Scalp Jokes

19 scalp jokes and hilarious scalp puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about scalp that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Scalp Short Jokes

Short scalp jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The scalp humour may include short hairline jokes also.

  1. I was balding and losing confidence so I had a rabbit tattooed on my scalp. People tell me, from a distance it looks like hare.
  2. Cowboy 1: Can you think of anything worse than being scalped alive? Cowboy 2: Not off the top of my head.
  3. My doctor was really impressed with the amount of hair I had on the scalp for my hair transplant However, he was a *bit* concerned that the scalp was not mine
  4. If you ever feel like you're walking on eggshells.. Imagine Edward Scissorhands with an itchy scalp.
  5. My conditioner says it normalizes dry itchy scalp... My scalp still itches but now so do all my friend's.
  6. What do you call a German physician who specializes in the epidermis of the scalp? Herr Doctor.
  7. Was just thinking that if I s**... and shined my scalp and stood out in the sun, I could blind passersby or start a fire. Just some random reflections off the top of my head.

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Scalp One Liners

Which scalp one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with scalp? I can suggest the ones about hairs and head and shoulders.

  1. What do call a bad haircut you got from a Native American? A-patchy scalping
  2. Do you anyone who has ever been scalped? I can't think of anyone off the top of my head..
  3. I can't think of anything worse than being scalped. Well...not off the top of my head.
  4. What do Asians have when their scalps are itchy. Rice
  5. The Revenant: How do you call a scalped Leonardo DiCaprio? Leonardo DiCabrio
  6. You know why bodybuilders go bald? Because the hair gets molested by the muscular scalp.
  7. Why did the doctor pull his hair? He was trying to find his scalp-pull
  8. My mom gave me Head... and Shoulders for my itchy scalp.

Scalp joke, My mom gave me Head...

Witty Scalp Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about scalp you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean forehead jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make scalp pranks.

A man tells his blonde girlfriend that his scalp is itchy.

Worried, she calls her mother and asks what to do. She replies calmly, Just give him some Head & Shoulders. She agrees, but calls back about 30 minutes later, Umm... how do you give someone shoulders?

I just realized that since my hair is thinning, my scalp may shine through in photographs depending on the lighting, and possibly blind the photographer.

Just some random reflections off the top of my head. Thanks for listening.

So a pair of cannibals are sitting down to a nice meal...

...of j**... Seinfeld.
A while into the meal, one of the cannibals says,
"I'm going for the forehead, do you want any?" as he cuts a slice from the front of j**...'s scalp. The other cannibal declines, shaking his head and saying,
"What's the deal with hairline food?"

A man was balding very quickly

But he did not want to get a hair transplant nor did he want to take some odd medicine for it. So he decided to tattoo a rabbit on his scalp instead.
A friend of the man asked: "Why would you tattoo a rabbit on your head?"
The man answered: "Because from a distance it looks like hare."

Coming back to London after his latest tour ended in Brazil, Phil Collins found that his head was itching.

He thought, "Hmm, I'd better see someone about this," and got himself to a doctor.
Sure enough, the doctor found small insects in his scalp. He asked, "Were you by any chance riding a llama with fleas?"
"No," Phil said, "it's all been alpaca lice."

Scalp joke, Coming back to London after his latest tour ended in Brazil, Phil Collins found that his head was it