Scratch Lottery Jokes

6 scratch lottery jokes and hilarious scratch lottery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scratch lottery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Fun-Filled Scratch Lottery Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What is a good scratch lottery joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A man asked his wife what she would do if he won the lottery

I would take my half and leave you , his wife said.
The man pondered for a minute before reaching into his pocket. He then handed his wife a $5 bill. She gave her husband a confused look and he said, I won 10 bucks on a scratch off today. See you around.

A husband and wife are arguing...

"What would you do if I won the lottery?" he demands.
"I'd take half the money and be gone so fast you'd be dizzy," she replies.
"My scratch ticket won ten bucks. Here's five. Let me get the door."

I saw a crippled man in a wheelchair at a gas station once.

He bought a couple of scratch off lottery tickets, scratched the surface with his coin, and shouted with glee, I won ten thousand dollars! . Well I was broke, and I needed gas money to get to my shift at work. I asked the crippled man, excuse me sir? Is there any possible way I could have ten dollars, just to put into my gas tank so I can get to work? The crippled man stared deeply at me and said, you can have your ten dollars when you pry them from my cold dead hands.
And that's the story of how I got ten thousand dollars.

A man wins big...

*pardon if this is a repost*
A gig worker hits a convenience store on the way home, and buys some juice, a sausage croissant, and a scratcher. Once outside he scratches the card, and wins $400 dollars. The guy collects his winnings and heads home.
When he arrives, he asks his wife "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
She replies "I'd take half the money and leave you."
"Great! I just won $200 tonight, here's $100 -- enjoy your half."

Walked into the house, with winning scratch off ticket in hand..

Me: Honey! It finally happened! we won the lottery!

Wife: Great I'll take my half and pack my bags.

Me: Your $8 is on the suitcase.

What are lottery tickets made from?


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