Scorpion Jokes

32 scorpion jokes and hilarious scorpion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scorpion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of scorpion jokes! These witty jokes are sure to get you smiling.

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Funniest Scorpion Short Jokes

Short scorpion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The scorpion humour may include short zodiac jokes also.

  1. My friend gets crickets when he needs to feed his pet scorpion. Do you know when I get crickets? Every time I tell a joke.
  2. What kind of song did Sub-Zero, Raiden, and Scorpion sing at their Scandinavian church? Finnish Hymn!
  3. Best yo momma joke? Your momma so ugly when she plays Mortal Kombat Scorpion says "stay over there"
  4. what do you get if you cross an octopus with a scorpion? A freeze on your funding, and an immediate visit from the ethics committee.
  5. This Halloween on the East Coast I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween.
    Because we're gonna get rocked like a hurricane.
  6. What did Scorpion say when Sub-Zero wouldn't stop pining over his ex-girlfriend? Get Over Her!
  7. What do you get when you cross a poisonous viper and a giant scorpion? Probably what you deserve.
  8. So my friends and I were having a debate over Mortal Komabt We concluded Sub-Zero is definitely cooler than Scorpion
  9. Your mother is so ugly..... That when she fought Scorpion in Mortal Kombat, he yelled, "Get over there!"
  10. God created scorpions and he said... "I'm going combine spiders plus lobsters plus wasps plus nightmares! Good luck!"

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Scorpion One Liners

Which scorpion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with scorpion? I can suggest the ones about scuba and lizard.

  1. How did Scorpion console Sub-Zero when he broke up with his girlfriend? GET OVER HER!!
  2. What did Scorpion tell his friend after he was dumped? GET OVER HER!
  3. Yo mommas so ugly.. Scorpion said
  4. Yo mama's so ugly... Scorpion yelled "STAY OVER THERE!"
  5. What do scorpions do in a race? They venom.
  6. You mama is so ugly... Even Scorpion from Mortal Combat says: "Stay over there!"
  7. Your mom is so ugly Scorpion told her "STAY OVER THERE!"
  8. What did scorpion say to your ugly mum Stay oveerrr there
  9. Your momma is so ugly Your momma is so ugly that Scorpion says "Get away from me"
  10. You're so ugly, Scorpion be like, "Stay over there!"
  11. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being r**... by a giant scorpion..
  12. I'll always remember waking up swole s**... scorpion. . .
  13. What's worse than stepping on a pile of horse manure? Getting r**... by a giant scorpion.
  14. What's worse than rainy days? Getting r**... by a giant scorpion.
  15. I s**... a scorpion in the vacuum cleaner the other day Another one bites the dust

Scorpion joke, I s**... a scorpion in the vacuum cleaner the other day

Comical & Quirky Scorpion Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about scorpion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean snake bite jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make scorpion pranks.

Why I Joined the Air Force

The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question.
What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?
A sailor said, I'd step on it.
A soldier said, I'd squash it with my boot.
A marine said, I'd catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.
An Airman said. I'd call room service and find out why there's a tent in my room.

A soldier finds a scorpion in his tent...

In the Marines, he kills the scorpion.
In the Army, he calls his CO and reports the presence of the scorpion.
In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there's a tent in his room.

officer Training School

Members of the 4 British Armed Services are completing an exam for Officer Training.
QUESTION: You're on a survival course & upon returning to your tent, you discover a scorpion.
What do you do?
NAVY answers: I would gingerly pick it up & throw it out of the tent.
ARMY answers: I would stomp it & throw it out of my tent.
MARINE answers: I would stomp it, eat it & then go to sleep.
AIRFORCE answers: I would call Room Service & ask WHY there is a tent in my Hotel Room.

A man dies and goes to h**... where he finds himself in the middle of a tour.

The tour guide walks them to a room of people covered in scorpions and says- Here is where all of the Catholics go. He then takes them to a room where all of the people are burning alive- This is where all of the baptists go. He then walks the group into a beautiful valley where children are running and playing with smiles on their faces. Furious, the tour guide grabs his phone, makes a call and yells- The d**... mormons are irrigating again.