Scored Jokes

What are some Scored jokes?

I scored a 175 on an IQ test with just 3 simple questions

1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate

I did an exam on marijuana and ballistic weaponry.

Scored high on the first part, but bombed the second.

Lord of the Bow

So I was telling my friend about my prowess with a bow and arrow yesterday. I said "my best round ever didn't start so well, I only scored 1 point with each of my first two arrows. Got better after that, scored 2 with the next, then 3, then 5. On my 12th and final arrow I managed to score 144."

She was quick to point out that this was impossible, so I had to confess it was a fibbin' archery sequence.

I scored 47/46 for my test.

It was a chromosomes test.

Why don't they allow lesbians to play baseball?

When they get to third base they think they've scored

Two equally well-qualified men applied for the same job...

The manager, at a loss of what to do, decided to give them a written test. After time was up, both men handed the test to the manager, who went to his office. He promptly returned, and told the two men that they had both scored a 9/10 on the test, getting the same problem wrong. He then shook the first guy's hand, granting him the job.

The second guy protested, "Why are you giving him the job?! We both got one wrong; give us another test!"

"That's true," the manager replied. "But on the one you both got wrong, the other guy wrote, 'I don't know.' You wrote, 'Me neither.'"

A woman wakes her husband up at 2 AM, saying

"Quick, who's scored the highest number of goals in football, ever?"

"Klose", replied the groggy husband.

"And how many episodes of Breaking Bad are there in total?"

"Huh? Wait, let me...55, no, 62, there's 62 total episodes" he replied.

"Who was that girl in that 'Saved by the Bell' show, Kapowski?"

"Tiffani Thiessen, played Kelly Kapowski"

"And also, when'd that new girl, Sandy, move downstairs again?"

"Two months next Wednesday. What's going on honey?" asked the husband, now irritated.

"Yesterday was my birthday."

So there was this soccer game....

One day, there were a group of turtles and skunks that decided to play a friendly soccer game. However this soccer game was painful to watch; the turtles were slow, and the skunks just flat out stunk.

The skunks were down a man so they got a centipede to play at the last minute. Now most of the game has gone by and it's been an awful game since no one was able to score. So the coach of the skunks put the centipede in as a last resort. Surprisingly, the centipede scored right away.

So the coach says, "centipede, where have you been all game?"

The centipede replied, "I was putting on my shoes."

Bubba applied to work for the FBI

Bubba was not a smart man by any stretch of the imagination, but he very much wanted to work for the FBI. He took a trip up to Washington to take the admissions test, and after the test was scored, the agent in charge pulled Bubba aside.

He said, "Son, this may well be the worst I've ever seen anyone do on this test. I'm sorry, but it doesn't look to me like you know a thing about criminology or history, which are critical to this line of work. You didn't even spell FBI correctly! I mean, can you even tell me who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Bubba thought for a moment, then shook his head. The agent continued, "All right do this. Go home, study, and if you come back up here and can tell me who killed Abraham Lincoln, I'll let you take the test again." Bubba agreed and took his return flight home.

When his friends asked, "How'd the FBI test go?" Bubba said "It went great! I've only been with the agency 12 hours and they've already got me on a murder case!"

So...Liverpool F.C. sign new striker...

A real new hot shot from Afghanistan, the new wonder kid.
He has his debut and scores a hatrick.
After the game he calls his mum and tells her the good news.
"Mum, Mum I scored three goals in my first game!"

His mum replies..."Son that's all very good but I have some bad news."

"Over the Weekend, your father was shot by a sniper, your sister raped, and I was robbed whilst shopping"

"Oh Mum I am so so sorry" the son says...
"SORRY!!!! It's your fault we moved to Liverpool" shouts the mother.

IQ result

Psych Admin: "Sir, your IQ results are in, you scored 91."

Me: "Wow, my first A+"

A Spaniard & a Russian were chatting up a woman at a bar

The Spaniard made many passes but it was the Russian who scored.

Chewbacca's son enters his first hockey season

Chewbacca's son enters his first hockey season this year. With his impressive skating abilities and the number of goals he scored...

Its no wonder he won the wookie of the year award.



Sorry.

Which country have scored the most world cup goals?

The mongoals.

The score at the end of the 3rd quarter last night was 56-0.

Atlanta felt so bad about what they were doing to the Bucs that they walked off the field at the start of the 4th.

4 plays later Tampa Bay finally scored.

For the final piece of coursework in my art diploma, I used my knife to cut a line across Mr Hamill and Mr Wahlberg just after they'd finished eating.

I scored full Marks.

I'm an Asian male who scored a 2300 on the SAT

I still don't know if i met my parents' expectASIANs.

What did the teacher say when a shrubbery scored an 81.8% on the quiz?

Bush did 9/11

How to make Scored jokes?

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