Scaring Jokes

Following is our collection of Scaring funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include dirty puns, clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best Scaring jokes

Scaring men is easy

I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is..

Terrorist holding dad at gunpoint-

Terrorist: "Say your last words!"

Dad: "Your last words!"

Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"

Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"

Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"

Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."

Terrorist: "What's a 'henway'"?

Dad: "About a pound and a half."

Terrorist: "Stop! I'm serious!"

Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"

A man would come home very late and very drunk every night.

His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him.

When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a demon.

He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"

There's a man, ranting, raving, and waving a bell around Times Square...

There's a man, ranting, raving, and waving a bell around Times Square, shouting at the top of his lungs. A police officer notices him from a fair distance.

Seeing that the man is scaring everyone around him, the officer runs all the way up to the man, and shouts, "Hey, what do you think your doing?"

"Scaring off tigers." He replies.

"Are you insane? There aren't any tigers for thousands of miles."

The man nods satisfactorily, "You're welcome."

A guy gets shipwrecked onto an island with a dog and a pig

So a guy gets shipwrecked onto an island with a dog and a pig. After years, he gets sexual urges and his mind visualizes the pig as a super hot woman. Everytime he tries to get the pig alone and put his arm around it, the dog starts barking loudly and scaring the pig to run away. One day a super beautiful lady gets washed ashore. He nurses her back to health and takes care of her. One day he's sitting right next to her staring at the beautiful sunset then leans into her ear and whispers " hey, can you go take the dog for a walk".

My wife just asked me if I know what today is..

Scaring me is easy!

My favorite hobbies are getting naked, and scaring people.

In that order.

Do you know why New Zealand has banned blind people from bungee jumping?

It kept scaring the life out of the seeing eye dogs.

Did you hear about the scarecrow that's great at scaring away birds?

He is just outstanding in his field!

A doctor walks into the room and says, "Sir, you're going to have to stop masturbating."

Guy says sarcastically, "Why? Because it will make me go blind?"

Doctor says, "No. You're scaring all of the patients."

One Time Long Ago, Way Back In Medieval Times...

There was a brave knight named Sir Finley who fought everything the king commissioned him to. One day, a dragon terrorized a nearby village, scaring the kingdom. Sir Finley was sent of to slay this terrible dragon. Once he got there, the dragon's tail knocked him off balance. Sir Finley fell to the dragon, and the dragon cut off his feet first when starting to cook.

Sir Finley was de-feet-ed.

I hate the people who shout "THIS IS THE POLICE, OPEN THE DOOR YOU CREEP". Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

What did the disco goose say to the abrasive scarecrow?

You're scaring me, let me dance the night away.

ghost hunters be wary, there's a nasty spirit going around scaring people with a lit match...

...We all need to stop him before he strikes again.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes