Scots Kilt Jokes

7 scots kilt jokes and hilarious scots kilt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scots kilt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Share These Scots Kilt Jokes With Friends

Scots Kilt Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good scots kilt joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Why are Scots the toughest guys in the world?

They wear kilts in a country where thistles grow waist-high.

Scots vs English

Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Cause sheep can hear a zipper at 50 yards.
Why do the English wear trousers? Cause goats are deaf.

Why do the Scots wear kilts?

Sheep run away when they hear a zipper.

A lady walks up to a Scot...

A lady walks up to a Scot wearing a kilt and asks... 'Is anything worn under the kilt?'
'No', he said. 'It's all in perfect condition'.

A Scottish Soldier marches into a pharmacy

A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy.
Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton
bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also
unfolds to reveal a c**....
The c**... has a number of patches on it.
The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.
"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.
"Six pence" says the chemist.
"How much for a new one?"
"Ten pence" says the chemist.

The Scot painstakingly folds the c**... into the silk square handkerchief
and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran, and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging.
A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside,
followed by an even greater shout.

The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the
proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.

"The regiment has taken a vote," he says. "We'll have a new one."

Woman to Scotsman: What do you wear under your kilt?

Scot: Put your hand up and feel.
Woman: Oh! It's gruesome
Scot: Put your hand up again, it's gruesome more!

How did the Scot die?

He got kilt.

Share These Scots Kilt Jokes With Friends