Saving Water Jokes
50 saving water jokes and hilarious saving water puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about saving water that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Saving Water Short Jokes
Short saving water jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The saving water humour may include short save water jokes also.
- What's your hobby ? Boy : What's your hobby ?
Blonde : Fishing.
Boy : Wow, why do you like fishing ?
Blonde : Because I save fishes from drowning in water. - Inocent question! 'Darling, would you save me if I jumped into the water?'
'Honey, if I say yes, will you jump?' - A cruise ship with a Gay Pride party on board... ran into a storm and began to take on water quickly but by some miracle did not sink.
What saved the ship?
"flambuoyancy" - My wife was wondering if we should wash dishes by hand, in order to save a little money. I figure that using the dishwasher uses more electricity, but less water. So overall it's a wash.
- Ireland has just declared a drought! In response to this the Irish government have decided to close 2 lanes in every swimming pool in an effort to save water.
- Life saving home remedies: if you ever find yourself choking on an ice cube....... Quick drink a cup of boiling water
- Environmentalist Dilemma Biggest dilemma for an environmentalist in Washroom:
'Should I save water or save paper?' - I hate people who do not understand the looming threat of water shortage. Like my neighbour. She refused when I offered to bath together to save water.
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Saving Water One Liners
Which saving water one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with saving water? I can suggest the ones about saving energy and drinking water.
- A German tourist jumped in freezing water to save my precious little dog from drowning.
- My son and daughter aee showering together Its so nice to see them save water
- How do you save someone from drowning? You shoot them before they hit the water.
Saving Water Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about saving water you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean saving money jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make saving water pranks.
A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company.
There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely.
The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks.
But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg.
Very frustrating.
One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious.
He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health.
Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it."
The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?"
Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help.
They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning.
The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore.
Bush asks the boys how he can repay them.
The first boy says, "I want a boat."
The second boy says, "I want a truck."
The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone."
Bush asks, "Why is that?"
The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
Your mama joke!
She sat on a rainbow and skittles came out.
The person sitting on the barstool next to her, is her.
She was sunbathing on the beach one day, and the "save the whales" people kept trying to push her back into the water.
She accidentally cut herself, and gravy came out.
Volunteer fire department
So a farmer purchased a huge plot of land for his farm. Within less then a week an enormous fire breaks out and rages through the field. The fire department arrives almost immedeately and tries everything but the fire is too hot and too strong, keeping them from getting near the largest parts of the fire.
As backup, they call in the volunteer fire department and within a few minutes they arrive on their rickety, rusted fire truck that looks decades old. To the fire department's surprise, the volunteer fire department drives straight through the perimeter of the fire and directly INTO the blazing center. Immediately they jump out of the truck and begin spraying water in all directions which separates the large fire into to smaller ones, which are easily put out.
The farmer is overjoyed at having his land and crops saved, and writes the volunteer fire department a check for 10 thousand dollars for their bravery. When he hands them the check and commends their heroism, they reply "Great, This should be more than enough to fix the breaks on our truck!"
A Religious Joke From a Non-Religious Reditor
A flood occurs in a small town. A man climbs on top of his house to avoid the rising waters. A boat sails up to the house and offers the stranded man a ride. The man refuses saying, "No thanks, God will save me," and the boat leaves.
Then, a large ship comes along and offers the man help. Once more, the man says, "No thank you, I am waiting for God to help me," and the ship leaves.
Finally a helicopter flies overhead and offers to give the man a lift, and, one last time, the man passes, replying, "The good Lord will surely rescue me," and the chopper flies away.
Eventually the man drowns when the flood waters rise above his roof.
Once in heaven the man asks God, "What was up with that? Why'd you leave me hanging like that? Why didn't you save me? I was good, I went to church, I confessed all my sins, and followed the bible, why wasn't I rescued?"
God replies,"What are you talking about? I sent two boats and a helicopter!"
One day bush went jogging...
One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.
Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.
After cleaning up he said, Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you.
The first boy said, Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!
I'll personally hand it to you, said Bush. I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbos, the second boy said.
I'll buy them myself and give them to you, said Bush. And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it, said the third boy.
I'll personally … wait a second, son, you're not handicapped!
No, but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning.
A Lizard was walking one day and happened to look up and see a Koala getting high...
So the Lizard shouts "Hey Koala, what are you doing up there?"
The Koala responds by saying "Nothing man, just smoking a joint, want to come up for a bit?"
The Lizard agrees and quickly scurries up the tree. After a few passes, he tells the Koala he's extremely thirsty and the Koala reminds him that a river isn't far from the tree they are in.
The Lizard goes down the tree and races to the river but due to him being so high, once he gets to the water he slips and falls in. A Crocodile watching him swims over and saves the little Lizard from drowning.
"What's wrong with you?" asked the Crocodile.
"Dude, I was just in a tree smoking a joint with Koala and I got so thirsty and came to get a drink but I slipped and fell in," the Lizard replies
The Crocodile decides for himself he needs to go check out the Lizard's story and goes to find the Koala. After a few moments, he sees the Koala in the tree smoking a joint just as the lizard had said.
"Hey Koala!" Crocodile shouts at the tree.
The Koala looks down at the Crocodile and says:
Shiiiiit dude, how much water did you drink?
Two guys in a insane asylum...
There are two guys in an insane asylum,one is name John and the other is name Matt. John was going for a swim in the pool and begins to drown and Matt jumps in to save him. Matt gets John out of the water and the orderlies take John back to his room. Later that day the head nurse comes up to Matt and says "that for doing a sane act you have proven that you are a fully functioning human being and you are free to go. But I hate to inform you that your friend John committed s**...". Matt says "oh my god he killed himself he seemed fine when I last saw him". "When's the last time you saw him"? I went to his room and he was still wet so I hung him out to dry.
Why God?
One day it began to rain very hard. It rained for hours. There was a man standing outside his house in the rain praying.
When the rain was up to his knees a canoe came by. The people in the boat told him to get on board before he drowned. The man replied "don't worry God will save me."
When the rain was up to his waist a small boat came by. The people in the boat told him to get on board before he drowned. The man replied "don't worry God will save me."
When the water was up to his neck a larger boat came by. The people on the boat told him to get on board before he drowned. The man replied "don't worry God will save me."
Eventually the water went over his head and he drowned. When he got to heaven he asked God why God didn't save him. God then responded "What are you talking about, I sent a canoe, a small boat, and a large boat to save you."
A ship went down on a reef...
There were only three survivors; a 25 year old man, a dog, and a cat.
They were washed up on a deserted tropical island. Food and water were no problem, but after a month the man started to get the urge to have s**.... As there were no other people, he was forced to choose between the dog and the cat. Naturally, he chose the dog - man`s best friend. But the cat had a jealous streak, and would always interrupt the man when he tried to have his way with the dog. The man tried all kinds of strategies, but it was no use. The cat never allowed him a chance to get it on with the dog.
Then one day, another ship went down on the reef. From this ship there was only one survivor; a beautiful 22 year old woman. She almost drowned in the surf as she made her way to the island, but the man rescued her - effectively saving her life.
The woman was so grateful that she offered to do anything for the man.
"Anything?" asked the man, already thinking about his carnal desires.
"Yes. Absolutely anything. I`ll do anything to show you my appreciation. For you are my savior," she replied.
"Well then", said the man, "I`d be delighted if you could take the cat for a walk for half an hour."
2 Mexicans were walking through the desert...
It'd been more than a week since either of them had eaten anything, and their last bottle of water had just gone dry. They'd been walking for hours on end.
Suddenly on the horizon, one of the Mexican's spotted something. 'Look over there my friend, you see the green thing?'
His friend replies 'The thing with pink stuff on it'
Through the air a delicious salty, meaty aroma hit both their noses. They could see a large green, leafy shape in the distance, with pink slivers of what looked like greasy meat hanging from it.
'Yeah man, and you can smell it too!, amigo eetz a bacon tree!'
'AMIGO EETZ A BACON TREE! WE'RE SAVED!'
The Mexican who had first spotted the bacon tree on the horizon suddenly ran, as fast as his legs could carry him towards the plant in in the distance. When all of a sudden...
BANG! BANG! BANG! - Gunshots fired out, as if from nowhere
The other Mexican, who had not had the energy to run looked on to his friend, who lay bleeding and dying from his wounds
Barely able to mouth the words through lack of water the Mexican cried out to his dying friend. 'Amigo, what happened?'
With his last breath the dying Mexican warned his partner...
'Amigo, eetz no bacon tree, eetz a Ham Bush!'
A joke I've known since primary school.
A huge flood occured one day, and an entire town is swallowed up by the water.
A man driving a boat comes by a man that's trying to stay afloat.
**"Quick, get on my boat!",** he said.
The semi-drowning man replies that God will send him help and save him. And so the man left.
Another man comes by a boat and yell's at the man, "**Hey!** ^~~Listen!~~ **Get on my boat!"**
Once again, the man replies that God will send him help and save him.
And so the man left, and with that, the man drowns.
Upon death, the man wakes up in Heaven to see God.
He asks, **"God, why didn't you send me help?"**
God replies, **"What do you mean? I sent you two boats!"**
Barack Obama was out jogging one day...
When he tripped, and fell over a bridge railing and landed in the river below. Before secret service could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted in return for saving his life. The first kid said, "I want to go to Disney world!" To which Obama replied, "not a problem, I'll even fly you there in Air Force one." The second kid then says, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's!" "You got it." Said Obama. "I'll even have Michael Jordan himself sign them." Then the third kid says, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in big screen tv and headset." Obama seemed a bit confused at this. "You don't look like yore handicapped." He said. To which the kid replied, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning.
A British guy, a French guy, a Texan, and a Mexican are all on a boat together.
They sail on for a while, when suddenly a storm breaks loose. The boat begins to fill with water. Realizing that sinking in inevitable, the Brit screams "God save the Queen!", and then jumps off.
They remaining three are fine for a while, but water is still pouring into the boat. Realizing that sinking is once again inevitable, the French dude screams "Viva la France!" and jumps into the water.
Once again, the boat survives, until even more water starts to pour in. Worried, the Texan screams "Remember the Alamo!", and throws the Mexican off the boat.
A disastrous flood hit a small town...
and a Christian woman trapped on top of her roof. The water level was rising and she was in serious danger.
A rescue boat went pass and the rescuer shouted, "Get on the boat now, you're going to drown!".
"No, I believe that God will save me." The woman replied.
"Alright, then." The rescue boat left.
Later on, a helicopter went pass and the rescuer shouted, "Grab the rope and get on the helicopter now, you're going to drown!".
"No, I believe that God will save me." The woman replied.
"Alright, then." The rescue helicopter left.
Soon, the water level rose and she died.
As she approached God in heaven, she was really mad and yelled, "Why God, why didn't you save me? I believed in you!"
God calmed her down and said, "Well, I did send the boat and the helicopter."
A Senior Officer and his Recruit
Once upon a time in the army, there was an extremely unreasonable and terrifying Officer. Everyone despised him. One day, the Officer slipped on wet rocks and fell into a river. And this Officer could not swim! A young recruit walked by and spotted him. Without hesitation, he dove in and rescued the man. Out of the water, the Officer gratefully thanked the recruit," Recruit, you saved my life! I'll do anything for you, just name one thing!" The recruit thought over it, and said," Okay, how about you do not every mention this to anyone?" The Officer was puzzled, "But why? Don't you want to be a hero?" The recruit glanced around nervously," If they find out, they'll throw ME into the river next!"
A religious lady is in her house when a flood is approaching...
Her neighbor came by with his pick up truck and said "hey myrna, i have room for you you and your chair, the flood is coming, lets go!"
She answered serenely, "no, I'm going to wait for the Lord to save me"
When the water had forced her to the second floor, a policeman in a boat came by and said Ma'am, c'mon, it's time to go."
She again answered serenely, "no, I'm going to wait for the Lord to save me"
When the water had forced her onto her roof, the coast guard lowered a man down to her who said "ma'am i'm here to rescue you, put this rope under your arms"
She again answered serenely, "no, I'm going to wait for the Lord to save me"
After she drowned, she met St. Peter and insisted on speaking to the Big Guy, whom she asked "Why didn't you come to save me?"
God replied "look lady, I sent you a truck, a boat, and a helicopter ..."
(heh)
Last went to temple when I was 13. Still remember this "joke."
A man jumps into the ocean and decides to put his life in God's hands. He is treading water for 45 mins when a tugboat comes by. The captain shouts to him, "get in and we will take you to shore!" The man calls back, "no thanks, I'm waiting for God to save me." The captain looks perplexed but drives away." Next, a helicopter pilot spots the man and lowers down a ladder. He calls down, "grab the ladder and we'll pull you up!" The man again tells him, "not thanks, I'm waiting for God! The man dies and is before God at the pearly gates. He is angry and asks God, "where were you when I needed you?" God replies, "who do you think sent the boat and helicopter?"
Pete and Repeat
Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete fell out and Repeat jumped in the water and saved Pete's life. Pete then asked Repeat to be the best man at his wedding. Pete's friends and family asked Pete what the name of his best man was to which he replied, Repeat. The family then repeated their question thinking Pete misheard them, to which Pete quickly caught on to the situation and informed him that his best man's name was in fact, Repeat. Then some noob created a joke about them. The noob was some distance cousin that nobody liked.
A man, a dog and a pig are in a boat...
Lost at sea, they wreck the boat and swim to a deserted island. Stranded there for months with little to do, the man begins to get urges and becomes oddly attracted to the pig. The man tries to mount the pig one day and out of no where the dog runs up and bites the man. Two days later, the man tries again. Again, the dog bites the man. The dog is not letting this happen. This continues to happen and suddenly, the man hears a cry from the water and sees a woman struggling as her boat is also wrecked and sinking. He quickly swims out to save the woman and brings her ashore. As she collects herself, she says to the man, "Thank you so much for saving my life! If there is anything I can do for you, and I mean anything, it will be done!" The man replies, "Can you take that dog for a walk?"
A man of God floating around in the ocean after a shipwreck.
Suddenly a small vessel appears. The captain offers to save him. The man replies: "No, i'm fine. God will save me." The Captain leaves him.
After some time, another boat appears. This time, a fishing boat. The fishermen quickly throw in a net into the water and asks the man to grab onto it so they can pull him in. He respectfully declined and said: "God will save me. Dont worry, i have faith".
The man eventually dies and goes to heaven where he meets God. The man says: "i had total faith in you. Why didn't you save me?"
To which god says "Idiot! i sent you two boats."
A man wants to prove there is a God.
While there is a flood, a man wants to prove there is a god. When the water is down to his knees, a rescue boat arrives. He refuses to leave in it and says "God will save me." When the water is to his chest, another boat arrives, to which he says the same thing. When the water is at his chin, a helicopter arrives, but he denies it again, so he drowns. When he ascends up to heaven, he confronts God and says, "Why didn't you save me?" To which God replies, "What do you mean? I sent two boats and a helicopter!"
A religious man is on his boat at sea
A religious man is on his boat at sea. Hes all alone when his boat starts to sink. Luckily a nearby boat sees that he is sinking and goes over to rescue him. The rescuer shouts from his boat "climb aboard, ill save you". The religious man shouts back "no thank you, god will save me." So the rescuer continues onward.
1 hour later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by to save him. Again, the religious man says "No thank you. God will save me." The rescuer continues onward.
Another hour passes and the water level is now up to his neck when yet a third boat arrives to help him out. But again the religious man says "No thank you. God will save me".
Soon after that, the water raises over his head and he drowns and dies. When he gets to heaven he goes up to God and says "hey God, why didn't you save me?". And God says "dude i tried. I sent three boats".
a young lady in a purity group is on a flight that crashes in the desert...
as she's wandering she sees an oasis off the horizon! as she's running to it she comes across two men.
they speak little English but understand enough to know what happened to her. so, one of the men offers her his canteen of water.
she says "oh bless you! but I cannot accept, god has provided me an oasis over the horizon!"
he tries to offer her again but she refuses, says a prayer, and runs off out of sight.
one of the men asks the other, "did she take of your water?"
and he says "no, I think she's saving herself for mirage."
A Rabbi, A Priest, and an Imam...
A rabbi, a priest, and an imam were on a ship. Suddenly, the ship hit a reef just under the water and started sinking. The rabbi said to the priest and imam, "We must save the children.!"
The imam had already run to the lifeboats, yelling "Screw the children!," to which the priest replied, "Do we have time?"
A UFO landed in the Vatican and the friendly Aliens where greeted by the pope
Pope: What a great honour having the first sign of foreign life in the Univers visiting my humble home. Now, let me tell you about our saviour and king in heaven, Jesus Christ, who saved us all and currently we await his return to us.
Alien Leader: Jesus Christ you say? Long hair, beard, always in white clothes and is in his mid-thirties? Sure we know this guy.. great guy! Whenever he visits us he cure our sick, turn some water into wine (great laugh!), show us his walking-on-water-trick and then we throw a great party and serve him pancakes. He pops up every 2 years or so. Anyway, what did you guys do?
THREE vampires walk into a restaurant one casual night.
The host welcomed them in and showed them their seats.
While they were seated, a waiter comes by to ask for their orders:
Vampire 1: "I'm hungry and have saved a lot of money for such an occasion. I'll have a glass of your finest human blood"
Vampire 2: "I'm kinda saving up for stuff, so I'll just have a cup of raw pig blood."
Vampire 3: "I don't have a lot of money with me today, so I'll just have a cup of hot water."
The two vampires and the waiter look at him with contempt
Vampire 3: "What're you looking at me for? I picked this pantyliner from the street so I'm just gonna make tea."
A mother is watching her son play on the beach
when a huge wave comes and takes him into the waters. She looks up and pleads, "Please God, save my son! He means so much to me. Please bring him back."
A couple of seconds later, another huge wave comes and washes the boy back onto the sand, good as new. She looks back up to the sky and says:
"Hey! He had a hat!"
My roommate complained about me peeing in the shower, but to my way of thinking it's just a sensible way to save water.
Also, it's not like I'm going to miss from less than arm's length away.
And even if I do splash on her feet, it rinses right off at once.
A German lifesaver carries a dog that nearly drowned from the beach...
He plopped it down on the sand and did CPR, as the dog's owner watched nervously from aside.
The dog spat out water and stood up— the lifesaver saved it.
"Oh my goodness, thank you so much for saving my dog!" the owner said, "Are you a vet?"
"Vet? VET???" the German excalimed, "I'M LITERALLY SOAKING!"
A man's house is drowning
The boat tries to save him, but the man says:
"No, no the god will save me"
The water level rises up, and big ship tries to save him, but the man says:
"No, no the god will save me"
The water level rises up, and helicopter tries to save him, but the man says:
"No, no the god will save me"
The man drowned and died.
He goes to heaven's gates and asks st. Peter
"why god didn't save me??"
St. Peter asks god:
"Hey, you remember this imbecile, that you sent a boat, ship and a helicopter?"
So a s**... house painter gets a contract to paint a rectory.
Being the swindler cheapskate he is, he stirs water into the paint to save a buck. The painter hastily slaps the paint onto the rectory, and right as he applies the last s**..., the weather, which had been perfectly clear and sunny, instantly went dark, and a torrential rain poured down. The cheap paint instantly washes away with the deluge, and the painter, furious with the turn of luck falls to his knees and shakes his fists to the sky.
"WHY GOD, WHY?" He shouts.
An earthshaking voice booms in response **"REPAINT, REPAINT: THIN NO MORE"**
One day I'll have to cook for myself to save money.
I'm telling my mother that I'll have to get better at cooking to save money when I move away. My 13 y.o. sister interrupts by saying, "Your water bill from flushing so much will make up for that."
A monkey and a Lizard are sitting on a tree smoking some w**....
After some time the lizard becomes thirsty and decides to go to the river to drink some water.
When he gets there, he falls in and is saved by a crocodile. After Explaining how he got high, The Crocodile decides to investigate.
When the crocodile reaches the tree, he calls out to the monkey. Still high, the monkey looks down and almost falls in shock: "Yo Man, How much water did you drink?"
An old joke
The man was trying to learn swimming and one day was about to get drowned in the pool during practice; he was saved by one of those helping him at the last moment. As they got him out of the water, he looked at the others and said: I will never get in water again until i learn swimming!
Ps: this is an ancient greek joke from a 4th-century book of collection of jokes, so…
During a water shortage, the government encouraged us to p**... in the shower to save the water from flushing
I now have to shower 3-4 times a day and it's not clear to me how this is helping with the water shortage…