Scar Jokes

143 scar jokes and hilarious scar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Scar Short Jokes

Short scar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The scar humour may include short char jokes also.

  1. A snail, who was tired of being slow, went and bought a sports car with a big S on each side Whenever people saw him zooming past, they would say, Hey, look at that S-Car Go
  2. Being a doctor and a married man with kids, it feels like I'm living two lives. In one life there's medicine, scarring images and long, painful hours.
    And in the other life I'm a doctor.
  3. Do you want to know how i got these Scars? Joker asked Batman as he showed him his Lion king figurine collection.
  4. I'm going to try a new pickup line when I'm traveling in a red state: Hey baby, want to see my vasectomy scar?
  5. Did you hear about the snail who bought himself a Ferrari and painted a big yellow "S" on the side? Now wherever he drives, people watch and say "Look at that S-car go!"
  6. I hope one day they invent a car named "The S-Car" Because everyone will see it and say, "Look at that S-Car go!"
  7. Why's the little boy scarred for life after going to buy his mom some earrings? He went to Jared.
  8. Why Did the Snail Want to Paint the Letter "S" on his Race Car? So, people could point and go "Look at that S-Car Go!"
  9. If Harry Potter, as a baby, was struck twice by Voldemort... I don't think people would have celebrated him as much for having 2 lightning bolt shaped scars on his forehead
  10. What type of surgery would a diamond get if it didn't want to leave a big scar? Mineral-ly invasive.

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Scar One Liners

Which scar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with scar? I can suggest the ones about chap and torch.

  1. I had a SCAB but I picked the bottom right hand corner of it... No I have a SCAR.
  2. Do you like my scar? I made it from scratch.
  3. Why doesn't Achilles have any scars? His wounds always heel.
  4. How do Emo kids reward themselves? Gold Scars.
    I'll see myself out.
  5. How many Catholics does it take to mentally scar a child for life? Nun.
  6. What song did Scar sing when he fixed his car horn? Beep repaired...
  7. Why did the boxer cover up his battle scar? He didn't want to reveal the punchline.
  8. I'm an experienced and seasoned driver You should see my car's battle scars.
  9. What would JOKER say if he had Alzheimer? "Do you know how I got these scars?"
  10. What's a Fortnite player's favorite Disney character? SCAR
  11. What Lives in Sweden has Scars and Guards The Skarsgard Family
  12. what is harry Potter's favorite ice breaker? Scar Stories.
  13. Bellybuttons. The mother of all scars.
  14. freckles are actually just scars From the coat hanger abortion
  15. (Utterly awful joke ahead) What do you call a scar left by the Swedish Chef? A borkmark.

Scar Lion Jokes

Here is a list of funny scar lion jokes and even better scar lion puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The word is it isn't Scar who kills Mufasa in the new Live Action Lion King... ...Eric Trump jumps out a bush and shoots him!
  • Why did Scar tell the pride Simba killed Mufasa? He was a Lion.
Scar joke, Why did Scar tell the pride Simba killed Mufasa?

Quirky and Hilarious Scar Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about scar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shell jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make scar pranks.

I scared the postman today by going to the door completely n**....

I'm not sure what scared him more. My n**... body or the fact I knew where he lived

Scarecrows love farming

When I asked him why he loved farming so much he just said, "Hay, it's in my jeans."

I'm scared Mister

So a r**.../m**... is walking into a deep dark wooded area with a 6 year old boy. They are pretty far into the woods when the young boy says: "Mister, I'm scared." The old man turns to the boy and says: "You're scared? I'm the one who has to walk out of these woods alone."

What do you get when you scare a tree?

Petrified wood.

Why was 10 scared?

... because he was in the middle of 9-11!
Better phrasing recommendations appreciated :-)

What did the scarecrow say when the farmer asked him in for dinner?

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Why did the scarecrow win an award........

....because it stood out in it's field.

Scariest thing ever

The scariest thing in the world is waking up with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. I was so scared I almost swerved off the road!

Why did the scarecrow get the Nobel prize?

He was out standing in his field.

Why did the scare crow win the award?

He was out standing in his field.
This has Always been my favourite pun.

A man walks into a bar...

Shadily dressed in a trench coat with the collar pulled up and a fedora pulled down over his face. A livid scar runs down his cheek, and his two tone shoes are dangerously polished. In his hands he's carrying an accordion case. The bar falls completely silent. All of the patrons turn pale and freeze as the man strolls up to the bar and sets the case down on the counter. Everyone holds their breath. Suddenly, the man flips open the case and pulls out a machine gun! And everyone in the bar breathes a sigh of relief.

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!
The job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in his jeans.

Do scarecrows really work?

No, but because they don't register for benefits, they don't count as unemployed either.

Scared of eating genetically modified fruit?

Grow a pear.

There's nothing scarier then a mosquito

coming out of Magic Johnson's house

Why did the scarecrow win so many awards?

Because he was out standing in his field.

I'm really scared that the Fine Bros are going to sue me

because I just had an allergic reaction.

Why am I scared of french pastry chefs?

They give me the crepes.

Which are the scariest kind of bees?


What is the scariest part of a cavity search?

When they put both their hands on your shoulders but keep searching

What do Taylor Swift and Avada Kedavra have in common?

They'll leave you breathless or with a n**... scar.

When Scarlett Witch was at the Avengers HQ...

you could say she super Vision.

Why should you be scared of a white man in prison?

Because you know he is actually guilty.
Credit to /u/Ser_Rodrick_Cassel for the joke!

I used to be scared of pretty girls,

So my Mom explained that was silly, because they're much more scared of me.

What's with everyone being scared of clowns recently?

Americas already got two running for president.

The scarecrow won employee of the month again...

He's outstanding in his field.

I'm scared of french pancakes

They give me the crepes

I had a scary dream about a horse last night

Man what a nightmare

The scarf store

A guy walks in to a scarf shop and asks what kind of scarves they sell.
The owner replies "we have wool ones inside and cashmere outside, how bout dat?"

I'd be very scared if I swallowed a cup of cement

I'd be shittin' bricks

Why should you still be scared of a serial killer who just had one of his arms cut off?

Because he still isn't completely 'armless.

What is the scariest way to get through the woods?

The psycho path

Why are scarecrows so special?

They are outstanding in their field.

Being a scarecrow isn't easy...

but hay, it's in my jeans

How scared was the dinosaur?


How do you scare a child? Tell them that a monster is in the closet.

How do you scare a conservative? Tell them that *their* child is in the closet!

There was a snail who took his brand new sports car into the body shop and got a custom paint job.

He asked for racing stripes, flames, lightning bolts…you name it.
But there was one thing about the paint job the body shop owner just couldn't understand.
The snail wanted a big S on the driver's and passenger's doors.
When asked about them the snail said:
When I drive by someone at high speed I want them to say 'Look at that S-car go.'

I scared my mailman by showing up at the door completely n**...

I'm not sure what scared him more; me being n**... or me knowing where he lives.

As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field.

But hay, it's in my jeans.

Why is 10 scared?

Because it's in the middle of 9/11

How do you scare bees?

Gold from my local preacher

Scaring men is easy

I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is..

What's the scariest thing about a white guy in a prison?

You know he actually did it.

I scared the postman when i went to the door completely n**... .

I don't know if it was that I was n**... or because I knew where he lived.

What scares a caterpillar?

A dog-erpillar! (From a 3rd grader at dismissal yesterday!)

Why should you be scared of the white man in prison?

Because he actually did something wrong.

Why is six scared of seven?

It is because of the head in the box scene.

Two scared dads

Two kids are arguing over whose father was the biggest scaredy cat. Tommy says, My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bead.
Peter replies, Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door.

My s**... life is like being struck by lightning.

I never thought it would happen, but when it did, it was shocking and left me a huge scar.

There was a scared Spanish man at a club

Hispanic at the disco.

Why was 8 scared of 7?

Because 7 was a 6 offender.

Why was 10 scared?

He was in the middle of 9-11

I was scared of the dark when i was a kid...

Now im afraid of the lights because of the electricity bills.

Why can't you scare a chemist?

...because they always lack the element of surprise...

A pig with a wooden leg and his owner walk into a bar.

His owner orders a beer and begins bragging to the bartender about his pig. "See that scar on his head? He got that rescuing me from a fire," says the guy. "And see that he's only got one eye? He lost the other one saving 17 people from dying in a bus c**...." "So what heroic act was he doing when he lost his hind leg?" the bartender asks. "Dang it man," the guy says. "With a pig this good, you don't eat it all at once!"

what is the scariest letter in the alphabet?

"v" because it comes after u...

Don't be scared of dying. People die all the time.

You don't hear them complaining about it.

Why was the scarecrow nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize?

Because he was out standing in his field

What's the scariest kind of dinosaur?

A terrordactyl!

What's so scary about a white person in prison

You know he did it
This ain't mine btw I got it from youtube

If you're scared of Paedophiles....

....then grow up

Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz is by far the greatest character of all time.

No one could hold a candle to him.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

I scared the postman today by showing up to the door completely n**......

I'm not sure what him scared him more, the fact I was n**... or that I knew where he lived.

What do you say to someone too scared to plant apples ?

Grow a pear.

You know what I do when I get scared by frozen food?

Ice cream

I scared the mailman today by coming to the door n**....

I don't know what terrified him more, the fact that I was n**... or that I knew where he lived.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because it is outstanding in its field.

It must be scary dating an adult film star

So many jealous step brothers

What would be the scariest coronavirus costume?

One without a mask

I'm scared of 5G

It will only allow idiots to spread their conspiracy theories faster.

I scared the mailman by going up to the door completely n**...

I dont know what shocked him more, the fact that I was n**... or that I knew where he lived

John came to school with a scar on his forehead

Tom asked him what do you have on your face?
John answered that it was a scar and it was his fathers fault. John explained that he hit a nail with his fist, and his father told him that he really should use his head sometimes.

What's going to be the scariest Halloween decoration this year?


It would be really scary if politicians worked shiftwork

There would be so many night mayors

Why was the scarecrow promoted?

He was outstanding in his field.

I don't know which is scarier....

A clown who rummages through the garbage cans at 3am or my neighbor who watches me doing it.

Scar joke, I don't know which is scarier....

jokes about scar