Scientific Jokes

110 scientific jokes and hilarious scientific puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scientific that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Pack your lab coat and get ready to laugh at these scientific jokes! From classic chemistry puns to astronomy jokes about Jupiter and beyond, there's something for everyone! Plus, get some laughs and brush up on your knowledge of the scientific method, scientific notation, laboratory discoveries, and more.

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Funniest Scientific Short Jokes

Short scientific jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The scientific humour may include short science jokes also.

  1. Accordion to scientific studies, 90% .. of people do not realise I replaced the beginning of this joke with a musical instrument.
  2. What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus? A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
  3. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and an Elephant? A letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and a withdrawl of your grant money.
  4. It has been scientifically proven that women with few pounds extra tend to live a lot longer than... who point that out.
  5. The scientific term for lazy eye is atchaphoria. One eye is looking atcha and the other is looking phoria.
  6. Teach a human to fish and you'll feed them for a lifetime... Teach a fish to human and you've got a scientific breakthrough.
  7. It's scientifically proven that birthdays are good for your health. The more of them you have, the longer you live.
  8. It has been scientifically proven that birthdays are good for your health.... The more of them you have, the longer you live!
  9. What do you call a scientific talk about the psychological impact of cannibalism? A Hannibal Lecture.
  10. I recently learned that anecdotal evidence is not scientifically valid A few friends told me how badly it went for them.

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Scientific One Liners

Which scientific one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with scientific? I can suggest the ones about biology and physics.

  1. What is the scientific name for anti-vaxxers during a pandemic? The control group.
  2. Smoking is a scientific wonder! It kills people, but cure salmon.
  3. What do you call a meeting of 72 virgins? A scientific conference
  4. What is the scientific name of a Weeping Willow? Mourning Wood
  5. What is the favorite scientific unit of the French? RPM ( Revolutions Per Minute )
  6. Did you here about the anti-vaxer with legit scientific evidence? Yeah, me neither
  7. What is the scientific name for the fear of the chainsaws? Common sense.
  8. What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other? The family tree.
  9. What happens when you assign a feminist a scientific classifier? You get nomenclature.
  10. What's the scientific term for an owl's beak? Hoo nose
  11. The scientific community has finally agreed to rename the planet Uranus to Urmama
  12. It's been scientifically proven ants can't get Covid-19 They have little antibodies
  13. Why are there Religious holidays but no Scientific holiday? Because Science always works.
  14. Why was Al Gore scientifically a great dancer? Because of his Al Gore Rythyms.
  15. What does Dr. Oz do when you throw scientific evidence at his head? Ducks like a quack.

Scientific Studies Jokes

Here is a list of funny scientific studies jokes and even better scientific studies puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A scientific study determined that married men live longer. A subsequent study found that it only seemed longer.
  • There was a scientific study showing that bearded men are more attractive... ...than bearded women.
  • I was part of a scientific study on the calming effects of listening to the Three Tenors. I felt great, but was in the control group. It turns out I was listening to Placebo Domingo.
  • A new scientific study regarding pizza determines who is most susceptible to burns. Turns out it is the Hipsters because they eat it before it's cool.
  • A recent scientific study showed that women could hold the smartest gene... But 99.9% of them choose to spit it out
  • Science! A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.
  • What is the difference between SETI and Donald Trump? One has demonstrated the scarcity of intelligent life in the universe, and the other is a scientific study of extra terrestrials.
  • A recent scientific study found that 95% of all homosexuals are indeed born that way.... The other 5% just get s**... into it.
  • A scientific study recently discovered that six out of seven dwarves aren't happy They're Bashful, d**..., Grumpy, Sleepy, Sneezy, and Doc

Scientific Research Jokes

Here is a list of funny scientific research jokes and even better scientific research puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • New scientific research finds a link between blood type and happiness. The best blood type for happiness? B positive.
  • Scientific research has proven that 90% of highschool students don't pay attention in class Other 10% don't come to school
  • I was doing some scientific research on the House of Hapsburgs and I have now discovered The Theory of General Relativity.
  • An agnostic researcher has finally hit upon scientific proof that the Eucharist is the Body of Christ. After munching thoughtfully on the host for a few seconds, he concluded that it is indeed Chuy.
Scientific joke, An agnostic researcher has finally hit upon scientific proof that the Eucharist is the Body of Chris

Scientific Evidence Jokes

Here is a list of funny scientific evidence jokes and even better scientific evidence puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The state of public toilets is scientific evidence that doing something 10 000 times doesn't make you good at it. It's even peer reviewed.

Some Scientific Jokes

Here is a list of funny some scientific jokes and even better some scientific puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you get when you cross a lion with an octopus? A stern rebuke from the scientific community and a immediate withdrawal of funding
  • My friend always wants to talk about the scientific principle of buoyancy. It's not interesting to me, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
  • What do get if you cross a Kangaroo with an Elephant? A stern letter from the scientific ethics committee.
  • Did you know there is a scientific reason why birds typically fly in uneven V formations? Because they can't count.
  • TIL there's a scientific term for aquatic mammals losing their fur through evolution It's called Whale Pattern Baldness.
  • Doctors have come up with a more scientific and more accurate name for cabin fever... Stuck Home Syndrome
  • You know, I heard listening to Queen has been scientifically proven to give people autism. Apparently because of the unusually high Mercury content.
  • I can't stand people believing in astrology. Sorry, but we Pisceans are logical and scientific.
  • I won a scentific reward today! I actually made a helpful contribution to humanity! the scientific community has rewarded my work!
    I can't wait to display this new "darwin award" I got!
  • A scientific joke Q: Why are Curium, Helium, and Barium the medical elements?
    A: Because if you can't Curium or Helium them, you Barium!
Scientific joke, A scientific joke

Quirky and Hilarious Scientific Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about scientific you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean theory jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make scientific pranks.

What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees?

A graduated cylinder.
This is the only joke I've ever thought of.

I hear scientists have recently started using lawyers as opposed to rats for scientific experiments...

They do this for two reasons;
One, The scientists become less attached to the lawyers.
And two, there are certain things that even *rats* won't do.
(This is a joke from the film, **Hook**. I never realized how funny it was)

Recent Scientific Discovery: Diarrhea Is Genetic.

It runs in your genes.

What is the scientific measurement for moistness?


scientific joke

Scientists were playing hide and seek. Einstein was seeker.
Amongst the other scientists, Newton did not hide and stood in a 1 meter square.
Einstein: I found you Newton, I-spy
Newton: I am not Newton, as I am standing in 1 mtr square, I am newton per meter square: I am Pascal

Typos change everything

Mollahs wanted to bring the scientific method to Iran, but then someone in the process mistyped "trial and error" into "rial and t**..."

Why God never got a PhD

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from
the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

Scientists discover first gay dinosaur...

Its official scientific name is Megasaurass

I absolutely, unequivocally support any and all scientific efforts to create a real, working invisibility cloak.

I just want to make myself crystal clear.

The Chinese recently made a scientific discovery.

They discovered a louse so small that it lives on the back of the common housefly.
It's a remarkable discovery, but it's gone completely unnoticed because nobody thinks it odd that the Chinese are raving about their fly lice.

My girlfriend has a fire c**....

Or as it's scientifically known, "Chlamydia".

What do you call a rational scientific m**...?

An Oxymormon

Scientific research recently revealed....

Evidence that female hormones are present in beer. A group of men were given six pints of beer each. One hundred percent of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing and refused to apologize when wrong.

Did you know there's a food that's scientifically proven to kill a woman's s**... drive?

Wedding Cake.

What is the scientific name of the swan?

Biggus duckus

I've been reading a scientific paper on the effects of group m**...

It's rather long so I need someone to help me finish.

Isaac Newton died a v**.... That means I have one up on history's greatest scientific genius.

Because I'm not dead.

Goodbye, boiling water...

you will be mist
**Disclaimer: Not scientifically accurate**

It is a proven Scientific fact, that things expand when under immense heat...

I'm not fat, I'm really hot

A questionable article on marine biology goes viral.

"**New study reveals migrating Crows' droppings may be responsible for great barrier barrier reef bleaching**"
The article receives widespread criticism from the scientific community. Marine biologists across the globe insist that coralation does not imply Cawsality.

A little girl asks her mom where babies come from.

The mom has been preparing for this so she explains the process using scientifically correct terms but in a way the young girl can understand. Afterwards she asks, "Do you have any questions?"
The little girl thinks for a few seconds and then says, "How does the daddy's s**... get into the mommy? Does she s**... it?"
"Sometimes," says the mom, "If she really wants some new jewelry."

Do you know what the scientific term is for injecting disinfectant?


A New Scientific Study on Vaccines

A new scientific study came out recently proving a correlation between vaccines and adults with autism.
The reason given to this correlation was the children without vaccines died before becoming adults

There is a scientific unit called a b**...-load

But they don't use it for s**...

Isaac Newton died a v**..., which means I have a one-up on one of history's greatest scientific genuises

Because I'm not dead.

Two Polish Rocket Scientists Announce to the World They're Going to the Sun in a Spaceship

The entire world wide scientific community swiftly points out that the Sun is too hot for such a journey and they'd quickly burn up to which they replied very smugly: "Ah SEE! We've thought of this and have a plan!.....We're going at NIGHT!"
I do not mean to offend anyone and my apologies to the Polish, I grew up in the '60's with a mix of Russian, Czech, Hungarian, Pole parents, relatives and friends and this is mild to the s**... we dealt ourselves and friends back then. ;)


I was trimming my nails when my Grandfather said with a sigh "You should not cut your nails on Thursdays".
I had never adhered to these superstition but out of curiosity I asked, "What happens when I cut my nails on Thursday?"
He explained, "You see the weekend starts tomorrow Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's difficult to open the beer cans and the Lays packs without the nails."
Moral: Some superstitions do have a scientific basis!

A man stormed into the Doctor's office

A man stormed into the doctor's office full of excitement. He grabbed the doctor's hand and pumping it furiously, exclaimed Doc, I just want to thank you and tell you how your treatments have improved my life! The bold way that incorporate new scientific breakthroughs with traditional holistic has made all the difference, Thank you!
The doctor, amazed and confused, stammered Thank you, but you're not one of my patients..
I know, said the man, but my uncle was and I'm his only heir!!

What's the scientific name of a f**... molecules?


Issac Newton died a v**...

Issac Newton died a v**..., this means I am one up on biggest scientific genius..
I am not dead yet.

Scientific joke, What's the scientific term for an owl's beak?

jokes about scientific