Following is our collection of Scared jokes which are very funny. There are some scared timid jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these scared fear puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I'm not sure what scared him more. My naked body or the fact I knew where he lived
A taxi passenger touched the driver on shoulder to ask something
Driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath & Stopped few centimeters from a shop
The driver said: "Don't ever do that again man! You scared me!"
Passenger apologized and said: "I didn't realize a little touch would scare you so much"
Driver replied: "Sorry, it's not your fault
Its my 1st day as a Cab driver...I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies for last 25 yrs
It's night time and everything is very dark.
The little boy turns to the clown and says "I'm scared"
To which the clown turns to him and replies "You're scared! I'm the one that's gotta walk out of here alone"
What do you call an egg that's scared?
A chicken egg.
Because he was scared of vacuums!
The scariest thing in the world is waking up with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. I was so scared I almost swerved off the road!
A woman goes to a doctor's office to get results back from a test she took a few weeks ago. The doctor sits her down and tells her "You have TJS, Tom Jones Syndrome." The woman, scared, asks "Is it rare?" and the doctor replies "It's not unusual"
wife : Do these jeans make me look fat?
Me totally scared: Would you get mad if i tell you the truth?
Wife : No, i won't! Tell me.
Me : I slept with your sister
They must be scared of the dark or something.
Man, am I scared! confided Paddy to Seamus, looking furtively around the pub. I just got a card from a guy saying that he would shoot me if I did not stay away from his wife.
Well, stay away from his wife, advised Seamus, and you have got no problem.
How can I? moaned Paddy, he did not sign his name.
The girl says, "I'm scared!"
The clown replies, "you think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
You can explore scared ominous reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean scared roar dad jokes. There are also scared puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A bearded, middle-eastern guy boards a plane. As soon as he enters he shouts "hijack!". All the passengers are scared to death. Some start crying. Then a white guy from the back stands up and says "oh hi Ahmed, didn't expect to see you here.."
He got so scared, he looked up to heaven and yelled "OH MY GOD! Help me!"
And a voice from Heaven came down and asked, "Does that mean you want to be a Christian?"
The Atheist thinks a little bit and says, "No, make the bear a Christian."
The bear, almost ready to attack, then a miracle happened. The bear's paws came together in prayer form, looked up to Heaven and said, "Bless this food which I'm about to eat."
-Frank De Lima
As Billy is quite young, he is shocked and confused at what he is seeing. His Dad tries to explain:
"Don't be scared, Billy. I'm not hurting myself, I'm doing something completely normal. In fact, you are going to start doing it pretty soon as well."
"Why is that, Dad?", young Billy asks.
"Because, son, my hand is getting tired and I need someone to take over."
The peasant crosses himself and says scared: "Blessed Virgin, three men buried in the same grave!"
Grow a pear.
As they get deeper and deeper into the woods, the little boy starts looking around, apprehensive.
"Boy, it sure is getting scary in here." the little boy says.
"YOU'RE scared?" the clown replies, "I still have to walk back out of here by myself!"
She told me she was getting scared.
"Is it the storyline?" I asked.
"Not really," she replied. "Stop taking notes."
But in Iraq, no phobia.
The kid looks up at the clown, "It's getting late, and I'm getting scared."
Clown says, "YOU'RE scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
I laughed so hard my grenades almost fell out of my pocket.
A mother of twins went into labour and passed out. She woke up hours later to find her (not so bright) sister carrying her twins. Nervously the new mother asked her sister whether the children has been named. To which the sister replied yes. The new mother shocked and scared then asked the sister what she named the children to which she replied she named the niece Denise. The mother feeling a little better then asked what she had name the boy to which she replied Denephew.
Grow up.
Because 2+0+1+7 is 10 - the exact number of nipples Hitler would have if he had 8 more
It's dark and raining. The boy looks up to the man and says, "I'm scared!"
The man replies, "You're scared? I'm gonna have to walk out of here alone!"
should just grow a pear.
So my Mom explained that was silly, because they're much more scared of me.
Once upon a time... there was a missionary walking along the savannah when he suddenly encountered himself with a very hungry lion.
Scared to death, the missionary went down on knees and prayed "Oh dear Lord, please come down and give christian feelings to this poor criature".
After one second, the miracle occurred: the lion knelt down and prayed "Oh dear lord, bless this food you have provided me".
….but get really scared when I ask them to take their clothes off.
I think she was scared because she spelt my name wrong, she wrote "callthecops".
I didn't bother leaving a tip.
I'd be shittin' bricks
She gave a slight glance towards me and She started walking faster, so I walked faster.
She started running, so I started running.
She started screaming, so I started screaming.
I was too scared to look behind and never did find out what we were running away from.
Then we both got bored of Scrabble and had sex.
All passengers got scared.
From the other end of the plane, a guy shouted back, HI JOHN!
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said "Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me." The passenger, who was also frightened, apologised and said he didn't realise that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied: "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
I'm not sure what scared him more; me being naked or me knowing where he lives.
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
Scared me so much I almost fell in.
But I am scared my inbox will be flooded
He wakes up one night and opens the closet and he sees himself. Scared, he quickly calls the cops
"Police! There's a burglar in my closet, come quickly!"
A police man arrives at the idiots house and opens the closet and finds the mirror. He takes a step back and slaps the idiot as hard as he can
"Why did you call me when you already had a policeman inside?!"
More scared of you than you are of me
"Golly!" the boy says, "It sure is scary out here!"
"You think you're scared!" the clown replies. "I'm the one who has to walk home all alone."
He replied, "Well I forgot her name 10 years ago and I'm scared to ask her!"
I asked my grandpa: After 65 years you still call grandma darling, beautiful and honey. What's the secret?
Grandpa: I forgot her name 5 years ago and I'm scared to ask her.
One started to march towards the other, while the other got scared.
One was cowrageous.
The other was a coward.
The daughter says: Dad, I'm scared .
The father replies: Imagine how scared I'll be walking back all by myself
Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest coward.
The first kid says," My dad is so scared that when a lightning strikes my dad slides underneath our bed."
The second kid goes," That's nothing, my dad is so scared, that when mummy works night shift, my dad sleeps with the woman next door."
He was in the middle of 9-11
Because 6 7 8.
In front of me was a woman.
She looked behind her back, the started to run faster,
I got a little spooked so I started walking faster too.
she began to walk even faster.
I was really scared so I began walking even faster too.
suddenly she began to run.
I began running too.
She then began screaming, so did i.
I don't know what was behind us, but it was the scariest night of my life.
"9-11 what is your emergency?"
The boy replied, "My parents are fighting and I'm scared.."
"Well who's your father?"
"Well that's what they're fighting about."
You don't hear them complaining about it.
3 girls walked up to me and explained that they were scared to walk past the cemetery at night so I agreed to let them walk along with me. I told them I understand, I used to get freaked out too when I was alive.
I'm not sure what him scared him more, the fact I was naked or that I knew where he lived.
For a second, I was really scared that I had a tiktok account.
For a second, i was really scared that i had TikTok
I don't know what terrified him more, the fact that I was naked or that I knew where he lived.
It will only allow idiots to spread their conspiracy theories faster.
...so that's just being hippocritical...
... and his car suddenly breaks down. He pulls over and starts to look under the hood when he hears a voice from behind.
"Looks like your timing chain broke"
He turns around and is surprised to see a horse standing there and nobody else around.
The man runs away scared and reaches a farm house about a mile down.
A farmer comes to the door and the man tells him what just happened. He tells him that horse spoke and told him the timing chain broke.
"What?" The farmer asks "wait, was it a brown horse with a white spot on his face?"
"Yes! That's the one!" The man replies.
Farmer: "oh don't listen to him, he doesn't know anything about cars"
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me?"
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, its not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
Suddenly, Dino spots an old WWII bomb floating towards them.
Dino screams "Marcello! Look! It's a mine!"
Marcello -scared- replies "Okay okay Dino, you can a have it!"
"I got a
letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop
seeing his wife." "Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll
have to stop seeing his wife." "Easy for you to say," the first
guy said. "You like her that much?" the friend asked. "It's not
that," declared the man, "He didn't sign his name."
I'm not surprised though, she kicked me out last August.
but 10 died in the middle of 9 11
Who would ever be scared of Santa Claus?
"Fine with me," said the dentist, "but I'll have to adjust the chair."
I've been scared ever since.
Because he's always in the middle of 9/11
I guess some people were starting to pressure her to invoke the 25th amendment and she got scared because she can't count that high.
Because its life was at steak!
You're scared of not being alone in the dark.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the scared panicky jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working scared frighten piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.