Scrape Jokes

29 scrape jokes and hilarious scrape puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scrape that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Scrape Short Jokes

Short scrape jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The scrape humour may include short scratch jokes also.

  1. It was so cold this morning I had to use my Tesco discount card to scrape the ice off my windscreen Didn't work though, I only got 10% off.
  2. I asked a road-kill removal specialist if he would donate to my charity. He said he might be able to scrape together a few bucks.
  3. I told my wife to make sure the coconut oil is mixed nicely with the kale so I can easily scrape it into the garbage.
  4. What is everyone using to scrape ice off their windscreen? This morning I used a discount card from my wallet, but it was no good. I only got 20% off.....!!
  5. The other day I was scraping leftovers into the garbage... ...and I couldn't help but think of those poor kids in Africa who don't have any garbage bins.
  6. I was told to scrape the ice off my windshield with my supermarket discount card.. ..I tried but it only took off 10%.
  7. Protip: If you stir some coconut oil into your kale It makes it easier to scrape into the trash
  8. Whenever my wife makes kale, I season it with a nice garlic-infused honey. It makes it easier to scrape into the garbage.
  9. One of my most loving memories of my mom was when I scraped my knee and she kissed my boo-boo and put a bandaid on it. It really stuck with me.
  10. I used a store discount card to scrape the ice off my windshield. I only managed to get 20% off.

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Scrape One Liners

Which scrape one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with scrape? I can suggest the ones about skim and shave.

  1. I scraped my elbow looking for coal It was a miner injury.
  2. What's the best herbal remedy for cuts and scrapes? Thyme. It heals all wounds
  3. Why are discount cards so bad at scraping ice off a car? Because you only get 10% off
  4. How do you make a pig blue? Pigment.
    What does a pig put on a scrape?
  5. What did the wooden boar say when he fell and scraped his leg? Mahogany!
  6. What do you get if you scrape off all of Tammy Faye Bakker's makeup? Jimmy Hoffa
  7. I asked the plow man how business was this time of year "Just scraping by" he replied
  8. I fell over during an exam today. Still, scraped an E.
  9. What do you call getting scraped by a pickaxe? A minor injury
  10. What do you call a GOAT that got a SCRAPE? A vet
  11. Do you want my comeback? Then go scrape it off your mums teeth
  12. Are you waiting for my comeback? You can scrape it off your mom's teeth
  13. What's more fun than nailing dead babies to a wall? Scraping them back off
  14. What did the vampire say when his son scraped his knee? **"s**... it up"**

Scrape joke, What did the vampire say when his son scraped his knee?

Quirky and Hilarious Scrape Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about scrape you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean scoop jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make scrape pranks.

Best lines when dealing with telemarketers

Some of the better ones
* City Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em
* Mario's Pizzaria and Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, may I take your order?
* Roadkill Cafe, you kill it, we grill it
* Mort's Mortuary, you slice 'em, we ice 'em
* Bob's Back Alley Abortion Parlour, you r**... 'em, we scrape 'em, no fetus can beat us
Anyone have more?

Princess Diana Jokes

What's the difference between Princess Diana and a blade of grass? About six feet.
How is Princess Diana like a mobile phone? Both die in tunnels.
Where does Diana stay when she visits Paris? Any place she can c**....
How is Princess Diana like breaking a bone? Both need a doctor to remove the plaster of paris.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and thirty-nine pennies? It's easier to scrape together thirty-nine pennies.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What's the difference between Princess Diana an Casper the ghost? Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? A Mercedes will easily reach 40.
What would Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.
Yes I am a horrible person wow.

I've been having trouble getting frost off my car...

I've been having trouble getting frost off the windscreen of my car. I tried to use a coupon card to scrape it away
But I could only get 20 % off

Came out of the store and saw a huge scrape down the side of my car. A couple of witnesses said it was a person in an electric wheelchair. They ran into my car and just kept on going. I just wanted to tell that person I will find you...

You can hide, but you can't run.

Scrape joke, What do you get if you scrape off all of Tammy Faye Bakker's makeup?