Following is our collection of funny Scale jokes. There are some scale libra jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these scale on a scale from 1 to 10 puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
...so I bought her a scale.
...how much do you love your children?
"What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," said Kim, and so they ambled over to the 'guess-the-weight' stand. The owner guessed 121 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. And back to the 'guess-the-weight' stand they went. Since they had been here before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
A no weigh Jose.
She enters the bathroom, brushes her teeth, gets dressed and finally steps onto the weighing scale.
She looks down to see the results, and suddenly starts screaming happily.
"HONEY, I've lost 6kg since yesterday!", she yells.
The husband looks up from his newspaper and answers:
"Don't be so surprised, you haven't put on your make up yet!"
Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jesse.
"I want to get weighed," replied Amber.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Jesse lost his dollar.
By this time, Jesse figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?"
Amber responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy."
on a scale of 1 to 10, you are a 9 and I'm the 1 you need.
...and his client says, "Could you make this banner a little more green?"
So he makes the color a little bit more green.
But his client says, "No, that's too green. Make it a little less so."
So he makes it a little less green.
The client says, "No, it's still a bit off."
So the artist, losing his patience, shouts, "On a scale of 0 to 255, how green do you want it!?"
On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a 3.14
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat."
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.
I give Nepal a solid 7.8. The score is so high, it's ground breaking
You can explore scale logarithm reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean scale celsius dad jokes. There are also scale puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
urinate
She's basic but can't even.
..apparently 69 was not the correct answer.
His wife was mad. She said "Tomorrow morning there better be a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds!" The next morning there was a box, gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob's been missing since Friday.
... with a shiny new bathroom scale.
Voice Coach: "Let's start with a scale."
Student: "Do, re, muuuhh, fa, so, la, ti, doooh!"
Voice Coach: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't take that tone with mi!"
"I'd say you're about the average but I don't want to make this a mean joke."
Somewhere around a Ronald McDonald, I pretend to like them but slowly kill them with diabetes
..until I realised they weren't to scale.
It's the most basic drink there is.
How old is your girlfriend?
It wasn't long before one of them starts bragging. "I bought my wife something that goes from 0 to 100 in only 6 seconds!"
"What is it?" The others ask.
"A brand new Mercedes!"
"Ha, but I've bought my wife something that goes from 0 to 100 in only 3 seconds!" Said one of the others.
"What is it?" The first guy asks.
"A brand new Porsche!"
"You guys are pathetic." Said the third guy. "The present I've bought goes from 0 to 100 in half a second!"
"A scale."
...so I bought her a bathroom scale.
"Now I can see the numbers..."
Tired of racking his brain, he flat out asked her what she wanted. She replied "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds." So he bought her a bathroom scale.
Dave hasn't been heard from or seen since Thursday.
He asks what do you want to do first. She replies "Get weighed". He says OK and they proceed to go to the scale. When they're done, he says "What do you want to do next?" She says "Get weighed". Once again she hops on the scale. Getting frustrated, the guy says one more time "What do you want to do next?" She replied "Get weighed" again. At this, the guy skips the rest of the fair and drops the girl off at her house. Her mom comes out and says "How was your date?" The girl replies "Wousy".
9 3/4
On one side of the spectrum there are basic Jews, and on the other side, Hasidic.
Ha – Mildly amusing
Haha – Funny
Hahaha – Sarcastic laugh
Hahahaha – Stayin alive
Ha! That's not going to help, she said.
Sure, it does, he said. It's the only way I can see the numbers.
It's a small scale operation
day and she said to her husband, "Honey, for my birthday I want something that goes from 0-230 in 6 seconds to be in our driveway."
"I'll see what I can do" replied the husband suggestively.
The next morning she ran outside and found a scale in the driveway.
So I got her a bathroom scale.
is a bad way to spend nine hours.
they are all to scale
It must be drawn to scale.
I gave her a scale.
The last time she saw 2017 was on the scale
I bought her a scale. We're still not speaking.
But on a scale from awful to great Texas is just below OK.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it a 3.14.
The walls aren't built to scale
The hiring manager is perplexed. "How" he asks, "does inking reptiles amount to 'relevant experience' designing buildings for our firm?"
"Well for starters" the lizard tatoo artist begins, "all of my drawings are to scale."
*This is OC fam. Just put my 2 weeks notice in at my day job.*
Sure, it does. I said. It's the only way I can see the numbers.
Wife laughing :you know that's not going to help.
Husband: yes it does. It's the only way I can see the numbers.
"Why?"
"Because I shed so!"
"Joe, you know that's not going to help you," she said
"Oh it helps a lot," he replies. It's the only way I can see the numbers!
Oh the pH scale, because girl you are basic.
Doctor: "I'd say it's be-nine."
Patient: "Hahaha"
Doctor: "Hahahaha"
Patient: "Haha"
Doctor: "You have a month to live."
On the pH scale, maybe, cuz you basic.
And after stepping on the scale I pulled in my stomach, to which my girlfriend reacted: "you know that doesn't help at all". I told her "sure it does, now I can see the numbers"
She said "you're an 8 on a scale of 10"
I still don't understand why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton
It's a small scale operation.
"Pulling in your stomach wont make you any lighter" she said
"I know", I said, "but if I don't, I cant see what it says on the dial"
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said,
"You're an 8 on a scale of 10."
I still don't get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton..
I think you are in the middle, says the women.
So my looking is just okay, says the man, a bit disappointed.
No, you are pretty ugly, says the women.
Wife: "So you step on the scale before you poop, go to the toilet, step on the scale again and the difference is the weight of your poop?
He: Oh, yeah, I guess you could also do it that way...
Thinking he was trying to weigh less with maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that is going to help." "Sure it will," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers..
"No," I said.
"It's to look at."
On the pH scale maybe, cause you're basic
Kid: It stops at 8?
Doctor: It does for you.
I got her a weighing scale.
His wife was mad. She told him tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!
The next morning she saw a big gift wrapped box in the driveway. She rushed out, opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
They both measure wait.
\- Would it be possible to make the scale from 1 to 20?
\- No
\- Why not?!
It may be a low level but it goes on forever
A boxing match is about to start.
An ex-criminal steps on the scale and weighs in at 90kg.
Next up.. a professional athlete weighing in at 85kg.
Gotta weigh the pros and cons
Edit but not actually an edit : it's dumb, I'm aware
Surely they can only use scale mail?
Me: I need to go get something from the car
Son: I want to come!
Me: no, just wait for me please
I come back inside to a digital scale sitting on the floor in front of the door
Son: okay, I *weighted* for you
I'm such a proud grampa
He said "To scale?"
I said "No, just to look at"
-32768
He didn't want to see another dog pound!
"Sure I can, just gotta use the C scale!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the scale weigh jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working scale revolutions piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.