Scientist And Engineer Jokes
29 scientist and engineer jokes and hilarious scientist and engineer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scientist and engineer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Scientist And Engineer Short Jokes
Short scientist and engineer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The scientist and engineer humour may include short engineer and mathematician jokes also.
- How do you tell the difference between a Computer Scientist, a Computer Engineer, and a Chemical Engineer? Ask them what PCB means.
- Scientists are making a big show about this new crop of Okra they engineered to not give you gas... It's called Okra Windfrey.
- Whats the difference between Scientists and Engineers? Scientists use complex formulas to solve the problem, and engineers use duct tape.
- TIL Italian scientists in the 1920's discovered they could power engines with common herbs and spices Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.
- A scientist and an engineer walk into a bar... The scientist says "I'll have some H2O."
The engineer says "I'll have H2O, too."
The engineer dies. - None, building it is a job for engineers. How many scientists does it take to build a time machine?
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Scientist And Engineer One Liners
Which scientist and engineer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with scientist and engineer? I can suggest the ones about engineer and doctor and engineer.
- Mechanical engineers They're not rocket scientists but they are sprocket scientists.
- What do you call someone who is bigoted against scientists and engineers? Anti-STEMitic
- A group of scientists and engineers were having a party when 5 girls walked in...
- what do you call a mad scientist? An engine who's seen a hospital.
Scientist And Engineer Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about scientist and engineer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mathematician physicist engineer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make scientist and engineer pranks.
The wage gap isn't real.
Men simply focus on getting the higher paying jobs like scientist, doctor, engineer. Meanwhile, women tend to go towards the lower paying jobs, like female scientist, female doctor and female engineer.
I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs…
If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
What's the difference between a mad engineer and a mad scientist?
The mad engineer builds an efficient, well-desined death ray and destroys the world in one blow.
The mad scientist builds his death ray and divides the world into three randomised groups: an experimental group to be killed, a control group to be spared and a group that is told they are dead to account for the placebo effect.
Four students are having a problem with their car...
Four students are having a problem with their car and are forced to stop on the side of the road.
"The ignition is damaged" says the electrical engineer.
"The fuel pipe is clogged" says the chemist.
"Engines is damaged" says the engineer.
"Lets just get out of the car and get in again" says the computer scientist.
A Scientist, Inventor, and Engineer
A Scientist, Inventor, and Engineer are tasked with solving a major world problem. The Scientist does the research and makes a discovery that the Inventor then uses to invent the thing that will solve the problem. The engineer refines the invention until it is ready for operation. Their solution is a huge success and very profitable. Who makes all the money?
The businessman.
What is the difference between a scientist, an engineer and a technician?
The scientist does it the best way.
The engineer does it the way that works.
The technician wonders about their definition of "Best" and "Works"
A group of scientists and engineers teamed up to create the best and more responsive set of Breaks and Tires. That's like 120 km/h to 0 km/s in 2 seconds...
... now they need to create the strongest windshield.
Conjecture: All odd numbers are prime.
Mathematician's Proof:
3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. By induction, all odd numbers are prime.
Physicist's Proof:
3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. 9 is experimental error. 11 is prime. 13 is prime ...
Engineer's Proof:
3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. 9 is prime. 11 is prime. 13 is prime ...
Computer Scientists's Proof:
3 is prime. 3 is prime. 3 is prime. 3 is prime...
an engineer, a scientist, a mathematician, and a sheep
A engineer, a scientist, and a mathematician are riding through Scotland on a train. Looking out the window they see a black sheep.
"Who knew that Scottish sheep were black?!" exclaims the engineer.
"Now, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves," admonished the scientist. "All we know is that one sheep in Scotland is black."
At this point the mathematician pipes up: "Hey, both of you are jumping to conclusions. All we really know is that one SIDE of one sheep in Scotland is black.
A man brings 3 scientists into a large room...
...a biologist, an engineer, and a physicist. In corner of the room is an elephant, and nothing else. The man tells the scientists "If you can correctly identify this animal, I will give you $50,000". He lets each of the scientists examine the animal, and then separates them.
The man first asks the biologist, "What is this animal?". The biologist responds "That is an African Elephant, *Loxodonta africana*". The biologist takes his $50,000 and leaves.
The man then asks the engineer, "What is this animal?". The engineer responds "That is an elephant, but lets say two elephants to be sure". The engineer takes his $50,000 and leaves.
The man finally asks the physicist, "What is this animal?". The physicist says "Well, let's first assume its a perfect sphere in a vacuum..."
Math Joke
The "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers, scientists, and teachers can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."
This theorem can now be proved by mathematics based on the two postulates:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As any engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
Since: Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money
Then: Knowledge = Work / Money.
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.
Salary Theorem: The less you know, the more money you'll earn (PROVEN INSIDE!)
Salary Theorem states that Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People.
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.
As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time
Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion:
The less you know, the more you make.
A chemical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip...
A chemical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip when all of a sudden their car breaks down. They pull over to the side of the road and start hypothesizing what is wrong. The chemical engineer says "It's probably something wrong with the catalytic converter." The mechanical engineer says "It's probably something wrong with the engine." The computer scientist says "Let's get out, get back in, and see if it starts!"
A biologist, a physicist, and an engineer are on a plane that crashes...
...and luckily they are washed up on a deserted island, along with several crates of canned food. However, no can opener washes up with them, and there is nothing sharp on the island, so the three scientists must figure out how to open the cans.
The biologist sticks the can in the water, saying, "The salt water should eat through the metal, allowing us to get to the food inside."
When this doesn't work, the physicist takes his thick glasses and holds them between the sun and the can, saying, "By focusing the sun on the can, we can burn through the metal and get to the food inside." But this doesn't work either.
The engineer picks up a can and stares at it for several minutes before saying, "Now, if we start by assuming the can is already open..."
the fowled experiment
scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
british engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. arrangements were made. but when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cab.
horrified the britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
NASA's response was just three words, "thaw the chicken".