School Days Jokes
28 school days jokes and hilarious school days puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about school days that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest School Days Short Jokes
Short school days jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The school days humour may include short school safe jokes also.
- When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word... ...I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.
- When I was a kid my mom used to say " Perdon my French" when she said any bad word. I'll never forget the day in school when my teacher ask if could speak French.
- My wife asked me to prepare our 4 year old ginger son for his first day at school. So I punched him & stole his lunch money.
- When I was a kid adults would use swear words then apologise by saying 'Excuse my French'. I still remember my first day at school when the teacher asked "Does anyone know any French?"
- To this day, my bully that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the positive side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
- I deserve an award for beating up a school shooter... I beat him up every day for nearly a year before he shot up the school.
- In my day, schooling was so severe. If we got answers wrong in class, teachers would hit us with unbreakable metal ruler.
Tough measures. - What's the best part about having memorial day off? 3 straight days without a school shooting.
- First Day At School The child comes home from his first day at school.
His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow." - My daughter came home from her first day at school and announced that she "learned how to make babies" You drop the "y" and add "ies".
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School Days One Liners
Which school days one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with school days? I can suggest the ones about school start and kid school.
- What did the buffalo say to his son on his first day of school? Bison.
- What's yellow and comes in the morning to brighten every parent's day? The school bus.
- If you miss a day in cosmetology school... Do you have to do a make-up test?
- The only time kids are shot in school in Canada is.. Picture day
- How did the Endorian get to school every day? Ewok'd.
- I never learnt the meaning of the word truancy... ...I wasn't at school that day.
- Why are schools red? You would be too if you had 7 periods a day.
- Chuck Norris skipped school two days in a row... Those days are now Saturday and Sunday.
- I went to braille school but quit after one day. I really wasn't feeling it.
- If school buses become autonomous... hackers are going to have a field day.
- I missed the first day of cosmetology school... I had to take a makeup class.
- Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had a low "elf" esteem!
- The day I can't do my job drunk... Is the day I hang up my school bus keys.
- What did Eric say to his classmates on the last day of school? "Do you believe in God?"
- Back in my day we didn't call them school shootings We called them surprise hide and seek
Great School Days Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about school days you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean school work jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make school days pranks.
School days...
Teacher: If income tax is 20% and your dad earns $50,000, how much tax does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: Let's try again. If income tax is 30% and your dad earns $100000, how much does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: Alright, last try. If income tax is %50 and your dad earns $1000000, how much does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: you don't know your percentages.
Kid: you don't know my dad.
[OC] My kids seem to magically only get sick on school days...and quite a lot of them.
It's like they've got weekend immune systems.
A very sexist from my high school days
Person 1, "Your dishwasher stops working and like any good mechanic you hit it and tell it to get back to work, and it does. You return later to find dishes that are only half clean. Why?"
Person 2, "I have no clue."
Person 1, "You must have hit her in the eye."
Johnny learns fast…
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy 1: I saw a strap of your bra.
Teacher: Please stay out of school for one week.
Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy 2: I saw both your bra straps.
Teacher: Suspended from school for one month.
Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Little Johnny started walking out of the class…
Teacher: Why are you leaving?
Little Johnny: I think my school days are over.
During my school days I was living on baked beans.
A house would probably have been a smarter option.
The best joke from my school days
There are two elephants sitting in a bathtub.
One says to the other, "Hey can you pass the soap?"
The other one replies, "Only if you pass the typewriter!"
Teacher: why did you laugh?
Teacher: why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw one strap of your bra.
Teacher: get out of the class for 1 week.
Two boys laughed, Teacher: why did you laugh:
boys: I saw both straps. Teacher: get out for 1 month. She bent down to take chalk, jony started walking out.
Teacher: jony, why you are going out?
Jony: what I just saw I think my school days are over.
Teacher: "Why did you laugh?"
Boy: "I saw a strap of your bra."
Teacher: "Get out! Don't come to class for the next 1 week. Another boy laughs..."
Teacher: "Why did you laugh?"
Boy: "I saw both straps of your bra."
Teacher: "Get out! Don't come to class for next 1 month."
The teacher bends to pick a chalk and little Johnny starts walking out of the class.
Teacher: "Why are you going out?"
Johnny: "With what I saw I think my school days are over."
You know why high school days in the Gulag are shorter than regular high schools?
Since they don't include the lunch period.
During my school days, my teachers always used to wear sunglasses
I was such a Bright student.
Teacher and her 3 boy students:
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy 1: I saw a strap of your bra.
Teacher: You are punished to stay out of school for one week.
Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy 2: I saw your bra straps.
Teacher: You are punished to stay out of school for one month.
Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
Teacher: Why are you leaving?
Boy 3: I think my school days are over.
School Punishments
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny,Pat?"
"I just saw one of your garters!"
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"
"I just saw both of your garters!"
Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!"
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asks.
"From what I just saw, my school days are over!"
A young man decided after 4 years of working nonstop at a decent paying job and saving the bulk of his earnings that perhaps it was time to settle down.
He called up an old girlfriend from his high school days and she answered on the first ring.
As they spoke and reminisced about old times she said to him "Wow, this has been great, I've really enjoyed speaking with you, but I must ask, where on earth did you find my number?"
To which he replied "Honestly? I'm just as surprised as you are, I have been working as a jani tor in our old high school and just happened to see your number etched into the door of a boys bathroom stall! I'm amazed you still have the same number after all these years!"
And she responded "Well, how else was I supposed to keep in touch with all the boys I used to sleep with?"
