Schizophrenic Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Schizophrenic jokes. Read schizophrenic insomnia jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud.

Enjoy this list of puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these schizophrenic cashew puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Silly Schizophrenic Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

I hate being schizophrenic

So do I

I was dating a schizophrenic chick and

I left her cause she was seeing other people

My roommate claims I'm schizophrenic.

Joke's on him, I don't have a roommate.

The multiple times I talk to God it's called praying

But the one time God talks back to me I'm labeled as a schizophrenic

jokes about schizophrenic

What did the schizophrenic accountant say?

I hear invoices!

A guy walks into a psychiatric ward to visit his old man.

As he sits down in the recreation room with his dad, he spots a schizophrenic kid standing on the table.

The kid starts targeting each person in the room, busting out the freshest, most incredible 'yo mama' jokes he's ever heard; true originality at its best.

"That's incredible," he says to his old man, "That kid's got an insane dis ability!"

Visited my doctor today

He said I was a paranoid schizophrenic..

Well.. he didn't actually say it.. but WE KNEW he was thinking it.

Schizophrenic joke, Visited my doctor today

What do schizophrenic Karens do for a living?

They are managers.

What Do You Call A Schizophrenic Nun?


I dated a schizophrenic once...

...but I had to break it off because he kept seeing other people.

I'm schizophrenic

And so am i

You can explore schizophrenic damper reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean schizophrenic hypochondriac dad jokes. There are also schizophrenic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I asked the voice in my head, "Do you think we're schizophrenic?"

It said, "Really? Come on, man. What are the chances we're *both* schizophrenic?"

My best friend says I'm schizophrenic

I say he's a hypocrite. Especially since I don't exist

Do you know what's the worse part of being a paranoid schizophrenic?

Who the h**... is asking? Why do you want to know? Leave me alone! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhh!

When you talk to God, you're praying...

When God talks to you, you're a schizophrenic.

What did the schizophrenic guy say to his ex?

I'm seeing someone.

Schizophrenic joke, What did the schizophrenic guy say to his ex?

I always ask myself whether I'm schizophrenic

But the voices inside my head tell me no and I trust them

My schizophrenic girlfriend broke up with me.

She said she's seeing other people.

A guy goes into a psychologist and says, "Hey Doc, I think I'm schizophrenic."

The doctor says, "What a coincidence that makes four of us!"

What do you get if you combine a insomniac, a Agnostic with a Schizophrenic and a dyslexic?

A person who argues with himself all night about whether or not there is a dog.

What do schizophrenic people think when they say an insensitive joke?

That sounded a lot better in my head

My mate Jim says I might be schizophrenic...

which is weird because I don't have a mate called Jim.

Did you hear the joke about the schizophrenic?

So did he.

I am not schizophrenic

And neither am I

Why didn't the paranoid schizophrenic have any money in the bank?

He had a tendency to withdraw.

I used to be a ventriloquist, until I lost my d**....

Now I'm just a schizophrenic.

Schizophrenic joke, I used to be a ventriloquist, until I lost my d**....

What does a Twitter user and Schizophrenic have in common?

They both think outloud.

I was having an o**... with a bunch of r**...

When I realized that I'm schizophrenic and I've just been jerking off alone in my room.

What did the stingy schizophrenic finally come to realize after years of therapy?

That Sharon is Karen...

Two friends are sitting at a bar, one has schizophrenia. Suddenly the schizophrenic starts bursting out laughing, and it takes a few minutes for him to calm down.

When he finally does, he says "sorry, it's a inside joke".

Went to meet up with an old schizophrenic friend I hadn't seen in years

He's like a completely different person

What does a schizophrenic, agnostic, insomniac do?

He stays up all night asking himself if there is a Dog.


edit new Joke: How many times can a 40something year old ADHD, dyslexic, m**... try to tell this joke and still get it wrong?

A little kid came up to me and said...

"I have two mommies."
"Really?", I said. "Your parents are l**...?"
"No, my mom's just a schizophrenic."

Roses are red violets are blue

I'm a schizophrenic and so am I

Did you hear about the case of the schizophrenic ventriloquist?

Everyone *around* him heard voices.

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the schizophrenic psychosis puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working schizophrenic kleptomaniac piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

Joko Jokes