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Scotties Jokes

20 scotties jokes and hilarious scotties puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scotties that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Scotties Short Jokes

Short scotties jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The scotties humour may include short jokes also.

  1. Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and Dennis Rodman are set to compete against each other in a wordplay competition in Spain The Punning Of The Bulls
  2. Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise? He was looking for the Captain's log.
  3. What did Jesus say before He ascended to Heaven on the 40th day of Easter? "Beam me up, Scotty."
  4. Why did the Chicago Bulls keep Scotty Pippen on the team? So Michael Jordan had something to put his cigars out on.
  5. If there's a Scottish man out there with a magical smile that cheers up anyone he encounters.... Then beam me up Scotty!

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Scotties One Liners

Which scotties one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with scotties? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. Scotty doesn't know.
  2. What did Captain Kirk say when playing basketball? D me up, Scotty!
  3. What is Scotty Pippen's favorite Vegas game? Craps.
  4. What did the Doc say to Scotty? Great Scott.
  5. What kind of people like Scottie's hair? Chubby 7th grade girls!
  6. "Don't beam me up now, Scotty!... ... I'm taking a sh–"

Scotties Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about scotties you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make scotties pranks.

Why aren't there any Muslims on Star Trek?

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a U.S. Marine General.
As they talked the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what i have seen in America." The General said, "well anything i can do to help"
The Iranian whispered, "my son watches this show called Star Trek and in it there is Kirk who is American, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, and Sulu who is japanese, but there are no Muslims.
My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Egyptians, Palestinians, Saudis, Syrians, or Pakistanis on Star Trek.
The General laughed, leaned toward the Iranian Ambassador and whispered in his ear, "That's because it takes place in the future...."

Islamic Star Trek?

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech, and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a United States Marine Corps General.

As they talked, the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what I have seen in
America ."
The General said, "Well, is there anything I can do to help?"
The Iranian whispered, "My son watches this show called 'Star Trek' and in it there
is Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, and Sulu who is Japanese, but there are NO Muslims. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Egyptians, Palestinians, Saudis, Syrians, or Pakistanis on 'Star Trek'.

"The General leaned toward the Iranian Ambassador, and whispered in his ear, "That's because it takes place in the future..."

Be careful what you ask for!

A Scotsman was strolling across High Street one day wearing
his kilt. As he neared the far curb, he noticed two young blondes in
a red convertible eyeing him and giggling.
One of them called out, "Hey, Scotty! What's worn under the kilt?"
He strolled over to the side of the car and asked, "Ach, lass, are you SURE you want to know?"
Somewhat nervously, the blonde replied yes, she did really want to know.
The Scotsman leaned closer and confided, "Why, lass, nothing's worn under the kilt, everything's in perfect workin' order!"