School Bus Jokes

92 school bus jokes and hilarious school bus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about school bus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest School Bus Short Jokes

Short school bus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The school bus humour may include short buses jokes also.

  1. I jumped on the bus, and said, "Two, please." The driver said, "This is a school bus."
    I replied, "I know, and make them good looking."
  2. No wonder fortnite is so popular among school children Who doesn't love hopping off the bus and shooting everybody in sight?
  3. I offered to give my daughter a lift to school. "Come on," said my wife, "she's big enough to take the bus by herself."
    I said, "That's harsh. She's not *that* overweight."
  4. What happened to the Irishman who tried to blow up a school bus? He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.
  5. A Jewish kid tells his father he saved some money... Kid: "Dad I saved $3 by running behind the bus after school today"
    Dad: "Next time run behind a taxi, you'll save more"
  6. I knew it was going to be a bad day after I fell asleep on the school bus this morning. Especially since I was the one driving.
  7. TIL that a school bus can only jump over 14 students at a time. Unrelatedly, I've been fired from my job as a bus driver.
  8. God answers prayers, trust me. I prayed for a job, a car, and for lots of pretty girls. I now work as a bus driver in an all-girls school.
  9. The day I can't do my job drunk is the day I hand over my keys today was my last day as a school bus driver
  10. My 5 year old made a joke: Why did Mommy take the school bus to school? Because she was a kid.

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School Bus One Liners

Which school bus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with school bus? I can suggest the ones about bus ride and riding the bus.

  1. My biggest fear is dying alone. That's why I drive a school bus.
  2. What's yellow and comes in the morning to brighten every parent's day? The school bus.
  3. What is yellow and can't swim? A school bus.
  4. What do you get if you cross a river with a school bus? Fired.
  5. What is yellow, has 38 eyes, and can't swim? A School Bus.
  6. What is black and yellow and can't swim? A school bus full of children.
  7. [OC] How do americans get to the shooting range? With the school bus
  8. How does mary jane get to school? She takes the cani-bus
  9. What did the school in Egypt finally get? A new bus.
  10. what's yellow and can't swim ? A school bus full of children
  11. Snoop Dogg is a huge fan of The Magic School Bus. F'rizzle.
  12. What's black and yellow and goes "Ahhhhh" A school bus falling off a cliff.
  13. What's a Saudi's worst fear? Children in a school bus.
  14. What's yellow and you shouldn't drink A School Bus
  15. What's yellow and bad for your teeth? A school bus

School Bus Driver Jokes

Here is a list of funny school bus driver jokes and even better school bus driver puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why does the school bus driver stop at all railroad crossings? He was trained.
  • One day mike was praying god and suddenly god appears God: What do you want? Mike: A job, Big Car and Lot of Girls God: Your wish is granted Poor Mike is Driver of Girls School Bus.
  • I had the best bus driver in elementrary school? He always used to let me sit on his lap during the bumpy parts.
  • The school's bus driver wasn't surprised when he saw Billy wearing lipstick and mascara. The school had already asked him to go back and get the young student after he completed his make up exam.
  • Masquerade party at school. Nobody removes their masks to say 'Ha! I am the bus driver'

Cheerful School Bus Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about school bus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bus driver jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make school bus pranks.

Yo momma is so fat that when she saw a yellow school bus go by full of white kids she ran after it yelling, "t**...!"

A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out.
The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him.
The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid.
"Is this really your grandmother?"
"Yes. She visits every Christmas!"
"Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists.
"At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."

Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."

Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.

She's so fat that she ran down the street chasing a yellow school bus thinkg it was the largest twinkey ever.

back of the bus....

There once was an old school bus driver who in his age, had plenty of wisdom. One day he over heard the white kids and the black kids yelling about who should sit in the front of the bus, and who should sit in the back.
He quickly pulled the bus over and threw it in park then ordered everyone off the bus.
He proceeded to give an inspirational message about how there was no black or white. "We should all look at ourselves as green from this point on!"
Feeling like he got his point across he ordered the children back onto the bus, "I want the dark green kids in the back and light green kids upfront!"


There was a man who goes to the bank and sees a woman with twelve children. He's astonished that this woman has so many children with her and so he approaches her and says, "Wow that sure is a lot of kids are they yours?"
The woman says "Yes all twelve are mine." The man shocked by this replies "What are there names." She says "Leroy, one e for the girls and two e's for the boys." At this the man is really surprised and asks "doesn't that get confusing?" She says "No it's great I just call for one and they all come. I say Leroy time for breakfast and there they all come down. I say Leroy time for school and they all come down and get on the bus."
The man considers this and asks "Yes but what if you want just one Leroy what do you do then?" She looks him dead in the eye and says "Oh that's easy I just call them by their last name."

What's Black and Yellow that makes everyone laugh?

a school bus full of n**... going off a cliff.

Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?

Because they were ret*arrrrrrrrrr*ded

A Lawyer a Priest and a Rabbi.....

are driving behind a school bus when it suddenly runs off the road and flips over. The rabbi looks at the other two and says, "We must go out and help the children." The lawyer responds, "Screw those kids." To which the priest replies, "Do you think we have time?"

A Priest and a Rabbi walk past a school....

A Priest and a Rabbi walk past a school and see a little boy by himself waiting for the bus. The Priest turns to the Rabbi and says "Lets screw him!" The Rabbi looks at the Priest for a minute and asks "Out of what?"

Magic School Bus Movie

Don't get your hopes up

I like old school music

Classics such as "The wheels on the bus" and "Hot cross buns" from music class

Yo mama so fat....

When she sees a school bus with white kids, she yells "t**..."

Whats yellow and black and fun to watch?

A School bus full of black children falling off a cliff.

What's worse than being stuck behind a school bus?

Driving a school bus

What's the difference between a garbage truck and a school bus?

One goes around neighborhoods picking up useless pieces of garbage that nobody wants in their houses anymore..
And the other's a garbage truck.

People try to shame me for m**....

But I say "I have every right to be on this bus". And they're like " But you're the driver!" And I say back "Shut up lady I get your kids to school on time every day."

My boss just said, "Everyone dies alone."

I told him, "you don't have to die alone, just get in your car and aim for a school bus."

The Magic School Bus

That girl over there,
We call her the Magic School Bus.
The entire class has had a ride, and every time it was an absolutely wild adventure.

What kind of bus does a bee take to school?

A school buzz

The teacher asked the class if everyone got the syllabus.

Jimmy raised his hand and said, "No, I took the boring short bus to school."

The day I can't do my job drunk...

Is the day I hang up my school bus keys.

What's yellow and black and makes you laugh?

A school bus full of black people driving off a cliff

A school bus rolled over with 22 kids inside..

Fortunately there were only minor injuries...

I take the bus to school

So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.

This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud c**.... I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.
I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. Following the rope, I see an inmate. A rather small inmate. As a matter of fact, the man was a dwarf.
I stared at him in awe. As he made his way down the rope towards freedom, he notice me observing him. He gave me the stink eye. I thought to myself:
Wow, that's a little condescending.

How does thread get to school?

A spool bus.

Investigation shows Teen who collided head-on with a school bus intentionally moved into oncoming traffic

There are some lines that should never be crossed.

What does Michael Jackson call a school bus?

Meals on wheels.

m**... while looking in a mirror isn't wrong.

Unless it's a rear view mirror, and you're driving a school bus

What is yellow and makes moms happy in the morning?

The school bus.

What if the school bus...

was a RHOMbus?
-Courtesy of my 6yo. She's definitely a mix of mom's math and dad's jokes!

When I grew up, I attended a school that was six miles away by foot.

Fortunately, we rode the bus.

They're rebooting The Magic School Bus

With the Friz? No way!

What do you call a school bus full of white people?

A t**...

What do you call a school bus with a priest on board?

A crime scene

Why was the School Bus stuck?

It was STOPping itself.

How is Fortnite duos like s**...?

Because my partners come from a school bus and by the end someone usually has a scar

How do you get Pikachu on a school bus?


Your momma's so fat....

She saw a yellow bus full of white kids and screamed "FOLLOW THAT t**...!!!"
god i miss middle school

After hearing repeated complaints from the schoolkids that the bus driver drove too fast and recklessly, the teachers decide to investigate.

The next morning two of the teachers sit in the bus the bus throughout its entire route, dropping off the kids to school and back. They found that the bus driver actually drove at a reasonable speed, perhaps a bit on the fast side but nothing complaint worthy.
As the last kid is dropped off home from school, she asks, "How come you drove slower today?"
"I lost my glasses," the bus driver replied. "I can't see a thing without them."

My brother told me this yesterday: "I take a BMW back from school everyday"

"Well, first I take the **bus** , then I take the **MRT** and finally I walk"
^(Not sure if y'all find this funny just wanted to share :>)

jokes about school bus