Silly Schizophrenic Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
I hate being schizophrenic
So do I
I was dating a schizophrenic chick and
I left her cause she was seeing other people
My roommate claims I'm schizophrenic.
Joke's on him, I don't have a roommate.
The multiple times I talk to God it's called praying
But the one time God talks back to me I'm labeled as a schizophrenic
What did the schizophrenic accountant say?
I hear invoices!
A guy walks into a psychiatric ward to visit his old man.
As he sits down in the recreation room with his dad, he spots a schizophrenic kid standing on the table.
The kid starts targeting each person in the room, busting out the freshest, most incredible 'yo mama' jokes he's ever heard; true originality at its best.
"That's incredible," he says to his old man, "That kid's got an insane dis ability!"
Visited my doctor today
He said I was a paranoid schizophrenic..
Well.. he didn't actually say it.. but WE KNEW he was thinking it.
What do schizophrenic Karens do for a living?
They are managers.
What Do You Call A Schizophrenic Nun?
Psycho-sis
I dated a schizophrenic once...
...but I had to break it off because he kept seeing other people.
I'm schizophrenic
And so am i
You can explore schizophrenic damper reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean schizophrenic hypochondriac dad jokes. There are also schizophrenic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I asked the voice in my head, "Do you think we're schizophrenic?"
It said, "Really? Come on, man. What are the chances we're *both* schizophrenic?"
My best friend says I'm schizophrenic
I say he's a hypocrite. Especially since I don't exist
Do you know what's the worse part of being a paranoid schizophrenic?
Who the h**... is asking? Why do you want to know? Leave me alone! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhh!
When you talk to God, you're praying...
When God talks to you, you're a schizophrenic.
What did the schizophrenic guy say to his ex?
I'm seeing someone.
I always ask myself whether I'm schizophrenic
But the voices inside my head tell me no and I trust them
My schizophrenic girlfriend broke up with me.
She said she's seeing other people.
A guy goes into a psychologist and says, "Hey Doc, I think I'm schizophrenic."
The doctor says, "What a coincidence that makes four of us!"
What do you get if you combine a insomniac, a Agnostic with a Schizophrenic and a dyslexic?
A person who argues with himself all night about whether or not there is a dog.
What do schizophrenic people think when they say an insensitive joke?
That sounded a lot better in my head
My mate Jim says I might be schizophrenic...
which is weird because I don't have a mate called Jim.
Did you hear the joke about the schizophrenic?
So did he.
I am not schizophrenic
And neither am I
Why didn't the paranoid schizophrenic have any money in the bank?
He had a tendency to withdraw.
I used to be a ventriloquist, until I lost my d**....
Now I'm just a schizophrenic.
What does a Twitter user and Schizophrenic have in common?
They both think outloud.
I was having an o**... with a bunch of r**...
When I realized that I'm schizophrenic and I've just been jerking off alone in my room.
What did the stingy schizophrenic finally come to realize after years of therapy?
That Sharon is Karen...
Two friends are sitting at a bar, one has schizophrenia. Suddenly the schizophrenic starts bursting out laughing, and it takes a few minutes for him to calm down.
When he finally does, he says "sorry, it's a inside joke".
Went to meet up with an old schizophrenic friend I hadn't seen in years
He's like a completely different person
What does a schizophrenic, agnostic, insomniac do?
He stays up all night asking himself if there is a Dog.
Thank.
edit new Joke: How many times can a 40something year old ADHD, dyslexic, m**... try to tell this joke and still get it wrong?
A little kid came up to me and said...
"I have two mommies."
"Really?", I said. "Your parents are l**...?"
"No, my mom's just a schizophrenic."
Roses are red violets are blue
I'm a schizophrenic and so am I
Did you hear about the case of the schizophrenic ventriloquist?
Everyone *around* him heard voices.
