Science Jokes
154 science jokes and hilarious science puns to laugh out loud. Read science jokes about science that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Who says that science and humor can't coexist? In this sphere of atoms, equations, and theories, there is, surprisingly, a fertile ground for budding humor. This collection of sharp-witted and clever science jokes serves as the perfect catalyst to instigate laughter in labs, classrooms, and even casual conversations.
If you're a science teacher seeking to create a more engaging learning environment, a student wanting to add some levity amidst rigorous scientific masses, or just a science aficionado keen to share your love for the subject, these jokes are for you. Striking a balance between factual knowledge and comic effect, our selection of science humor aims to illustrate that even in the realm of serious study, there's always room for a good laugh!
Let's embark on this humorous adventure through the world of science – and remember, laughter is the best element on the periodic table of life.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Science Short Jokes
Short science jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The science humour may include short scientific jokes also.
- Why can't you combine religion and science? Because science gives us skyscrapers and airplanes,
Religion combines them together. - A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago: Why are bacteria so bad at math?
Because they multiply by dividing.
RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots. - Give a man an egg and he'll eat for a day Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you're taking science too far.
- A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts "your money or your life!"
The student keeps walking, and says "Sorry mate, I'm a computer science student. I don't have either". - When I die I'm going to donate my body to science. That's the only way I'll ever get into medical school.
- My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.
- A mugger holds a man at gunpoint and says, "Give me your wallet or you're science!" The man says, "Don't you mean history?"
The mugger yells, "Don't try to change the subject!" - There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer Science 0: Naming things
1: Cache invalidation
2: Off by one errors - My wife just told me she didn't understand the science behind cloning. I replied, "that makes two of us"
- Mike Pence doesn't believe in science But he wants to use electricity to turn fruits into vegetables
Share These Science Jokes With Friends
Science One Liners
Which science one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with science? I can suggest the ones about biology and physics.
- Science builds planes and skyscrapers but faith brings them together.
- I'm thinking of donating my body to science It's taking up too much space in the freezer.
- How do you hide money from a Republican? Put it in a science textbook.
- What do you call it when computer science majors make fun of each other? Cyber boolean
- According to Science Alcohol is a solution.
- At my school there's a rapper named MC Squared The science teacher just calls him E
- Science flies you to the moon Religion flies you into buildings
- In the word "scent", is the S or the C silent? Not even *sc*ience can explain that...
- What do you call the science dedicated to studying Uranus? Asstronomy
- I like telling science puns... Just to see the reaction...
- I have to resort to science dadjokes Because all the other good ones Argon.
- How do you get to a position of power in a science lab? Work over time
- Which Science-Fiction author is the best source of liquid mercury? HG Wells.
- What did the Arts major say to the Science major? Do you want fries with that?
- "I before E except after C." It's simple science.
Science Teacher Jokes
Here is a list of funny science teacher jokes and even better science teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My health science teacher told me to write a 1,000 word essay on drugs The paper became a taco and the floor was melting.
- My science teacher told us this James Bond says to a chicken, "I'm Bond, James Bond." The chicken turns and says, "Well I'm Ken, Chic-ken."
I'll see myself out... - A science teacher was teaching his students how to convert from pounds to kilograms. There was mass confusion in the classroom.
- Classic. I'd be surprised if this was not posted already. One afternoon the teacher asked the Johnny Can you explain what oxidation is? He replied No my science is a little rusty.
- The other day a girl asked me if I like b**... or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed p**... with thin lips... So I got kicked out of KFC.
- Yesterday, my computer science teacher was teaching us about for-loops... ... he said it was a *for n* concept.
- My science teacher use to always tell me... You matter.
- What does a vegetarian science teacher study? Cole's Law.
- A computer science teacher asks the class to turn to page 404. The students search feverishly, to no avail
- My science teacher caught me drinking alcohol well it is a solution
Computer Science Jokes
Here is a list of funny computer science jokes and even better computer science puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I majored in Politics, Computer Science, and Dance. Now I'm stuck writing al gore Rhythms.
- The girls in my computer science class are like the matrix All you see is a bunch of ones and zeroes
- Why did Steve Irwin fail his computer science class? String Arrays
- A programming joke There are three hard problems in computer concurrency. science. Cache invalidation, naming things, off-by-one errors, and
- I would talk about computer science... But it makes my mother board
- I'm teaching my white blood cells math and my red blood cells computer science Once they become STEM cells I am hoping to regrow a finger.
- Don't confuse your Google search with my computer scienc-- -- actually, never mind. It amounts to the same thing.
- I've decided I'm going to major in computer science and Japanese. I'm gonna master weeb design.
- Computer Science major walks into an English class The Professor says "Welcome to English 101".
The student panicks.
"What's wrong?" asks the Professor.
"I missed the first 4 English classes". - I wanted to study Computer Science but then I stopped... Turns out its just a sudo science.
Science Student Jokes
Here is a list of funny science student jokes and even better science student puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was teaching my science class about Pavlov. The students were laughing at the stupidity of the dogs.
Then the bell rang and they all got up and rushed to the canteen for lunch. - The Teacher tells her class: Your science test was terrible. 32% of you got an F. A blonde student shouts in anger: That can't be right, there's not even 20 of us in the class!"
- Me : what do you study? She : I'm science Student. Me : Can i ask a question? She : ask. Me : what is Newton's 3rd law? She : Listen, im a science student not a law student.
- What did the Arts student say to the Science student Why did I waste 3 years of my life?
- Why did the computer science student drop out? He just couldn't hack it.
- We need more women in science! said the feminist gender studies student...
- newton's law john:bro, do you know newton's third law ? ?
david: i'm a science student, not a law student !! - Good morning class, science is our lesson for today. Teacher: What is science?
Student: Me Ma'am! Me!
Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science?
Student: science is our Lesson for today. - Jack - Bro do you know newton's second law? Jhonny - I am a Science student bro! not a Law student.
- Arts>Science Just realised arts students can now pay for their college fees... if they specialise in electronics as well.
Science And Math Jokes
Here is a list of funny science and math jokes and even better science and math puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm fine with substitute teaching math, science.. even music. But art class is where I draw the line.
- Newton pushed against our understanding of science and math But science and math pushed back
- How physicists see other sciences: Biology: squishy physics
Geology: slow physics
Computer Science: virtual physics
Psychology: people physics
Chemistry: impure physics
Math: physics minus the units - Everyone in my class is arguing about science, And I'm just sitting here, maths debating.
- Why is an achievement in Mathematics greater than an achievement in any of the other sciences? Because for an achievement in math, you receive Abel whereas for science, you receive Nobel.
- The first day of school I signed up for English, Math, Science and Language. The rest, as they say, was History.
- What high-school has taught me? Science, English, Maths and a few other words.
- Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
- Who knows about math and science and is always close by? An engi-near!
Gather Around for Fun Science Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about science you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean technology jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make science pranks.
Science Joke
A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the violent ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked out into the waves. He was pulled under and never returned.
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked out to the ocean. He too, never returned.
The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote in his journal, "Physicist and Biologist both soluble."
Black sheep
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.
One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child.
Hear are sum morre punny science jokes
How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.
Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.
The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.
Chemistry puns Im in my element.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium
Ion-estly cant think of anymore... All the good ones Argon!
Edit 1 just thought of this.
What does Barium Cobalt and Nitrogen make?
BaCoN
They say there's no opinions in science
But I've seen people get real heated over thermochemistry
And they really melt down when you bring up nuclear engineering
Have you seen how twisted people get when it comes to DNA?
Cartography is the worst, people are just all over the map
You should see how hormonal people get about endocrinology
You can really feel the pressure in the room when someone brings up hydraulics.
Best science jokes
I need a great list of the dorkiest geekiest nerdiest science jokes ever. Here's one to start you off:
Why was Heisenberg a terrible lover? Because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy. And when he had the energy he didn't have the time
The Albino and the Black Sheep
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child.
The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Ok, ok, you no tell anyone, I no tell anyone."
Can anyone help me with starting a rocket science club at school?
I'm having trouble getting it off the ground.
I read recipe the same way I read science fiction.
I get to the end and think, "Well that's not gonna happen.".
When I die I want my body to be donated to science
...but more specifically, a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life.
One, day little Johnny asks his father,
"Daddy where do i come from?"
The mother and father, had been preparing for this, for a very long time.
"Well son, when a Man and a Woman love each-other very much..."
After explaining the details and science to his Son, who had a puzzled look on his face the Father turned to his child,
"Well son, does that answer your question?"
"Not really Susan from school told me she came from Italy."
I am completely outraged by JJ Abrahms saying the next Star Wars will have an openly gay character in his science fiction franchise
Star wars is Science Fantasy, not Science Fiction
A computer science student...
...was writing a note to his crush before lecture. The student next to him grabbed the note.
The first student tried to grab it back. You can't see that, it's private!
The second student protested, But we're in the same class
A young computer science student is on the phone with his father...
His father says: "so how have your classes been going?"
The son replies: "not bad. I did really well on my test on hexadecimal today! It was only worth fifteen points, but I'm still happy about it."
"Oh yeah? What grade did you get?"
"An F!"
What do you call a potato that becomes US President and silences the news, silences government agencies, silences government funded science and ends international treaties?
A dic-tater.
I came up with a science joke...
Why are people with diamond shoes so bad for the environment?
They have a big carbon footprint...
Degrees
The graduate with a science degree asks,
'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with that?'
Science and Religion have to coexist because science can make a bomb,
But you do need a religious person to set it off.
Our government leaders have obviously never played Civ....
If they had they would know that not investing in education science and the economy coupled with an unreasonably large military is a a good way to get worked over by Gandhi later in the game.
I was always told "i before e except after c"
It sounds weird but I guess it's just science
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mugger: Give me all your stuff or you're science!
Me: Don't you mean history?
Mugger: Don't try to change the subject!
I used to be a science major in college
I was going through an experimental phase
Did you hear about the science experiment where they successfully transferred human DNA into a dog?
They say the scientist spent too much time in the lab.
They said I couldn't drink my problems away...
But science says Alcohol is a solution.
Why do Flat-earthers deny science?
Because it challenges their world view.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I before E, except after C.
We ***feign agreeing***, but this ***foreign poltergeist*** of a rule is ***neither efficient*** nor smart- and ***therein*** lies the ***height*** of the issue. It's as if an ***ancient deity*** has influenced the ***zeitgeist*** of the people. We must remove the ***weight*** of this ***veil*** from ***their*** eyes, and ***forfeit*** the ***leisure*** of this ***weird*** and ***heinous*** rule from our ***science*** and ***leisure*** alike.
Top 10 most important sciences
10. It is
9. impossible
8. to rank
7. the importance
6. of science
5. because
4. all of them
3. are equally
2. important.
1. Physics
An alien walks into a human brain shop
Vendor: Welcome, unfortunately we are very limited on brains right now and there are only 2 available.
Alien: I'll take a look.
Vendor: Well, here's the brain of Albert Einstein. He was very intelligent and was the reason behind much of human science. This is priced at $2. Here is the brain of someone who has watched every single "Keeping up with the Kardashians" episodes ever. It's listed at $200.
Alien: Woah, you're trying to rip me off. Why is the brain of someone that dumb worth so much?
Vendor: Simple, because this brain hasn't been used before.
Did you hear that "I before E except after C" rule is obsolete?
It's been proven wrong by science.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Oh science, Oh science, Oh science!!
~ an atheist having s**...
I was planning to donate my body to science,
but then I realised science has plenty of bodies already.
So now I'm donating my brain to religion instead.
Physics Teacher's Story
Speed and Velocity are brothers.
Velocity went to college and got a science degree with which he's earning a six figure salary.
Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents in their basement.
Speed lacks Direction.
I came here to do two things: argue about science, and make sure my children don't get vaccinated.
And I'm all out of children...
What do you say to a female that studied gender science?
Could I have the burger with fries please?
Heard this one during a real science lecture two years ago.
"In the event of a tornado, you will want to hide in a safe spot." said the teacher. "A good place to hide would be one with the least number of windows. So where should you hide?"
One of the intellectuals thinks for a moment and then raises his hand. The teacher calls on him.
"You should hide outside!"
P.S: In the event of a tornado, hide in a basement, closet or bathroom. Don't die.
With all that's going on, I told my dad that finishing my degree in astrophysics may not be the kind of science the world needs right now.
He looked away from the TV long enough to say, "Black holes matter."
Sigh... "Yeah, Dad. They are."
What does the moon do when it needs a haircut?
Eclipse it.
Science Trivia: What's it called when you see colors in the air that aren't actually there?
A pigment of your imagination
What should you do when nobody laughs at your science jokes?
Keep trying until you get a reaction.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is learning linux s**...?
All of the lessons are full of sudo science
How do you call a Lada on top of a hill?
A miracle.
-
-
And how do you call _two_ Ladas on top of a hill?
-
Science fiction
-
-
But how do you call _three_ Ladas on top of a hill?
-
An interesting place for a Lada factory.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between science and religion? Science flies you to the moon
While Religion Flies You Into Buildings.
Average joke
3 teachers, Science, Auto shop, and Mathematics, go hunting together over their winter vacation. They come across an enormous 6 point buck. The science teacher who saw it first takes aim. He fires and misses by 3 feet to left. The auto shop teacher shoulders him asside and says, " this is how you do it!". He fires and misses 3 feet to the right. The math teacher jumps up and Screams, "we got him!".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A third-grade science teacher asks her students, "If you could have one substance in the world, what would it be?"
"I would have gold," says Harold. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Harold, "I could sell the gold and buy a fancy car."
"I would have platinum," says Susie. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Susie, "I could sell the platinum and buy two fancy cars."
"I would have hair," says Johnny. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Johnny, "my mom has a tiny s**... of hair between her legs, and you should see all the fancy cars outside our house!!!"
Did you know that Brian May, the guitarist from British rockband Queen, has a PhD on Astrophysics?
Yeah, he started his schooling before Queen formed, and achieved his PhD in 2007. One of his dissertations is heavily criticized by the science community though, and it's because he has an odd theory of what causes the Earth's rotation.
You see, he thinks that 'Fat Bottomed Girls make the Rockin World go round.'
"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
There's a University called the National University of Science and Technology
It's not called the National University of Technology and Science, because that would be NUTS.
The Story of Creation as told by Dog
On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.
"Science and religion don't mix," said the priests...
...in a desperate attempt to exclude the DNA evidence.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy named Bob dies and goes to h**...
Before him stands the Devil.
"Hello, Bob. Welcome to h**..." the Devil says. "Now there are seven levels of h**... and since your only sin was cheating on a science test in third grade, you'll be moved to level 1"
"Okay, that doesn't sound so bad" Says Bob
"Level 1 is the hottest level because heat rises. You would know that if you studied for your science test, Bob"
Albert Einstein was running 20 minutes late as a guest speaker at a science conference.
He finally arrived apologizing profusely.
Einstein: "I am so terribly sorry you all had to wait. Anyway, here's my presentation."
Host: "It's about time."
Einstein: "And space!"
