screw Jokes

funny screw pick up lines and hilarious screw puns

How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?


One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up.

👍🏼

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take in to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side

👍🏼

How many "friend-zones" guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw.

👍🏼

How many grammar Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Too

👍🏼

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes two, very tiny people, to screw, in a lightbulb.

👍🏼

Screw that clown from IT.

Always joking around when he should be fixing my computer.

👍🏼

How many optometrist does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1... or 2?? Or 1? Or 2?

👍🏼

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

👍🏼

Hey girl, are you the SAT?

Because I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a 10 minute break in between for snacks. Then I'd stare at you for another 5-10 minutes thinking, "Wow, I really hope I don't screw this up."

👍🏼

How many Feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

Men can be Feminists, too.

👍🏼

"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor...

"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
"Screw you" she screamed back at me.

Bit harsh I thought...... it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital!

👍🏼

how many screws hold together a lesbians bed?

None it's all tongue and groove

👍🏼

How many fuq bois does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None it's always lit fam

👍🏼

How many "sup dude"s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, it's already lit fam.

👍🏼

How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one... But it takes 4 episodes and Krillin dies...

👍🏼

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them

👍🏼

How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. We don't address hardware issues.

👍🏼

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!

👍🏼

How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Nobody knows, the never get to keep the house.

👍🏼

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

That's not funny

👍🏼

How many mystery novel writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in almost all the way, and another one to give it a surprising twist at the end.

👍🏼

How many guys in the friendzone does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just stand around and compliment it, and then get pissed when it won't screw

👍🏼

How many guys in the Friendzone does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just stand around complimenting it then get pissed when it doesn't screw.

👍🏼

How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One? Or two?

One?

....

Or two?

👍🏼

How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE!

👍🏼

How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.

One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the penis..*ER..LADDER! I MEANT LADDER!*

👍🏼

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2- One to screw it in most of the way, and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.

👍🏼

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Apparently more than 40, because my basement's still dark

👍🏼

How many prepubescent teen boys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

He said "screw" lolol

👍🏼

How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z

👍🏼

How many dead people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Apparently not 17, cause my basement is still dark.

👍🏼

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

👍🏼

How many I.T. guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

none. That's a hardware problem

but have you tried turning it on and off again?

👍🏼

How many ladybugs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

👍🏼

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. She just holds it in place, while the world revolves around her. * Beverly Hills ninja edit... rotates to revolves

👍🏼

What are the best Screw puns ?

Did you ever wanted to be joking with someone about Screw? Well, here are the best Screw dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny pranks and Screw pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes