School Principal Jokes
86 school principal jokes and hilarious school principal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about school principal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest School Principal Short Jokes
Short school principal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The school principal humour may include short school teacher jokes also.
- The principal at my school called me in to his office today. He said "I've just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?" No, I'm irresponsible. That's why I threw it.
- So Trump is working with Putin on cybersecurity... In other news, the principal at my school is working with the boys to install a surveillance system to insure privacy in the girls' locker room.
- Son: Dad we have a small get-together at school tomorrow. Dad: What do you mean by small?
Son: Just you, me, and the principal. - Get together Son: Dad there's a small get together at school tomorrow !!!
Father: small get together.? ..how small
Son: only me...you...and principal - "Dad, there is a small get-together tomorrow at my school." "Small get-together? How small?"
"Just you and me... and the principal." - Principal: Sorry for calling you in, but your son set the school on fire. Parents: Arson?
Principal: Yes, your son. - Last year, 7th grade students were forced to clean the entire school. This year, the principal said, "Last year, the 7th grade student did the cleaning. This year, let the 8th grade students do it."
- Why did the boy look at each and every one of the animal crackers? Because his mother told him not to eat them if the "seal" was broken.
Credits to my school principal - A group of vaping college students is called a smog. A group of vaping middle school students is called down to the principal's office.
- Where does the architecture school's principal send bad students? To the suspension bridge.
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School Principal One Liners
Which school principal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with school principal? I can suggest the ones about headmaster and high school teacher.
- My principal doesn't allow guns in school... ...So i had to put on a long sleeve shirt
- My girlfriend isn't the principal of a school... But shes definitely a headmaster in bed.
- So i think my school is haunted The principal keeps talking about some school spirit
- What do you call the libertarian head of a school? The non-aggression Principal.
- What do my mortgage and Bayside High School have in common? An outstanding principal.
Hilarious School Principal Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about school principal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean principal teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make school principal pranks.
I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."
I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."
A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school."
The son replies, "Mom I don't want to go to school!
The teachers and students hate me!
Give me one reason I should go!"
The mom says back, "You should go because you're the principal!"
Early one morning a mother went to wake up her son.
"Wake up, son.
It's time to go to school!"
"Buy why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I *should* go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
Boy: "Our principal is so s**...!"
Girl: "Don't you know who I am?"
Boy: "No?"
Girl: "I'm the principals daughter".
Boy: "Do you know who I am?"
Girl: "No."
Boy: "Good."
*walks away quickly*
I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."
A middle school in Oregon
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and scrubbed the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
The principal of a school stops by a teacher's room...
and tells her, "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, you're going to have three new students today, from out in the country."
The teacher prepares three new desks, and waits all morning, but no new students show up. That is, until one boy in a pair of overalls runs in at about 10:00 a.m. and says, "Sorry Miss Teacher, ma'am. I was on the top of Blueberry Hill till just now, and then I see the time and come a-runnin!"
The teacher excuses his tardiness. At 11:00 a.m, another boy in overalls runs into the room and says, "Sorry ma'am, I was on Blueberry Hill, then I see the time and come a-runnin!"
The teacher excuses his tardiness. At noon, a girl in overalls comes running into the room. The teacher says, "Hello, am I to assume that you were on Blueberry Hill as well?" The girl replies, "No ma'am, I AM Blueberry Hill."
Lipstick Girls
A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm. They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.
The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.
That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.
Waking up on a Monday morning...
On a Monday morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up son. It's time to got to school!"
"But mom, I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why."
"Well, the kids hate me, and the teachers hate me too!"
"That's no reason. Come now get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go?"
"Well for one you are 52 years old. And for another, you're the principal!".
A Finnish WWII air force verteran was about to give a talk to an American high school.
He was stereotypically Nordic: pale skin, fair hair, and a heavy accent.
He introduced himself and began with a vivid description of his first dogfight in the Lapland War. "Literally the moment after we take off and got through the fog we saw them. Eight pesky Fokkers were spread out and firing in front of me and my buddies. We had to go in defense position and try to outflank them, but they got flight leader. On second approach we shot a few down and dispersed the rest. On third approach I shot two Fokkers down, but another one got me in the rudder. I went into tail spin and had to bail out. Luckily the f**...-"
The principal of the school suddenly interjected, as at this point nearly everyone was laughing. "Now, students, please be respectful of our guest and where he is from. As some of you may know, a Fokker," the principal said slowly, carefully pronouncing the word, "is a type of German fighter plane used in World War II. There is no need to-"
The Finn had to interrupt, "Excuse me Mr. Principal, actually Fokker is Dutch. We were shooting down Messerschmitts."
A joke from Italy
Pierino returns home from school and he is very happy. He tells his dad "Hey Dad! did you know that today me and my friends placed a bomb in the school?
"Are you Crazy?" his dad responds. "You will be in a lot of trouble when i tell the principal what you did and he expels you when you go back to school tomorrow!"
Pierino: "School? What school?"
What did the inflatable principal say to the inflatable student who brought a pin to the inflatable school?
Not only have you let me down, you have also let the school down but mainly you have let yourself down.
2 Reasons Why I Should go to School
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
Broken Promises
While my son was at the school yesterday he was acting up. The teacher called on him and asked, "Do you remember what you promised me?" The boy said, "Yes, that I wouldn't misbehave anymore." Then the teacher asked, "And do you remember what I promised you?" The boy responded, "Yes, that if I misbehaved again I'd be sent to the principals office, but since I broke my promise it's ok if you do too."
Our school's Principal eloped with one of the school's security staff.
I can't believe she let her guard down.
The lipstick problem
My local middle school had a problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
The phone rang in the principal's office...
Principal: "Hello?"
Caller: "Umm yes hi, my son won't be coming to school today because he's got the flu."
Principal: "OK and who may I ask is speaking?"
Caller: "Umm my dad."
Hanging in the hallway at a high school are...
...the basketball team pictures from the past decades. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "92-93," "93-94," "94-95," etc.
One day the principal spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos.
Turning to the principal, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
Offensive Joke: The principal of my daughter's elementary school wanted to talk me about her behavior.
Apparently she was making racist remarks towards the black kids in her class and insulting them.
I must say I am terrified and very disappointed, she isn't even allowed to talk to them.
What's the difference between a school and Hillary Clinton?
A school has at least one principal.
True false tests
Why did the school principal forbid the use of true/false tests? It was part of the school's anti Boolean campaign.
Kiss The Mirror
A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
It's the first day of high school...
...and the principal is giving an orientation to the freshmen class. He says "Welcome to high school! We have a few rules we must go over. First, men will use the men's locker room, and women will use the women's locker room. If anyone is caught in the other gender's locker room, it is a $20 dollar fine for a first offense, $30 for a second offense, $40 for a third, and so on. Any questions?"
A kid in the back stands up and asks "How much for a season pass?"
The school principal is walking along the corridor
and sees a ten-year-old strolling in the opposite direction, smoking a cigarette and drinking beer from a bottle.
The principal is outraged and cries out:
— What's going on here? Why aren't you at class? And how dare you smoke and drink alcohol at school? What class are you from?
The kid calmly blows smoke into the principal's face and says:
— Bourgeoisie.
Mom: - "Get up Liam, you will be late for school."
- "But I don't wanna go, all the teachers and students hate me."
- "You have to go."
- "Give me one reason why I should go."
- "Your 35, and you're the principal."
What time is it when a Muslim immigrant brings a clock to school in Texas?
Time to get a new principal.
What did the Christan principal say when she kicked a student out of school?
THE POWER OF CHRIST EXPELS YOU.
Kevin is woken up for school.
Kevin is woken up by his mother.
"Rise and shine, Kevin! Time to go to school!"
"But mom, I don't want to get up."
"No, you're getting up now, no excuses."
"Name me two good reasons for why I should get up now and go to school.."
"First of all: You're 54. And second of all, you're the principal!"
*Source: Hamburger Abendblatt issue #124*
Late for School
Mother: "Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school."
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good reason."
Mother: "Because you're 34 years old, and you're the principal."
I went to a High School pep rally....
The principal had announced earlier that day that he would make an inspirational speech for us. At the rally, he walked up to the microphone for his speech. But, all he did was look at the crowd, smiled, and stepped down.
We were left speechless.
Jimmy in the school..
One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, "Why are you home so early?" He answered, "Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class." She said, "Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?" Jimmy replied, "The question was 'Who threw the trash can at the principal's head?'"
a district administrator was offered a large bribe to fire some of the heads of his local schools
but he stuck by his principals
Got in a fight at school and was sent to the Principal's office...
"You're fired." He tells me.
School Question
Mother: Why are you home from school so early?
Son: I was the only one who could answer a question.
Mother:Oh, really? What was the question?
Son: Who threw the eraser at the principal?
Today the principal at my school incorrectly let go of our school's cherished relief teacher.
Whoops, wrong sub
In high school I got sent to the principal for making fun of the paraplegic kid.
He asked if I would like to explain why I would do such a thing. I replied "It was just some armless teasing."
Johnny said he doesn't want to go to school anymore.
His mother tried to persuade him to go to school.
"I don't want to," said Johnny, "every kids in school hates me."
"Honey, you have to go," said his mother, "you're the principal."
It was my first day at a new school.
When I arrived, I wanted to make sure nobody would pick on me so I walked up to the captain of the football team and punched him in the face. He fell to the ground, unconscious. From that day forward, everyone knew not to mess with the new principal.
Difference between Hypothetical and actual
So a young boy comes home from school and says, "dad, my teacher said my homework for the night is to find out the difference between hypothetical and actual."
His dad says, " well son, go ask your mother if she'd sleep with her boss for a million dollars. Then, go ask your sister if she'd sleep with her principal for a million dollars and come back, tell me what they said. "
So the young boy goes and asks both his mom and sister, comes back. "dad, they both said yes."
"Well son, that's your answer."
"But I don't get it", the boy says.
"Ya see, HYPOTHETICALLY we could be millionaires but, we're ACTUALLY living with a couple of w**...."
"Mom, I don't want to go to school..."
"God d**... Frank. You have to go, you're the principal"
"Mom, I don't want to go to school. Everyone bullies me and laughs at me, even the teachers"
"God d**..., Seymour. You have to go. You're the principal!
"What do I have to do to graduate high school?"
"Who", the principal corrected as he unzipped his pants.
Give me two good reasons
Today, all schools reopened after a long summer vacation.
In one home in our neighbourhood, early this morning, a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up, Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.
SON : Awww Mom! I don't want to go to school.
MOM : Give me two good reasons why you don't want to go to school??
SON : "One, all the children hate me.
Two, all the teachers hate me!!
MOM : Oh! that's not a reason darling. Come on, you have to go to school.
SON : OK. You give me two good reasons, WHY I should go to school?
MOM : One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old, and should understand your responsibilities!
Two You are the 'PRINCIPAL' of the school "😂
Why did the headmaster at school never give my parrot a seat in physics class?
Because he was named the Polly Exclusion Principal.
Son: I don't want to go school, Ma!
Son: All the teachers think I Am s**... and the kids hate me.
Mom: No! You should go, because you are the "Principal!"
Today my son was sent home from school for receiving a hand-job from a girl in his class for the third time this year. Each time this has happened he has been given a stern talking to from the principal and had to change schools.
Tired of constantly moving around, I said to him "Son if this keeps happening
they are going to ban you from teaching altogether."
The Principal's room and the football ground were at the same location in the school. Why?
Because the principal was bald.
My fifth grade teacher taught me how to smoke p**... and kiss.
Best hire I've ever made as a school principal.
Peter wakes up one morning
"I don't wanna go to the school!"
"Give me one good reason why you should stay home!"
"I can give you three: I don't like the school cafeteria's food, I don't like the teachers and I don't like the students"
"Well, Peter, I've already packed your lunch. You're 54 years old and the principal. GO TO WORK!"
Time to go to school
Mom: Time to wake up and go to school!
Son: No, I don't wanna go to school today!
Mom: But you have to go to school.
Son: But, I don't wanna go to school.
Mom: Give me three good reasons why you should stay home, and I will give you three reasons why you need to go to school.
Son: Well, all the students hate me…and…All the teachers hate me…and… I just don't wanna go to school.
Mom: Well I have a lot to do today, and I can't take care of you today…
Two, you are over 40-years-old…
And three, you are the principal.
In the morning, the mother wakes up the child "Come on, wake up, you know the quarantine is over and school starts again!"
"But, mom, why do I have to go? I hate school!"
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"One: all children hate me, two: all teachers hate me even more!"
"These are just excuses, get up once and for all!"
"But then YOU give me two reasons to go."
"One: you are 41 years old, two: you are the school principal!"
The son told his mom: "I don't want to go to school today. The kids tease me, the teachers hate me."
"But Michael, you must be in school. You're the principal!"
A freshman is talking to the new girl in school. You'll like it here, he tells her. Everyone is pretty chill, the teachers are all nice, but the principal is kind of a m**....
Do you know who I am? the girl asks her new classmate. I'm the daughter of the principal.
The boy is silent and then asks her, Do you know who I am?
She shakes her head no. Good, says the boy as he walks away.
Got an email from my Son's grade school today ...
Seems my little boy got sent to the Principal's office for giving his Teacher the finger.
The school staff still can't figure out who it belongs to and how he got it.
A man was sitting in the couch when his wife came in
The wife told him their son needs 200 dollars for school donation so he gave it to her.
Later that day his son hugged him and thanked him for the 50 he gave to school.
And few hours later the principal messaged him to thank him for the 10 dollars donation.
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"
Ivy League School Principal, Mr. Marquez, and Community College Principal, Mr. Davidson, were arguing that their respective students were the most fearless.
Ivy League school principal called his students and asked them to jump in sea full of sharks.
They jumped.
Principal said: See the guts…
Community College principal called his students and asked them to jump.
They said: "Have you completely lost your marbles, Mr. Davidson?"
Principal said: See the guts.
My kid got sent home from school one day.
They said he was catching bees and throwing them at other kids. So I sat him down and had a chat. I said, "Son, you can't be doing that, obviously it's not ok to throw bees at people, they could get stung and what happens if someone has an allergic reaction? How would you feel if that happened?" And he replied, " Well I know it doesn't sound safe, but my principal said I could do it and the teachers said I could do it. Infact both of you even said I could do it! You all said I can bee who I want to bee!
A high school principal made an announcement at an assembly.
He said, "Boys and girls, the faculty have witnessed an alarming increase in public displays of affection, which are against school policy. Effective immediately, we will start issuing fines to those caught doing this. A first offense will be $5. A second offense will be $10. A third offense will be $20. So on and so forth."
Suddenly, a student in the crowd yelled, "How much for a season pass?"
Jimmy the genius son!
Jimmy got home early from school today and his mom asked: ***Why are you home so early***?
He replied: ***Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.***
She said: ***Wow, my son is a geniusssss!*** ***What was the question?***
Jimmy replied: The question was '***Who threw the trash can at the principal's head***?'
Male pupil: The principal of our school is s**....
Female pupil: Do you know who I am?
Male pupil: I don't know.
Female pupil: The principal's daughter.
Male pupil: Hey, do you know who I am?
Female pupil: I don't know.
Male pupil: That's good.
Jimmy, it's time to wake up.
I don't want to wake up.
You have to go to school.
I don't want to go to the school. All the teachers hate me. The students all hate me too.
But you must go!
Why must I go?
You're the principal.
Mom: Wake up, son. It's time to go to school
Son: But why? Everyone in the school hates me
Mom: Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school
Son: Give me two good reasons why I should go to school?
MOM : One, you should understand your responsibilities.
Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.
A school principal arrives in his office when the phone rings.
"I'm afraid my daughter won't be in school today," says the voice on the other line. "She has a terrible cold."
"I'm sorry to hear this," says the principal. "I hope her cold gets better soon. Who is this calling?"
"This is my mom."
Mom tells her son to wake up and go to school.
The son replies, I don't want to get up or go to school.
Mom responds, You have to go to school, everybody is expecting you to be there .
Son asks, Why do I have to go to school?
Mom: Because you're 40 years old and you are the Principal .
A mom walks into her son's room one morning...
Mom: "Wake up, or you'll be late for school."
Son: "I don't want to go to school today!"
M: "Why not?"
S: "Because all the kids hate me!"
M: "But you have to go."
S: "But all the teachers hate me too!!!"
M: "Oh, for crying out loud. Get up! You're 45 years old and you're the principal!"
