Saw Movie Jokes

110 saw movie jokes and hilarious saw movie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about saw movie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Saw Movie Short Jokes

Short saw movie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The saw movie humour may include short saw con jokes also.

I saw Black Panther 2 without knowing anything about it. I had no idea Wakanda movie it was.
My friend asked me what the biggest fish I ever caught was. "Have you ever saw the movie jaws? I asked. "Well it was about the same size as the box the dvd came in."
I saw the saddest movie ever. A man ended up jacking off to his dead wife's photo and crying. It was absolutely tear jerking.
Movies are always more fun if you dress up like the characters. Like the time I didn't eat for 3 weeks and then saw Schindler's List.
I saw a movie trailer about 30 trapped chillean miners... Apparently Jared from subway had a stash...
(I'm so sorry about this, I just thought of it and needed to get it out)
I ask my brother if he wanted to watch any war movies. He said he was tired of watching people getting shot. I said "you never saw anyone get shot, you graduated HS 12 years ago."
Where was Drax in Avengers : Infinity War? I saw his name in the credits and heard his voice sometimes, but why wasn't he in the movie?
I just saw a movie with Jonah hill and Michael cera. I would not recommend. It was Superbad
My great grandfather saw The Titanic and he warned everyone it would sink, but they all ignored him Time and time again he warned them until they threw him out of the movie theater
A Chinese kid and a Black kid I was walking today and saw a Chinese kid and black kid wave at each other, whenI saw this it gave me hope for the future, or another Rush Hour movie.

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Saw Movie One Liners

Which saw movie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with saw movie? I can suggest the ones about watching movie and scream movie.

Just saw the Black Panther movie 3/5 would recommend.
I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts..... The plot was riveting!
I saw a movie about a farmer who went out of business The plot wasn't very good
Just saw Pixar's latest movie. Not only was it great... ... it was incredible, too.
Arrrgghhh... My Retinas Are on Fire I just saw The Emoji Movie.
I saw a movie about how ships are put together! It was riveting.
I just saw the Assassins Creed Movie Trailer... I did not expect The Spanish Inquisition.
I saw a movie about fishing last night... The cast was pretty great
Just saw the movie glass. Over 2 hours long.
I was shattered at the end.
Just saw the new X-Men movie... It was Marvelous!
I saw a movie once with a lot of racist profanity Obviously, it got rated a hard R.
I love horror movies. I'd know a good one if I Saw 1
What is a surfer guy's favorite horror movie? Saw duude!
I saw that new movie about N.W.A I rate it Straight/Compton
So, I saw the movie Still Alice last night. It's easily forgettable.

Delightful Fun Saw Movie Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about saw movie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean horror movie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make saw movie pranks.

A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help. The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."

Three old friends got together and were discussing what movie they had watched when they conceived their children. One lady says she had just watched a movie called The Search for One-eye Jimmy and nine months later she gave birth to her baby. Another lady says, "Oh, I saw the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and then nine months later I had septuplets." The last lady gasps and exclaims, "Oh no, I just watched 101 Dalmations!"

Yo mama's so dumb that when she saw the "

Under 17 not admitted" sign at a movie theatre, she went home and got 16 friends.

"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?"
"That's right, Sir."
"So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?"
"That was my dentist."

So a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde all work in a very small office

One day their boss Ms. White tells them, "Hey guys, I am going to knock off a little early. I'll see you tomorrow."
Well, the three ladies start talking and they all decide that since the boss wasn't around, they were going to leave too.
The red head went to meet her friends at a bar, the brunette called her boyfriend and went to a movie, but the blonde just went home.
When she got there she heard noises coming from her bedroom. She carefully peeked in and saw her boss and her husband passionately knocking the boots.
Well, she dashed out of the house as quietly as she could and went to the mall until it was her normal time to go home.
The next day Ms White told her three workers she was leaving work early again. And again the three discussed sneaking out early. The blonde said, "No way! The last time we did that, I almost got caught!"

A police officer was directing traffic.

A police officer was directing traffic. He saw a man walking along the sidewalk with a penguin following him. He says, "Sir, you have a penguin following you."
"I know, he won't quit following me." replies the man.
"You should take him to the zoo." The man nods and walks towards the zoo. A bit later the police officer sees the man with the penguin still behind him. "Excuse me sir, I thought you were taking the penguin to the zoo."
"I did" said the man, "Now we are going to the movies."

Saw a new movie the other day...

It was about a guy who dreamt he was a c**....
It was called Contra-ception.

Baking a Cake

A family was out at a movie and there was a s**... scene. Their little girl asks "What are they doing?"
Her mom replies "They are baking a cake." On the way home they saw two people in the park having s**.... The little girl asks the same question. Her mother replies "They are baking a cake honey."
The next morning the little girl asked her mom "Were you and daddy baking a cake last night?"
Her mom says "No of course not, why?"
"Because I licked the icing off the couch."

I saw this really good movie in a hotel..

There were a lot of gunfights, cowboys, saloons and drinking. It was the Best Western I've ever seen.

I Just Went And Saw the LEGO Movie with Some Old Friends

Good film; great company!

Just saw the Lego Movie...

...it was very well *pieced* together!
(Got this off Doug Benson's 'Doug Loves Movies' podcast)

Saw this movie about Jewish people this afternoon..

It had a hollow cast.

I saw a movie completely about 'Connect Four'...

It was called 'Human Centipede'.

I saw a badass preview for a new movie coming out!

It said it was called "U.S. Marines"

I just saw the movie 50 Shades of gray

You could say it had a huge c**....

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor...

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything".
Sorry if this is a repost. Saw it on an IMDb movie discussion thread a while back, thought it was pretty good

I just saw a movie about cinnamon

It had some great cinnamontography

Zoo

Two policeman on patrol see a man walking with a Gorilla. Of course, they stop to inquire. They ask, "So Buddy, what's up with the Gorilla?" The man replies, "I'm taking to the Zoo." Cops say "OK" be on your way. A day later the cops see the same man and gorilla....They stop. "Sir" the officer directs. "We saw you yesterday and thought you were taking him to the Zoo?" "I did", the man replies, "But today, I'm taking him to the movies."

I saw a b**... movie last night.

And it was the best dam movie I'd ever seen.

I recently saw the 'uncut' version of the movie SAW.

It wasn't nearly a gory.

I was lucky enough to run into Terrence Howard in the street, and I told him that I saw his latest movie once.

Condescendingly, as if I were an idiot, he replied, "Don't you mean... two times?"

"Saw the trailer for that new movie The Revenant, looks itense".

"Nah, Probly tipis".

Just saw Star Wars IMAX this weekend. I have to say...

It was a solid movie. I give it a perfect score of 5/7.

I don't know why everyone is complaining about gender inequality in the film industry . . .

Just the other day I saw *several* movies starring women in a variety of roles, such as a teacher, a pizza delivery girl, and a naughty horse trainer.

Two Irish men talking.

- I saw my girlfriend going to the movies with another guy the other night.
- Oh my god. Did you follow them?
- No.
- Why not?
- I had watched the movie before.

"Hey, I finally watched that movie you've been wanting me to see..."

"Oh, so you finally saw Back to the Future?"
"Sure did!"
"It's about time!"

Snakes on a Plane

I arrived at my friend's house and saw he was watching a movie.
"What are you watching?"
"Snakes on a Plane."
"What's it about?"
"Horses."
He turns away from the screen and looks me straight in the eyes before he continues.
"Horses on boats."

Just saw that new Harry Potter movie, and was really disappointed...

...just looked at my ticket stub. It turns out the movie is called fantastic *beasts* and where to find them.

It's been quite a while since I saw a movie with Jane, Henry, or Bridget

I guess it's true what they say - absence makes the heart grow Fonda.

A man decides to buy a lie-detecting robot that slaps people who lie,

and decided to test it out on his son at Dinner.
"Did you go to school today, Jim?" asks the father.
"Yes," replies the son, "I, did go to school"
The Robot slaps him. "FINE, I went to the movies!
"Which one did you see?" the Father proceeds to ask.
"Toy Store 3" mumbled the son.
Once again, the robot slaps him.
"FINE! I saw an R-Rated film!"
"When we were your age, we would be killed if we watched an R-rated film! Heck, we didn't even know what those were at the time!" yells the father. The robot slaps him.
The mother laughs and says "Haha, after all, he IS your son." The robot slaps her as well.

At the movies last night, saw somebody get into an altercation with the guy working the popcorn machine.

Dude ended up getting charged for a salt and buttery.

A man took his dog to the movie with him...

...and during the movie the dog howled with laughter at the jokes, wagged his tail merrily and at the end put his paws together and applauded. The movie staff saw this and were bewildered so after the movie one of the ushers approached the man and said to him, "We were all amazed, your dog really seemed to enjoy the movie." And the man said, "I know, it's so weird! He hated the book."

I was a bit confused when I walked into my s**... Addicts Anonymous group and saw a priest... Aren't they supposed to be celibate?

Then I remembered the movie Spotlight.

I saw two movies this weekend.

One was about a crazy person who fought crime in their underwear, and the other was Captain Underpants.

Yo momma's so dumb,

Yo momma's so dumb, when she went to the movies and saw the "Under 17 not permitted" sign, she left to get 16 of her friends.

So I saw the new IT movie...

I was really disappointed and confused that there were absolutely no computers in the movie at all.

Never Ending Story (You will not get it if you never saw the movie.)

Bastian: Shh, can you hear that? Someone is here.
Atreyu: There's nothing there.
Bastian: Exactly.

I just saw the movie Pitch Black.

What a dark movie.

I saw a movie yesterday called "Finding Chemo."

It brought a whole new meaning to "I've lost my son."

I recently saw a movie about a plane c**......

...I'll give a 9/11

Little Johnny comes home late...

and his mother angrily asks him where he was.
'I was at my friend's watching a movie' says Johnny.
'Don't lie to me, I called his mother and she told me you weren't there'.
'Okay okay, I was in a s**... club'.
'Oh my god.. did you see something you shouldn't have?'
'Yes, I saw dad'

The first time I saw the original Spider-Man movie, I thought Norman Osborne was one of the good guys

Turns out he was Dafoe

if you ever plan on murdering someone, do it in an adult movie theater.

There will be other peoples DNA all over the crime scene, plus no witnesses will come forward to admit they saw you there...

5 Jokes About Pi

1. Divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter and what do you get?
Pumpkin Pi
2. I saw a movie and gave it a 3.1415 out of 5.
It was Life of Pi
3. My friend decided to get a tattoo of the symbol pi on his face.
It was an irrational decision
4. Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's table?
Sir Cumference . but how did he get that way?
eating too much Pi.
5. I hate all these Pi jokes.
They go on forever.
With that last one I'll show myself the door.

Today I turned on the TV and saw twelve Thai boys, a soccer coach and a happy ending.

I've already seen this movie.

I just saw Star Wars Solo, a 250 million dollars movie, and thought:

Wow, it's so expensive to bore me.

Saw the movie titled Constipation?

I bet you didn't because it isn't out yet.
/c**... joke , I know ;-)

I had a girlfriend and her favorite Pixar movie was "Up".

This was 2010 and she had it on blue ray, and we would watch it at least once a week at her apartment. But after like the 40th time, I confronted her and said I was tired of watching. The argument got heated; it didn't help that we were drunk. Suddenly, she pushed me and I fell on something. I turned and saw the disk broken; she cried hysterically.
At this moment, I knew, we broke Up...

I saw Brad Pitt on the street then I suddenly became a hot movie actor and he turned into your average Joe.

Because we exchanged "looks".

By 2500, they will have too many people in the saw movies that one person will be in it for not showering

I saw a movie about a man who cried every time he m**...

It was a real tear-jerker

Just saw the new Queen movie

It was straight

Saw Creed II the other day

I say it's a mostly solid movie. But it's was a bit rocky in some parts more than others

I saw that movie ZZZ yesterday and it was awesome

Yeah dude I heard it was a sleeper hit

I thought I'd surprise my new girlfriend after a recent movie talk we had. So, tonight when she came over, I had a Pornhub movie with a p**... scenario on. She saw it, told me to never talk to her again, and stormed out.

I am starting to think she told me she likes horror movies ...

I saw a really good movie recently about a military man in control of a top-secret bank account

It's called "Ryan's Private Savings"

A blonde and a brunette

decide to go to the movies together. The picture had a scene with a horse race in it. Before the race starts, he brunette turns to the blonde and says "I'll bet you fifty dollars the black horse wins." The blonde says "OK, you're on!" The scene ends with the black horse barely winning, so the blonde pays up. The brunette decides to confess; "I have to admit that I saw this movie last week." The blonde replies, "So did I, but I didn't think that black horse could possibly win a second time!"

I saw this great movie while staying at this hotel. It had a ton of gunfights, cowboys, and saloons.

It was The Best Western I've ever seen.