Sauce Jokes

What are some Sauce jokes?

Im surprised that Roy Moore wants a recount; a large gap in numbers had never bothered him before.

Get it?



My wife gave me some bad news today

"But," she said, "I bought your favorite soy sauce to help cheer you up."

"Great," I said. "Just Kikkoman when he's down, huh?"

I'm very soy for that pun. I'll just wok away now.

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme.

Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*

Why is soy sauce forbidden in fights?

'Cause you should never Kikkoman when he's down.

Best lines when dealing with telemarketers

Some of the better ones

* City Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em
* Mario's Pizzaria and Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, may I take your order?
* Roadkill Cafe, you kill it, we grill it
* Mort's Mortuary, you slice 'em, we ice 'em
* Bob's Back Alley Abortion Parlour, you rape 'em, we scrape 'em, no fetus can beat us

Anyone have more?

A man goes to the dentist for a check-up

"Uh oh" the dentist says, "looks like your denture plate is eroding a bit. Have you been eating any new foods lately?"

The man thinks for a moment and says "you know, my wife has been using a lot of hollandaise sauce lately. She's been putting it on every dish."

"Ah, that explains it" the dentist replies. "We'll have to make you a new denture plate, but this one will need to be made of chrome."

"Chrome?" The man asks in surprise. "Why chrome?"

"Well, you know what they say", replies the dentist.

"There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise"

Two men with Alzheimer's are sat in a park...

... when they hear an ice-cream van pull up nearby. Bob turns to Bill and asks 'do you want an ice-cream Bill?'
Bob says 'yes please, but don't forget the chocolate sauce.'

Bob says 'I won't forget, don't worry. Anything else?'

Bill says 'in that case, I'll have some chopped nuts on it too. Don't forget now.'

Bob says 'I won't, don't worry. Chocolate sauce and chopped nuts, coming right up' and

Bob wanders off in the direction of the ice-cream van.

After 40 minutes, Bob finally turns up with two hot-dogs. Bill says 'you fool Bob! I knew you'd forget! I wanted mustard on mine!'

Jar Full of $10 Bills

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of $10 bills on the bar. He goes to the barkeep and says "Hey, what's up with that jar?"
The bartender responds "Well, you put in 10 bucks, do 3 challenges, and if you do them you get the whole jar."
The man says "Wow that's pretty cool, what are the challenges?"
The barkeep lists "Well, first ya gotta drink a whole bottle of hot sauce, and no nursing. Second, there's a dog out back who has a sore tooth and he's real grouchy, and you gotta take out the bad tooth bare handed. Last, there's this old lady upstairs who's never done the hokey pokey, if ya know what I mean, and you gotta fix that."
The man replies in disgust "I can't do any of those!" So the man gets drunk. Being drunk, he decides he can do anything and says "Hand me the bottle of hot sauce." So the bartender hands the man the bottle and the man drinks the whole, straight down. He then goes outside to deal with the dog. As the door shuts you hear yelping and screaming and hollering and growling and then.... dead silence... The door creaks open and the man walks in. He's all covered in blood, his shirts torn, he's missing hair... and in a drunken slur he asks "Where's the old lady with the tooth problem?"

I don't understand people who don't like kids.

Seriously, you probably didn't use the right kind of sauce

Why did the Mexican put hot sauce on his taco?

Por flavor

A man and a woman are on their fourth date at a fancy restaurant.

Things are getting pretty serious.

They look at each other and the man says: "I'm not sure how to say this."

She responds excitedly: "Just say it! Just say it!"

Him: "I don't know if I can."

Her: "Just say it!"

Him: "Wor-chester-shire sauce."

what do you call 6.02 X 10^23 atoms of avocado dipping sauce?

one guacamole

Best way to answer a call: Mario's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic: Your Loss is Our Sauce

self.Jokes

What do you call a noble hot sauce?

Sir Racha.

I don't know how to say this, but

can you pass the Worcestershire sauce?

A blonde and brunette were in a local Walmart

A blonde and brunette were in a local Walmart when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.
The brunette won 1st place, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti.
The blonde won 6th prize, a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the women met back at Wal-Mart. The blonde asked the brunette how she liked her prize, to which the brunette replied,
"Great, I love spaghetti!"
"How about you? How's the toilet brush?"
"Not so good," replied the blonde.
"I think I'm gonna go back to paper."

A gentleman orders a spinach omelette at a diner.

He asks his waitress if she had some hollendaise sauce to go along with his omelette, she said "I sure do, and I'll even bring it on our special chrome dishes."

He was confused a bit, but he didn't say anything. A few minutes later he got his omelette and sure enough, it was on a dish made entirely out of chrome. The man was very curious. He noticed he was the only one in the diner who had a dish like that.

He finished his omelette and when the waitress came by to leave the check he stopped her. "Excuse me Miss, but I've gotta ask you, why did you serve my omelette on a chrome dish?"

"You ordered it with hollendaise sauce right?"

"Yes"

"Well silly, everyone knows there's no plate like chrome for the hollendaise."

What did the black guy get on his SATs?

Barbecue Sauce

Why is it easy to tell when you use the wrong sauce?

Heinz sight is 20 20

I ate a salad for dinner!

It was mostly tomatoes and croutons.

Really just one, big round crouton covered in tomato sauce.

And cheese.

... I had a pizza.

What do you call a bad dream about sauce?

A nightmarinara.

What do you call an Italian neighborhood full of crime, tomato sauce, prostitution and meatballs?

The spaghetto

How does a spanish condiment identify itself?

Soy sauce

[OC] Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?

Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

I like my women like i like my coffee...

...Always there to brighten my morning

...Decaffeinated

...Black and strong

...Tall

...Grande

...Brazilian

...With sauce

...Twice before I leave the house

...Right before I smoke

...Bitter and cold

...At the end of the day, scraped off the bottom of a pot

...Slow roasted

...Ground up in my freezer

...With boiling water poured over them

...Light and sweet

...A day old

What did the spaghetti say to the meatball at dinner time?

Pasta sauce

Spanish Dad Joke

A mexican father and son were at the mall and the son finally convinced his dad to try Chinese food.
"But it's so dry!" said the father.
"No it's not, they put lots of stuff on their plates," replied the son.
"Like what?" the father asked.
"Soy Sauce" he answered.
The father stared for a minute and then said, "Hola Sauce... *soy Dad*"

Artists cover their mistakes with paint, chefs cover their mistakes with sauce. How do doctors cover their mistakes?

With dirt.

So, did you hear what Lateesha get on her SATs?

Barbecue sauce.

A man visits a dentist

He has horrible pain in his mouth.

The dentist examines him, and says, "There is extensive damage in here, what is your diet like?"
The man says, "Hollandaise sauce. Morning, noon and night. I eat it on everything."
"Well, the damage seems very extensive, but I think I can fix it. You will need several root canals, and then I will install a chrome plate."
"A chrome plate? That seems really severe."
"Don't worry, you will be able to eat anything you want. No problems."
"Even hollandaise? I really love that sauce."
"Why sure, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

I found out my husband got fired from his job today. In order to cheer him up I got him his favorite soy sauce.

He said to me

"Oh I see. Kikkoman when he's down, huh?"

A man tells his wife he's not feeling well.

When she comes home from the grocery store, she brings him his favorite soy sauce to cheer him up. He says Oh, I see, Kikkoman when he's down .

How do dogs make a sauce?

They start with a rooooux!

A man goes to the dentist...

A dentist found something wrong with one of his patients. The upper plate that had been put in earlier was corroding. "What have you been eating?" the dentists asked the man.


"All I can think of is that about three months ago my wife made some asparagus and put Hollandaise sauce on it. I loved it so much, I put it on everything now."


"That's the problem," the dentist said, frowning. "Hollandaise sauce contains lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."


"Why chrome?"


"It's simple. Everyone knows there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

A man and his corroded dental appliance..

A man returned for the third time to the dentist to get his dental appliance replaced due to corrosion.

The dentist asked if he ate a highly acid diet, or was fond of citrus, etc.

The man replied that his wife made an excellent holllandaise sauce that was so good he put it on just about everything, and of course it has a lot of lemon juice in it.

"OK" the dentist said, "I have just the thing. I'll order a new one made with chromium"

"That will fix it?" the man asked.

"Absolutely", the dentist replied

"There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise".

What did the saucer say to the teacup?

You have a hot bottom.

Did you hear about the Boston chef who died?

They could not find the sauce of his illness

What's the best thing to give a dog with a fever?

Tomato sauce and mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!

A man walks into a diner, and orders eggs Benedict with hollandaise sauce, served on a hubcap.

The waiter, perplexed, asks him why. He responds:

There's no plates like chrome for the hollandaise...

If I have to hear any more jokes about soy sauce

I will Kikkoman!

Sorry, maybe I'll think of a better joke Tamari.

What do you call a funny jar of sauce

Lmayo

Dinner

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"

The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

A long married couple sits in the kitchen.

The wife cooks something, while the husband sits at his table eagerly waiting for his meal. Suddenly the wife soils herself with tomato sauce and turns around to her loved one.

"Well, damn...Look at this, I look like a pig!"

To which the husband responds: "AND you soiled yourself..."



Sounds better in Viennese tongue...but, yeah...

Ice cream van man found dead on the floor of his ice cream van, covered in sprinkles and raspberry sauce

Police are not treating the death as suspicious.

They believe he topped himself.

So a guy goes to his dentist...

...to get some a prosthetic plate fitted. Well, a month or so later he goes back. The new plates just don't feel like they are sitting correctly and feel as if they are a little loose. His dentist takes a look and asks, "Have you been eating anything particularly acidic?"

"Well... my wife does make this great Hollandaise sauce and I love it. I have been putting it on everything lately."

The dentist says, "Yep. That's it. You see the lemon juice in that Hollandaise is wearing away at the edges of your plate. But, not a problem, I can replace it with a chrome plate."

"Oh? Would that really be better?"

"Of course! Theres no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

My wife asked why the spaghetti sauce tasted odd

I told her I didn't have the thyme to make it right.

If you mix taco bell sauce into your ramen..

It tastes exactly like poverty.

Love is sweet and sour.

Love is a funny thing. One minute you're thinking "Wow, so this is what true love feels like", and the next minute the you're banned for "eating Chick Fil A sauce provocatively".

What did Jamal get on his SATs?

Barbeque sauce.

I bought a spray used for destroying a particular pasta sauce.

It's a pestocide.

My local ice cream man was found dead this morning.

He was covered in nuts, sprinkles and raspberry sauce.

Apparently he topped himself.

What's a skeletons favourite sauce?

Grave-y

A couple went out to eat ...

A couple went out to eat at a nice restaurant. The waiter came over to give them the specials of the night, "For our main courses, we have a nice roasted Salmon with a Cranberry-Mustard sauce or a tender Chicken fried steak." The lady replied that she'd have the salmon.

The waiter said, "Very good, madam. What about the vegetable?"

She said, "Oh, I'm sure he'll just order the Chicken Fried Steak."

My wife asked how you could tell if spaghetti was done, so I said throw it against the wall. If it sticks, it's done.

Imagine my surprise when I went into the kitchen to find sauce all over the wall.

A lot of people think that IPhone X price is too much, and no one will buy it.

But over the last week people paid over $800 for a packet of sauce, so anything must be possible.

I invented a relish made out of my own cash.

It's my main sauce of income.

Did you hear about the ice-cream vendor found dead in his van covered in strawberry sauce and chocolate sprinkles?

Police say he topped himself.

A husband and a wife were having dinner…

… the wife dropped some tomato sauce on her top and said 'ugh, I look like a pig'.

The husband responds 'AND you have tomato sauce on your top!'

What do you call taco sauce protectors?

Mild Protective Services

You know as long as you keep babies well fed they're usually pretty good...

But I like mine with a little BBQ sauce.

What do you get when you shove an iPhone into a blender?

Apple Sauce

How to make Sauce jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Sauce to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Sauce? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Sauce pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes