Science Teacher Jokes

66 science teacher jokes and hilarious science teacher puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about science teacher that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Science Teacher Short Jokes

Short science teacher jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The science teacher humour may include short biology teacher jokes also.

  1. A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago: Why are bacteria so bad at math?
    Because they multiply by dividing.
    RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots.
  2. My health science teacher told me to write a 1,000 word essay on drugs The paper became a taco and the floor was melting.
  3. My science teacher told us this James Bond says to a chicken, "I'm Bond, James Bond." The chicken turns and says, "Well I'm Ken, Chic-ken."
    I'll see myself out...
  4. A science teacher was teaching his students how to convert from pounds to kilograms. There was mass confusion in the classroom.
  5. Classic. I'd be surprised if this was not posted already. One afternoon the teacher asked the Johnny Can you explain what oxidation is? He replied No my science is a little rusty.
  6. The other day a girl asked me if I like b**... or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed p**... with thin lips... So I got kicked out of KFC.
  7. Yesterday, my computer science teacher was teaching us about for-loops... ... he said it was a *for n* concept.
  8. A computer science teacher asks the class to turn to page 404. The students search feverishly, to no avail
  9. The Teacher tells her class: Your science test was terrible. 32% of you got an F. A blonde student shouts in anger: That can't be right, there's not even 20 of us in the class!"
  10. a funny¿ science joke my teacher said i had potential
    than pushed me off the building

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Science Teacher One Liners

Which science teacher one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with science teacher? I can suggest the ones about physics teacher and science student.

  1. At my school there's a rapper named MC Squared The science teacher just calls him E
  2. My science teacher use to always tell me... You matter.
  3. What do you call a creepy Computer Science teacher? A PDF file
  4. What does a vegetarian science teacher study? Cole's Law.
  5. My science teacher caught me drinking alcohol well it is a solution
  6. My science teacher asked me if I liked sodium I said Na.
  7. Teachers can be funny sometimes, even science teachers. Periodically, that is.
  8. My science teacher taught us about gravity today. It was such a heavy subject to take...
  9. Did you hear about the dyslexic science teacher? He was teaching the Law of Conversation.
  10. I didnt really like my science teacher There was no chemistry between us.
  11. my science teacher taught us about pathogens... he was not a "fun guy"
    think about it
  12. Why did the lazy science teacher break up with his girlfriend? There was no chemistry.

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Science Teacher Jokes

What funny jokes about science teacher you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chemistry teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make science teacher pranks.

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life.

It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life.

It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes, the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, four minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?" After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life.

It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

One day, a young boy was asked by his teacher to tell him what the chemical formula for water was.

The boy replied with "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O".
The Teacher was stunned. "That's not right, how did you come up with that?"
The boy said, "Last week you said it was H2O!"

Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: "Who can tell me which o**... of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"
Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. "Mary, can you tell me which o**... of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"
Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "How dare you ask such a question?" she says. "I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!"
Mrs. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted.
She asks the class the question again, and this time Sam raises his hand.
"Yes, Sam?" says Mrs. Sampson.
"Ma'am, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye."
"Very good, Sam. Thank you."
Mrs. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have 3 things to tell you: first, it's clear that you have not done your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed."

Sugar and s**... (true story)

During a Science class...
Teacher: Human s**... has sugar as one of his main ingredients.
Female student: Teacher, if it has sugar why it's not sweet?
Teacher: because the area that detects sweetness is the tongue, not the t**....

Bad Science Joke

A high school science teacher is ordering supplies for his class online, but he can't find one particular compound. So he calls the store. "Excuse me sir," says he, "But do you by chance carry Sodium Bromate?" The store owner replies, "Na-BrO"

Only a matter of time

A science teacher was teaching her class about the sun. In 5 billion years, she said, our sun is going to expand and become a red giant, and all life on earth will die out from the intense heat. All of a sudden a little boy starts crying. What's wrong? she asked, It's not for another five billion years!
Oh, replied the boy, wiping the tears from his eyes, I thought you said million.

The teacher in science class asks Little Johnny...

"Why do African American people have yellow eyes?"
Johnny , a little confused , waits for a moment , before replying back, "OH , i know! it's from all the pepper spray!"

A mountain was next to another mountain..

An earthquake happens and one of the mountains say..
"It wasn't my fault!"
credit to my awesome science teacher

What is the unit of power?

That's a statement not a question. My science teacher uses it quite a lot,so I thought I'd share

Good morning class, science is our lesson for today.

Teacher: What is science?
Student: Me Ma'am! Me!
Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science?
Student: science is our Lesson for today.

Every day at my 4 PM computer science class that the teacher is late to...

"4:04 teacher not found"

What did the science teacher say when the kid was experimenting with magnets?

"May the force be with you"

Phantom energy

So, our science teacher was teaching us about phantom energy. At one point of the lesson, he puts his phone on the counter and says; "If I leave my phone here it will eventually die."
After a little pause I hear another student whisper and say; "Same with children".

An elementary school student gets gum stuck in his hair...

So the nurse takes him to the science teacher and say "Can you get the gum out of his hair?"
The science teacher responds "Of course, its just a matter of having the right solvent."
An hour later the nurse asks the science teacher "Have any luck?"
The science teacher responds "Yes, here's the gum back."

I'm not saying my acne was bad at school, but when one boy asked the science teacher how many planets there were in the galaxy...

The teacher said, "Less than there are on his face."

So my science teacher began her astronomy unit with star formation

She gave a stellar explanation.

A science teacher asked his class "Would you like to hear a Chemistry joke?"

They said "Na"

He deserves an accolade at least.

Teacher: What do we call the science of classifying things?
My Kid: RACISM, because Dad always emphasises on it.

None of my friends seemed very impressed when I told them I hooked up with my high school science teacher.

I swear it is so much harder trying to fit in when you are homeschooled.


A science teacher is quizzing the class on various units and measurements.
What is the unit of volume?
What is the unit of mass?
What is the unit of distance?
What is the unit of power?
(I know, it works a bit better spoken)

I hate when people talk about science even when they know nothing about it

Like my science teacher.

Physics Teacher's Story

Speed and Velocity are brothers.
Velocity went to college and got a science degree with which he's earning a six figure salary.
Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents in their basement.
Speed lacks Direction.

A hot student was getting bad grades in science.

His teacher agreed to give him good grades based on his performance in the bedroom.
They go to the teachers house the next week and have a night of passion.
The student completely flunked the tests but got good grades in chemistry and physics.
He asks why those two and not biology as well.
"Well, the chemistry was definitely there and you were so good with the pushing and pulling"
"What about biology?"
"Well let's just say there's a new carbon based being inside of me thanks to you"

We're studying 'light' in science class and the teacher asks if she's clear

No ma'am, you're opaque.

Heard this one during a real science lecture two years ago.

"In the event of a tornado, you will want to hide in a safe spot." said the teacher. "A good place to hide would be one with the least number of windows. So where should you hide?"
One of the intellectuals thinks for a moment and then raises his hand. The teacher calls on him.
"You should hide outside!"
P.S: In the event of a tornado, hide in a basement, closet or bathroom. Don't die.

The science teacher is in trouble for slapping his student

The parents phones says "I'm sending two coppers right now to charge you with battery."
He says "You can't charge a battery with two coppers. You need a copper and a zinc."

Four teachers are talking in the staffroom

The English teacher said: "I had a particularly dim pupil today ask me what came after 'F', I made sure be kind when I told him it was 'G'"
The music teacher replied with "I think I taught the same boy, he must've been confused when I told him that naturally F sharp came after F."
The computer science teacher chimed in with "Interestingly I told him that 1 came after F since we're learning hex at the moment"
The PE teacher after quietly listening in sheepishly admits "I told him it's okay, you can always train to teach gym".

Average joke

3 teachers, Science, Auto shop, and Mathematics, go hunting together over their winter vacation. They come across an enormous 6 point buck. The science teacher who saw it first takes aim. He fires and misses by 3 feet to left. The auto shop teacher shoulders him asside and says, " this is how you do it!". He fires and misses 3 feet to the right. The math teacher jumps up and Screams, "we got him!".

A third-grade science teacher asks her students, "If you could have one substance in the world, what would it be?"

"I would have gold," says Harold. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Harold, "I could sell the gold and buy a fancy car."
"I would have platinum," says Susie. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Susie, "I could sell the platinum and buy two fancy cars."
"I would have hair," says Johnny. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Johnny, "my mom has a tiny s**... of hair between her legs, and you should see all the fancy cars outside our house!!!"

A PE teacher asks his students who they think the smartest teacher at the school is.

The students all answer with the science teachers.
The PE teacher says "No, it's me. I get paid the same as them and I get to play dodgeball all day."

jokes about science teacher