Scanning Jokes
26 scanning jokes and hilarious scanning puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scanning that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Scanning Short Jokes
Short scanning jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The scanning humour may include short scans jokes also.
- I scored a 175 on an IQ test with just 3 simple questions 1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate - I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a customer with her barcode reader for being rude. The look on his face was priceless.
- TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. So they can Scan da navy in
- I just scored a 180 on an IQ test answering three simple questions ! 1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate - Why do all swedish military ships have bar codes on them? So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!
- I'll never forget the look on the cashier's face... when she scanned the packet of bird seed, and I asked her if she knew how long it took for the birds to grow once the seeds have been planted.
- I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader. The look on his face was priceless.
- Why can't the scanned document go 50 feet near a school? Because it's a registered PDF file.
- I've written a poem about the sounds made by dogs... It can only be read if you scan it first.
It's a bark ode. - Scandinavia has a bar code on all of their battleships to keep track of them..... When the ships enter the harbor, they scan-da-navy-in.
Share These Scanning Jokes With Friends
Scanning One Liners
Which scanning one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with scanning? I can suggest the ones about browsing and surveillance.
- Cashier: Scans Condoms Do you need a bag sir?
Me: Jesus, she's not that ugly - What happens when a norwegian robot scans a bird? It Scandanavian
- Did you know that Norway puts barcodes on their ships?? It's so they can scan da navy in
- Why does rhe Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships So they can scan-da-navy-in...
- Why did the Norwegian navy put barcodes on their ships? So they could scan da Navy in.
- Emo girls be like- how much am I worth... Girl scan the code on your wrist
- Dogs cant operate an MRI machine but cat scan
- Why do Norwegian ships have barcodes on the side of them… So they can Scan-da-navi-in
- Dogs operating XRays cannot detect brain tumours. But CAT scan!
- They say dogs can detect cancer by scent.. Wondering if CAT scan too..
- Undomesticated animals can't operate computed axial tomography scans But PET scan.
- I was checking out a Jewish girl the other day. Her barcode wouldn't scan.
- What nationality puts barcodes on birds in pet stores? Scanned-an-avian
- What did the doctor discover on his Catholic patient's CAT scan? A mass.
- When does a racist joke begin? When a white guy starts turning his back to scan the area.

Entertaining Scanning Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about scanning you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean viewing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make scanning pranks.
A man walks into Target
He gets a cart and visits each aisle picking out various items that he's never bought before. He takes his overloaded buggie up to the checkout and calmly watches each item beginning scanned. When it's over and the cashier asks for payment, he says, "Oh I don't have any money. This was just Target practice."
A guy walks into a bar and sees that there are dozens of cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling.
Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
Well, it's a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York s**... dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
Ah, no thanks. The steaks are too high.
———
Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.
A female nudist calls for a taxi
The taxi stops and the driver scans her from head to toe, with big bold eyes.
At this the nudist erupts: Haven't you seen a n**... girl before?
Driver : It's not about that, I'm just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me..
This is my dad's (a math major) favourite joke. What's the difference between an Engineer and a Mathematician?
A mathematician and an engineer are living together in a dorm when a fire starts in their room.
The mathematician wakes up and sees the fire. He quickly scans the room and sees a fire extinguisher and goes back to bed, happy knowing a solution exists.
The engineer wakes up, sees the fire and uses the extinguisher to put it out.
The ad in the paper said, "You think you're funny? Tell us your best pun, and you'll win a $200 Amazon gift card!"
Well, I just couldn't resist. I sat down and wrote not one, but 10 of my best knee-slappers, rib-ticklers, and witty turns-of-phrase. I sent my list of comedy gold to the paper, and then began daydreaming about what I would do with $200.
The day on which the paper announced the contest winner finally arrived! I scanned, and then carefully read the full-page of submissions, but the truth stared me in the face. Of my submissions that should have won, no pun in ten did.
A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo...
To help him, he hired a Native American scout.
The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo.
After riding awhile, the scout gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Hmmm, buffalo come."
The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing.
He is confused and says to the scout, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?"
The scout replies, "Ear sticky".
