Following is our collection of funny Scientists jokes. There are some scientists mathematicians jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these scientists rocket scientist puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
...so powerful that if you are detected to be lying, it you immediately drop dead.
They bring around three test subjects. The first one, an Irishman, is hooked to the machine. He says, "I think I don't drink" and the next moment, he's dead. Next, it's the Asian's turn. She says, "I think I'm a good driver" and what do you know! She too is killed instantly. Then the blonde walks up and confidently begins,"I think—" and drops dead.
that goes forward a second if someone swears near it.
So for testing they put them in army barracks of England, France and Russia. After a while they go and check on clocks.
In England clock is 2 second forward. In France clock is 30 seconds forward. They now visit Russia and see that clock is missing.
They ask nearby solider :"What happened to the clock?".
Solider replies : "We didn't need that fan in here."
How many scientists does it take to build a time machine?
The bartender pours them both hydrogen peroxide because he's tired of their bullshit every day
Muslim scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the dark ages.
They're calling it 'Islam'.
Stephen Hawking
He's 0K right now.
The results speak for themselves.
... they are calling them "parallelograms".
You can explore scientists geneticists reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean scientists chloride dad jokes. There are also scientists puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
"I'll have H2O," says the first.
"I'll have H2O, too," says the second.
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.
... but then they realized No Man's Sky was invented already.
Periodically...
I'm just wondering, does that mean that *one* other person enjoys it?
"This is a repost."
The first one says, "I'd like some H2O."
The second says, "And I'll have some H2... wait. Why aren't you just referring to water by its normal name? I mean, I know it's our job, but we're just getting a drink."
The first scientist slams the table angrily, for his assassination scheme had been foiled.
The first scientist says "I'll have h2o"
The second scientist says "I'll have a water"
The first scientist goes back home and rethinks his assassination plan.
Bullshit, I tried it and now I'm 15Kg heavier and diabetic
The element of suprise
Scientists are scratching their heads.
They call it Mars.
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
but if we worked really hard, we can do it by the end of 2017
A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.
just five more minutes
The first one says, "I'll have a glass of H2O".
The second one says, "I'll also have a glass of water. We are not at work right now, why are you referring to it like that?"
The first scientist goes into the bathroom and weeps, for his murder plan had failed.
A scientist yelled at a crab and it ran away. Then he cut of its legs and yelled at it again. And suddenly the crab didn't run away anymore.
Fizzyscists
The second one says, "I'll also have a glass of water. Why are you referring to it so strangely. We're not at work anymore."
The first scientist goes into the bathroom and cries. His assassination attempt has failed.
They cut off its legs and said "jump!"
The frog didn't jump.
Scientists therefore concluded that when frogs lose their legs, they become deaf.
But mathematicians are the only ones who count
Scientists still can't determine how much is needed for your mother though
Because they are more likely to be dead.
Because if they lifted the other one as well, they'd fall.
Oxytocin is known to increase erotic vocalizations during sex. Scientists believe that this may be an adaptation to help with pleasing their clients.
It's a very powerful whore-moan.
They've left no tern unstoned
If not, I won't be able to live with myself.
You have to be moderately smart to understand it...
Doctors are sending anyone with peekaboo straight to ICU.
Two scientists are playing Minecraft. One is new to the game and doesn't know much about it. At some point, he crafts a pickaxe, but doesn't know what to do with it, so he asks the more experienced scientist.
Scientist 1: Bro, what should I do with this pickaxe that I crafted?
Scientist 2: Br.
They have obviously never seen me wiping my ass when there is only one sheet of toilet paper left.
..scientists now conclude the greatest risk comes from assholes.
... Jim asks for a H20.
Dave asks why he ordered it like that, and Jim says that they're scientists and so should present themselves as such.
Dave replies "whatever, I'll have a water too".
Jim watches the bartender get Dave's drink, angry that his assassination attempt failed.
Turns out, the planet was once occupied by Nestle
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
They want something CRISPR.
The Nazis had taken all three scientists to the woods and lined them up on their knees with their hands on their head. They were about to be executed.
The Nazis aim their guns, and the biologist screams "bear". The Nazis turn around expecting a bear, but none was there. The biologist had escaped the Nazis.
So they aim their guns again and the physicist yells "lightning". Again, the Nazis turn around to look for lightning but don't see any. The physicist had now escaped.
With just the chemist left, the Nazis aim their guns and the chemist yells "fire!".
Scientists attempted to demonstrate it in public, but it was immediately shot by the police.
Turns out when exposed to pollen, bees develop hives
I'll have H20 says the 1st.
I'll have H20, too says the 2nd.
The bartender doesn't have a clue what they want because he flunked out of high school, and started working at a bar.
Its cause DEC 25 = OCT 31
So they called it a day
It's a Pierre to Pierre network.
Scientist 1: I'll have H2O.
Sceintist 2: I'll have H2O too.
The second scientist dies.
Fission chips
They have discovered that the frog was:-
30% Russian
30% French
20% Italian
10% Spanish
5% British
4% Dutch
And a tad Pole...!
The planet resonates at a low B note. However if you were flying away in a space ship the frequency would drop due to the doppler effect, and the Earth would B flat.
Infertility is hereditary. So, if your parents didn't have kids, then neither will you.
Scientists.
They reject H0s all the time.
It's a bi-polar bipolar bi polar bear
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the scientists humans jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working scientists computer scientist piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.