Scrap Jokes

27 scrap jokes and hilarious scrap puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scrap that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you have a spare tire, but no more room for a regular joke? Scrap jokes is the answer for you! Learn about the art of transforming scrap metal, car wreckage, and other waste into humorous items that can be used for home decor and more. Discover tips to whittle and collect scrap items, so you can find the best way to recycle and create something funny!

Funniest Scrap Short Jokes

Short scrap jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The scrap humour may include short scratch jokes also.

  1. I told my mate that I had finally retired my aging car. He asked if I'd sold it or scrapped it.. I said nothing that drastic, I just put a new set of Michelins on it.
  2. Very bad product name Did you guys hear that Apple scrapped its idea for an iPod touch for children when they realized that iTouch Kids would be a bad product name?
  3. So, I was talking to my friend who runs a scrap yard. I asked how business was... ... He replied: "pretty good, I've seen a bit of a pickup recently."
  4. So they were going to make a new CSI tv show in West Virginia... But they had to scrap production when they realized there were no dental records and all the DNA was the same.
  5. Did you hear about the Jewish kamikaze pilot? He crashed his plane onto his brothers scrap metal yard.
  6. Tom used to pick up scrap metal. Then the police started an investigation to find out why. It turned out that he was a forger. Makes cents.
  7. There were plans to have Chuck Norris's face on Mt. Rushmore Unfortunately, the plans had to be scrapped because the granite was too soft to make his beard.
  8. Did you hear about the supreme court justice who was caught stealing the scraps from restaurant booths? Police identified her as Booth Raider Ginsburg.
  9. Apple scraps a new product... I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented IPod after realizing that "ITouch Kids" is not a good product name.
  10. If you cut yourself on a cheese grater It probably is for the grater good...
    scrap that joke, it's too cheesy.

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Scrap One Liners

Which scrap one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with scrap? I can suggest the ones about junk and scars.

  1. What was Dr. Frankenstein's dog's name? Scraps
  2. What do you call the scraps of food that fall from the table? Floor d'ouevres
  3. What did the bartender say to the scrap lumber? Your cutoff
  4. What do you call a rabbi that you scrap off your shoe? Resi-jew. I'm so sorry.
  5. Why was a piece of scrap metal liked by everyone? Because it was ex-scythe-thing.
  6. Your momma's so fat... ...she thinks table scraps are when you fight for food!
  7. Why was the predecessor to iPhoneX scrapped? Someone called out iPhoney
  8. Chuck Norris built Rome with a box of scraps.

Scrap Metal Jokes

Here is a list of funny scrap metal jokes and even better scrap metal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I've found a new genre of music. It's a combination of heavy rock n' roll, hip hop, and folk music. I call it Scrap Metal.

Scrap Yard Jokes

Here is a list of funny scrap yard jokes and even better scrap yard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If I owned a scrap yard, I'd go to the rival scrap yard... ...and take the "S" off their sign.
Scrap joke, If I owned a scrap yard, I'd go to the rival scrap yard...

Scrap joke, If I owned a scrap yard, I'd go to the rival scrap yard...

Hilarious Fun Scrap Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about scrap you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean scat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make scrap pranks.

What is everyone using to scrape ice off their windscreen?

This morning I used a discount card from my wallet, but it was no good. I only got 20% off.....!!

I scraped my elbow looking for coal

It was a miner injury.

A magician working on a ship was losing people's interest with the captains parrot telling everyone how he was performing his tricks.

After a few weeks into the course, the ship breaks down and sinks in the ocean. The magician makes it out alive and holds onto a scrap of wood not to drown. Unfortunately the parrot was also using the same scrap to survive.
A few days go past and the parrot finally looks to the magician and says, "You know what? I give up! How did you make the ship disappear?"

The other day while scuba diving for seafood it dawned on me that everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,

that's shellfish.

Why do scrap salvagers like cheese so much?

Because they sort through de-brie to earn some cheddar.

What do you get if you scrape off all of Tammy Faye Bakker's makeup?

Jimmy Hoffa

I was scraping a window at my Grandma's house....

I then thought up a joke for my mom to hear it was "This window scraping stuff is a pane in the glass!"
She laughed :)

Did you hear about the electrician who bought a Camaro using money he got from scrap wire?

He really crimped and saved

Scrap joke, What do you call a rabbi that you scrap off your shoe?