Schizophrenic Jokes
51 schizophrenic jokes and hilarious schizophrenic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about schizophrenic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Schizophrenic Short Jokes
Short schizophrenic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The schizophrenic humour may include short schizophrenia jokes also.
- The multiple times I talk to God it's called praying But the one time God talks back to me I'm labeled as a schizophrenic
- Visited my doctor today He said I was a paranoid schizophrenic..
Well.. he didn't actually say it.. but WE KNEW he was thinking it. - I dated a schizophrenic once... ...but I had to break it off because he kept seeing other people.
- I asked the voice in my head, "Do you think we're schizophrenic?" It said, "Really? Come on, man. What are the chances we're *both* schizophrenic?"
- My best friend says I'm schizophrenic I say he's a hypocrite. Especially since I don't exist
- I always ask myself whether I'm schizophrenic But the voices inside my head tell me no and I trust them
- A guy goes into a psychologist and says, "Hey Doc, I think I'm schizophrenic." The doctor says, "What a coincidence that makes four of us!"
- What do schizophrenic people think when they say an insensitive joke? That sounded a lot better in my head
- My mate Jim says I might be schizophrenic... which is weird because I don't have a mate called Jim.
- Why didn't the paranoid schizophrenic have any money in the bank? He had a tendency to withdraw.
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Schizophrenic One Liners
Which schizophrenic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with schizophrenic? I can suggest the ones about paranoid and psychiatric.
- I hate being schizophrenic So do I
- I was dating a schizophrenic chick and I left her cause she was seeing other people
- My roommate claims I'm schizophrenic. Joke's on him, I don't have a roommate.
- What did the schizophrenic accountant say? I hear invoices!
- What Do You Call A Schizophrenic Nun? Psycho-sis
- I'm schizophrenic And so am i
- When you talk to God, you're praying... When God talks to you, you're a schizophrenic.
- What did the schizophrenic guy say to his ex? I'm seeing someone.
- My schizophrenic girlfriend broke up with me. She said she's seeing other people.
- Did you hear the joke about the schizophrenic? So did he.
- I am not schizophrenic And neither am I
- What does a Twitter user and Schizophrenic have in common? They both think outloud.
- What's a schizophrenic's favorite band? Guided By Voices
- sometimes i think im schizophrenic but the voices in my head tell me im wrong
- I used to be a ventriloquist, until I lost my d**.... Now I'm just a schizophrenic.
Silly Schizophrenic Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about schizophrenic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean delusional jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make schizophrenic pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a schizophrenic, agnostic, insomniac do?
He stays up all night asking himself if there is a Dog.
Thank.
edit new Joke: How many times can a 40something year old ADHD, dyslexic, m**... try to tell this joke and still get it wrong?
Did you hear about the case of the schizophrenic ventriloquist?
Everyone *around* him heard voices.
The other day I went to the doctor and he told me I may be schizophrenic
And I said, "Hey Doc, you must be talking to the wrong guy!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little kid came up to me and said...
"I have two mommies."
"Really?", I said. "Your parents are l**...?"
"No, my mom's just a schizophrenic."
The secret to making schizophrenics feel comfortable is you must be Frank with them
And Also Adam
Two friends are sitting at a bar, one has schizophrenia. Suddenly the schizophrenic starts bursting out laughing, and it takes a few minutes for him to calm down.
When he finally does, he says "sorry, it's a inside joke".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was having an o**... with a bunch of r**...
When I realized that I'm schizophrenic and I've just been jerking off alone in my room.
Went to meet up with an old schizophrenic friend I hadn't seen in years
He's like a completely different person
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a psychiatric ward to visit his old man.
As he sits down in the recreation room with his dad, he spots a schizophrenic kid standing on the table.
The kid starts targeting each person in the room, busting out the freshest, most incredible 'yo mama' jokes he's ever heard; true originality at its best.
"That's incredible," he says to his old man, "That kid's got an insane dis ability!"
What did the stingy schizophrenic finally come to realize after years of therapy?
That Sharon is Karen...
I told my doctor that I think I'm a schizophrenic
She said that it was impossible because I had no personality.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you know what's the worse part of being a paranoid schizophrenic?
Who the h**... is asking? Why do you want to know? Leave me alone! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhh!
