The Best 86 Schools Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Schools jokes. There are some schools education jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these schools dental school puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Schools Jokes and Puns

What's different about rap battles and American schools?

People usually don't cry at rap battles when there's shots fired.

White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do.

We do it in schools, because we have class.

Republicans are the true snowflakes...

they're white, they're cold, and if you put enough of em together they'll shut down public schools

EDIT* Thanks for the gold! You popped my gold cherry!

its a joke folks. just a joke.

Schools joke, Republicans are the true snowflakes...

We often criticize pedophiles...

but they, at least, drive slowly near schools.

I'm from the southern US, is it OK to poke fun at myself?

Why don't schools in the south teach Driver's Ed and Sex Ed on same day?

Too hard on the mule.

What do condoms and taxes have in common?

Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.


1. What kind of birds always stick together? VEL CROWS.

2. What is a spider's favorite thing to do? SURF THE WEB.

3. What goes around the cow but never moves? THE FENCE.

4. Why didn't cheddar cheese want to hang out with bleu cheese? BECAUSE HE HAD A MOLDY PERSONALITY.

5. Why do fish swim in schools? BECAUSE THEY CANT WALK IN SCHOOLS.

6. How do you catch a unique rabbit? YOU NIQUE UP ON IT.

Schools joke, Jokes/Puns!

What the best thing about pedophiles?

They always drive slowly near schools

Did you know that calculus was never taught in southern schools before the 1960s?

They didn't believe in integration.

New Drinking Age in Alabama

They raised the drinking age to 32 in Alabama to keep alcohol out of high schools.

Why do fish make you smart?

Because they're always in schools.

You can explore schools class reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean schools schooler dad jokes. There are also schools puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles....

But at least they drive slowly past schools

In a short-sighted rushed effort to reboot the iTouch product Apple decided to market it to schools. Apple named their new product iTouch Kids. It didn't go over well...

It did great in the 12-25 prison stint group though.

TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950's.

Apparently they opposed integration.

Pedophiles have kind of a bad reputation...

...but they drive slow near schools

Alabama changed the legal drinking age to 33.

They're trying to keep it out of high schools.

Schools joke, Alabama changed the legal drinking age to 33.

A high schooled student becomes a national hero after taking down a school shooter

But was expelled because of the schools zero tolerance policy

Alabama changed the drinking age to 34

They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools

Why do blonds have schools underwater.

Because deep down, they're not so stupid.

The US won gold in shooting

They have good schools for it

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

They have the best schools for it.

TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32.

It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

Why are pedophiles safe drivers?

They always slow down in front of kindergartens and schools!

a district administrator was offered a large bribe to fire some of the heads of his local schools

but he stuck by his principals

You can say what you want about pedophiles

...but at least they drive slowly around schools and playgrounds.

Fewer US schools are selling candy, soda and chips to students

After all, that stuff is horrible for pregnancies!

The legal age of drinking in Alabama has been changed to 31...

Representatives hope that it will keep underage drinking out of high schools

Why are schools red?

You would be too if you had 7 periods a day.

Many Americans would be surprised to know that we Europeans also have shooting ranges

They're called schools and children are sent there to learn

A blind kid named Stevie just changed schools...

And he was thinking about his old friends. Since he was blind, he never got to look at his friend, James, and he randomly thought, "Was James brown?"

After a little while, he realised he left before his friend, Marvin, came out and so he thought "Was Marvin gay?"

Needles to say, these questions really made Stevie wonder.

My son was kicked out of school when a girl came in and wanked him off...

I said, "Son, that's 3 schools already...

Maybe teaching isn't for you."

Wow, Donald Trump is President. I haven't seen Democrats this mad since....

...slavery was outlawed and the desegregation of public schools!

Schools should have a class designed for introverts...

*anti-social studies*

When i was your age everything was in black and white.

Schools, fountains, bathrooms, everything.

What do heroine and schools have in common?

You're not supposed to shoot up either.

I have a simple solution to promote higher education,

build taller schools.

I was arguing with friends over what school weighed the most.

One friend said high schools because the kids are older and weigh more.

Another said definitely colleges, not only do the students weigh more than high school students, there's so many more people.

I said you're both wrong, it's definitely Catholic schools, they have more mass.

My son got in trouble at school today

My son got in trouble at school today for letting a girl jack him off.

I said, "son that's three schools this year, maybe teaching isn't for you."

I told my Dad it'd be embarrassing to chaperone at my schools prom.

He said I'd do fine and thanks for hooking him up with the freshman date.

Why don't students in Christian schools learn trigonometry?

Because Jesus freed them from their sins.

How do schools of fish meet their annual goals?

They call in a-fish-in-sea experts.

Why can't schools in Afghanistan teach kids to count by drawn lines?

Because of the tally ban

Do you know who I blame for the rise of drugs in schools?

The supply teachers.

Why don't white supremacists take calculus in high school?

They don't want to see integration in their schools

Why are there no school shootings in Afghanistan?

America already bombed the schools.

After his recent conviction for rape, two schools stripped their honorary PhD's from Bill Cosby...

It's ok though, Michigan State just gave him another one.

I think the $250 million we spent on bombs for Syria would have been better going to schools in our own country

Then there wouldn't be any teachers left to give raises to.

Perfect solution to make the Right want gun control...

Rename schools to uteruses so they'll care about kids dying there.

In schools with no tolerance policies...

Does everyone go to jail after a school shooting?

What do vaginas and schools have in common?

With both, kids regularly get shot inside.

Prayer has no place in the public schools

just like facts have no place in organized religion

I've just finished the script for a film I titled "American Schools"

Shooting starts soon.

Why are fish poorly educated?

All the schools are below C level.

I was talking about schools earlier today

Facebook apparently overheard and I found a great deal on AR-15's when I logged in later

Thanks to online schools...

Education is reducing gun violence!

An American asks an Australian;

What *doesn't* kill you in Australia

So the Australian responds;

Our schools

Waiting at the student drop off for school dismissal and the teacher asked who my child was.

Time to switch schools.

Today my son was sent home from school for receiving a hand-job from a girl in his class for the third time this year. Each time this has happened he has been given a stern talking to from the principal and had to change schools.

Tired of constantly moving around, I said to him "Son if this keeps happening
they are going to ban you from teaching altogether."

My teenage daughter was worried that she was too one-dimensional when it came to applying for schools. I told her that wasn't true and that she was like an onion. She has many layers.

She also smells really bad and makes me cry.

Why did the gunman start shooting at the ocean?

Because he found out fish swim in schools.

Why did the American start shooting the river?

He learned fish swim in schools

What do mass shootings and Catholic high schools have in common?

THOTs and prayers

What's the difference between normal schools and schools in Alabama?

Schools in Alabama teach the relative theory in sex education

Schools are always telling you to "follow your dreams..."

But my teachers never let me sleep in class.

I visited the Middle East last year...

And I had to spend a whole school year there. It was weird because their schools are unable to have drivers education and sex education on the same day.

Too hard for the camels.

Why do kids at Catholic schools learn sex ed faster?

Because their lessons are more hands-on.

Why are fish so smart

Because they spend a lot of time hanging out in schools

Why do fish form schools, but ants form colonies?

Cause *truants* don't go to school!

(I came up with this right now)

Foucault: Schools serve the same social functions as prisons and hospitals.

Foucault's mother: You're still going.

Studies have shown that American youth has already started using the metric system

Nowadays you can even find students from various schools in America using 9mm

Trump has spent about twenty percentage of his days in office playing golf.

(Me, an Asian)
If I spent that much time playing golf, my GPA would go down to a...—————
*takes out calculator*————
*quick math*————
*puts it back*———
98.1. My GPA would go down to a 98.1.
Yeah, schools aren't that good.

How do they determine the homecoming queen and valedictorian in Alabama high schools?

The homecoming queen is the girl with the most teeth, and the valedictorian is the person who could count them all.

Teachers from other countries make fun of the US education system

Sure, we don't teach evolution everywhere, but I don't see your countries volunteering to demonstrate natural selection in schools across the country.

What do Christians do when they have a surplus of thoughts and prayers?

They force schools to reopen.

This is such a horrible time for the NRA

First schools are closed, and now this.

Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?

because they practice at the best schools

Why do communists hate schools?

Because schools have classes

Why is the National Rifle Association filing for bankruptcy?

Because schools are closed.

What do Tv and American schools have in common?

there weren't any colours until the 60s

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

They have the best schools to practise

Did you hear about how underfunded the dog schools are?

They only teach K-9.

Keep CRT out of our schools!

It's the 21st Century, people. LCD monitors are higher resolution and much more energy efficient!

An American is lecturing a British person,

saying things like it's an elevator not a lift and it's chips not crisps etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted they're schools, not shooting ranges .

What is the difference between the US Army and US schools?

They both get shot at but only the Army gets to shoot back

Why did Arkansas raise the legal drinking age to 32?

To keep alcohol out of the high schools.

What do schools and the anti-vax movement have in common?

Both are raising the world's average IQ

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the schools bad school jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working schools business school piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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