Scan Jokes
96 scan jokes and hilarious scan puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scan that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Search and discover the funniest jokes centered around scans such as CAT, MRI, PET, brain, and bone scans. Laugh with friends and family as you use magnets to search for the best jokes about scans. Enjoy a brain MRI without the hassle of going to the hospital.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Scan Short Jokes
Short scan jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The scan humour may include short reads jokes also.
- I scored a 175 on an IQ test with just 3 simple questions 1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate - I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a customer with her barcode reader for being rude. The look on his face was priceless.
- TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. So they can Scan da navy in
- I just scored a 180 on an IQ test answering three simple questions ! 1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate - Why do all swedish military ships have bar codes on them? So when the come to port, they can just Scan da navy in!
- I'll never forget the look on the cashier's face... when she scanned the packet of bird seed, and I asked her if she knew how long it took for the birds to grow once the seeds have been planted.
- I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader. The look on his face was priceless.
- Why can't the scanned document go 50 feet near a school? Because it's a registered PDF file.
- I've written a poem about the sounds made by dogs... It can only be read if you scan it first.
It's a bark ode. - Scandinavia has a bar code on all of their battleships to keep track of them..... When the ships enter the harbor, they scan-da-navy-in.
Share These Scan Jokes With Friends
Scan One Liners
Which scan one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with scan? I can suggest the ones about inspect and survey.
- Cashier: Scans Condoms Do you need a bag sir?
Me: Jesus, she's not that ugly - What happens when a norwegian robot scans a bird? It Scandanavian
- Did you know that Norway puts barcodes on their ships?? It's so they can scan da navy in
- Why does rhe Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships So they can scan-da-navy-in...
- Why did the Norwegian navy put barcodes on their ships? So they could scan da Navy in.
- Emo girls be like- how much am I worth... Girl scan the code on your wrist
- Dogs cant operate an MRI machine but cat scan
- Why do Norwegian ships have barcodes on the side of them… So they can Scan-da-navi-in
- Dogs operating XRays cannot detect brain tumours. But CAT scan!
- They say dogs can detect cancer by scent.. Wondering if CAT scan too..
- Undomesticated animals can't operate computed axial tomography scans But PET scan.
- I was checking out a Jewish girl the other day. Her barcode wouldn't scan.
- What nationality puts barcodes on birds in pet stores? Scanned-an-avian
- What did the doctor discover on his Catholic patient's CAT scan? A mass.
- When does a racist joke begin? When a white guy starts turning his back to scan the area.
Cat Scan Jokes
Here is a list of funny cat scan jokes and even better cat scan puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Speaking of PET scans, did you guys hear about the new law they passed in Oregon where dogs can no longer operate MRI machines? Apparently cats can.
- This exchange on the ride home from school after fainting Dad:the cats should examine you
Me: uh huh
Dad:they'll do a cat scan - Doctors have been running CAT scan for Hours But they couldn't Find the Cat
- Did you know dogs can't have an MRI? But cat scan.
- There are now dogs that can sniff out cancer in its earliest stages. Looks like the end of the CAT scan.
- Did you know cats can be doctors? Ya. They give amazing CAT scans.
- Did you know that dogs can not have medical assessments? But CAT Scan
- CAT HOSPITAL Q: Why did the cat go to the hospital?
A: To have a CAT scan done.
Brain Scan Jokes
Here is a list of funny brain scan jokes and even better brain scan puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Me: "So, any news? Doctor: "I'm just waiting for your x-ray."
Me:" But I've never dated anyone called Ray."
Doctor: "And we might do a brain scan." - The doctors were concerned... ..about my headaches, so they sent me for a brain scan.
They found nothing.
Still concerned, they gave me an IQ test.
The results were negative. - I had a brain scan, and the results were negative. The doctors couldn't find a brain.
- Girlfriend went to the neurologist to get a brain scan yesterday. Nothing showed up.
- TIL that comparative brain scans of elephants reveal that they find humans to be "adorable". I mean, your mom told me I was s**..., but I didn't realize that it was a biological reaction.

Pet Scan Jokes
Here is a list of funny pet scan jokes and even better pet scan puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I took my dog to the vet today she had a PET scan
Mri Scan Jokes
Here is a list of funny mri scan jokes and even better mri scan puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Next week I'm gonna have an MRI scan. I'll finally find out if I have claustrophobia.

Happy Scan Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about scan you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean checker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make scan pranks.
There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks would never quite scan.
When told this was so,
He said, "Yes, I know...
It's because I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."
Dr joke I just made up
A young medical intern was standing in a hospital hallway, looking flustered whilst try to examine a patients' CAT scan. Seeing his confusion, an older doctor came to see what the problem was. He saw that the intern was reading the scan upside down, and turned it around for him. Seeing that the young intern was embarrassed by his mistake, the doctor said, "don't feel embarrassed, lad, there's more than one way to skim a CAT."
A limerick about limericks
There was a young poet from Japan
Whose limericks did not easily scan
When asked why this was,
He said, "It's because
IAlwaysTryToFitAsManySyllablesInTheLastLineAsEverIPossibly can."
A man took his dog to the vet thinking he was dead
The veterinarian placed the dog on a table and placed a cat upon the dog. The cat walked across the dog and veterinarian said, "yep, he is dead, that will $535." The man was outraged and asked "Why it is so much?", the vetanarian replied, "$35 for the office visit and $500 for the cat scan."
So a woman is at a supermarket...
She is loading all her items on the conveyer belt for the chasier to scan.
Her items are; A litre of milk, a carton of eggs, and a head of lettuce.
The cashier looks at her and says, "Are you single?"
The customer, shocked at her assumption says, "Yes, I am. How did you know?"
The cashier says, "Because you're ugly."
How does a Scandinavian man catcall?
"Hey, you look like someone that could show me the right bus to take."
What would a scandal involving Microsoft be called?
Gatesgate.
What did the Scandinavian say at his Grandmothers f**...?
She was a Swede old lady but now shes Finnish
so many poor jokes, where to begin?
A brunette, a blonde and a redhead, all heavily pregnant, are waiting for a scan; the brunette says 'I was on top, so I'm going to have a bay', the redhead responds with 'I was on the bottom, so I'm going to have a girl', at which point the blonde bursts into tears. The other two manage to calm her down, and ask what is wrong? 'I'm going to have puppies!'
I don't believe in Bigfoot
Because he never believed in me. I'd scan the crowd at my school recitals and always saw that one empty seat.
Does Hilary's scandal compare to Bill's?
I'd say it's close, but no cigar.
Why are Scandinavians so good looking?
The Vikings didn't r**... the ugly ones
Trump's first scandal.
Trump has had his first scandal. According to CNN, Donald Trump has gone to a private dinner with his family without alerting the press core. They've called this 'A dangerous breach of protocol and lack of transparency'.
I guess they're worried that he may have given some classified information to his private server.
What do you call it when you spill your morning drive-through beverage on your virus scan software?
Getting McCafé on McAfee
Scandanavian b**...
What did the Norse goddess say to Thor when he drunk dialed her?
"I aint no Valhalla back girl."
So an emo teenager went to grocery store.
He went up to the cashier and said, pointing to his scarred arm
"Hey, can you scan this?"
The cashier then scans the arm, only to say,
"I'm sorry sir, but this item is worthless"
A husband and wife are getting their first baby scan
After a few minutes of silent scanning, the couple ask the doctor if anything is wrong.
The doctor replies: On a positive note, your child will never struggle to find a parking space.
How did the Scandinavian countries communicate during WW2?
Norse code
There once was a poet named Stan...
...whose limericks never would scan.
When told this was so,
He'd reply, "yes, I know,
But you see, the thing is, I seem to have gone and gotten myself into this really rather ridiculous habit recently of always trying to cram as many completely unnecessary additional syllables into the last line as I possibly can!"
A guy was checking out at a supermarket with an attractive young clerk.
She scanned the frozen dinners, the beer, the ramen noodles and kept giving him eyes in between each scan.
As she scanned the condoms she looks and him and says, "Single huh?"
He replies, "yea, how'd you know?"
She says, "Because you're ugly."
Did you hear that the Swedish navy started adding barcodes to their ships recently?
Yeah, they wanted to be able to scan da navy in.
Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side?
So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in
Why does Norway print barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return they can just scan da navy in!
What's the scandal when Tesla promises their cars can travel farther than they really can?
Elongate
This scandal is a bigger deal for Kevin Spacey than it is for Louis c**...
as Kevin finally came-out whereas Louis only just came.
How are Scandinavians made
They are bjorn
Did you hear about the cashier who did tricks with the barcode machine, but still charged full price?
She was a scan artist.
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes?
So you can Scan the navy in.
What was the scandal called when the Tesla model S was really 6 inches longer than advertised?
Elon-gate
I went to the most nonchalent doctor for an MRI scan...
...after all the trouble of going in the machine he randomly decided to cancel the appointment before even turning the machine on.
Zero flux given.
A new shipment of dark blue shirts arrived at the loading dock at work today.
My coworker and I checked the boxes and the shirts felt differently so we started asking questions like, what distributors is this? and who makes it? . Finally after a lot of questions we ask from who? . The delivery driver looks at us and shouts Scan the Navy in!
I was scanning radio stations and landed on a religious show where the host made mention of Jesus's will.
I thought wow, someone should read that. It would probably solve a lot of arguments.
Scandinavians can't do anything
They never Finnish stuff
Why do Scandinavian kids visit candy stores the most?
Because it's really Sweden there.
If you go to a Scandinavian bakery you could Finnish a Swedish Danish.
Norway I'd make this up!
I've decided to stop going to my doctor now I've found out he's into astrology
I went to get the results of a scan and all he had to say was "I've consulted your chart and I can see Cancer is rising in Uranus".
What's a scandinavian with sleep apnea called?
A snorewegian
Self checkout.
Dear Walmart, I'm sorry I "forgot" to scan so many items the last time I went shopping. In my defense... You literally gave me zero training before promoting me to checker!
Scans of a newly discovered sarcophagus have revealed that the mummy inside was coated in nuts and chocolate
It's believed to have been body of Pharaoh Roche.
A man goes to a doctor because he always sees bugs that playing soccer through his eyes
Doctor: "So we need an MRI scan. We couid make you an appointment next sunday".
The patient seems surprised: "Are you nuts? Sunday is the finals".
A Scandanavian man walks into a bar
He orders and drinks an entire glass of beer.
"Are you finished?" asked the bartender.
The man looks at the bartender and says
"No I'm Swedish"
A Scandinavian joke:
It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now there's just Norway, cause I always miss Denmark.
Why are Scandinavians so good at swimming?
Cause they have Finns

