please make your way to the lifeboats".
The social worker yells out: "Women & children first!"
The lawyer starts pushing his way towards the boats: "Screw the children!"
The priest responds: "Do we have time?"
Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.
They don't, I eat them all.
Why does everything have to be a group activity?
Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway.
Wanna go for a bike ride?
None. Hillary Clinton fans prefer to stay in the dark.
None. They'd rather be in the dark about things.
There once was a man from St. Lou
Who gave his dear sister a screw.
He said with aplomb:
"You're better than Mom."
Said she: "That's what Dad told me too."
His funeral has been postponed until his family get the screw that wasn't included with his KÖFFIN product
Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it.
None. They don't accept change, even if it means a brighter world.
Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it.
They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dumpsters
One. Just because she's dead doesn't mean she can't still screw.
...when the priest sees a boy across the way.
The priest turns to the rabbi and says, "Let's go over there and screw that boy!"
The rabbi looks the boy over and says to the priest, "out of what?"
Flabbergasted mailman says: "My goodness that was outstanding, wonderful, thank you, I really appreciate it. May I ask why you did all this for me?"
Woman says: "I told my husband you were retiring and suggested we do something for you and he said "screw the mailman, give him a dollar", the lunch was my idea."
Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.
2...but who knows how they got in there
Trick question: asexuals don't screw anything.
None. Dogs already light up the room.
Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That's not funny.
One. The rest were just following orders.
That night, the wife comes out of the bathroom naked and starts playing with her nipples.
"What did you think the first time you saw these 30 years ago?"
"I wanna to suck them dry," he says.
She crawls onto the bed, "What did you think when you saw all this 30 years ago?"
"I wanted to screw your brains out, baby," he says with a smile.
She giggles, teasingly, "What are you thinking now?"
"I think I did a pretty good job at both."
Click here to find out!
Only two, but the real question is how they got in there.
Five. One to hold the lightbulb and four to turn the ladder.
The boat begins to sink.
George Washington stands up and valiently exclaims, "Save the Women!"
George Bush runs to the lifeboat, shouting, "Screw the women!"
Bill Clinton stands up and says excitedly, "Do we have time?"
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