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Saturday Jokes

162 saturday jokes and hilarious saturday puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about saturday that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for some laughs? Check out our collection of Saturday jokes. From knock-knock jokes to silly riddles, we've got all the jokes you need to make your next party a hit.

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Funniest Saturday Short Jokes

Short saturday jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The saturday humour may include short weekend jokes also.

  1. Monday - Greg, Tuesday - Ian, Wednesday - Greg, Thursday - Ian, Friday - Greg, Saturday - Ian, Sunday - Greg The Gregorian calendar
  2. Our President Elect is a real tough guy... The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a broadway musical.
  3. Why do I always feel great on Saturday and Sunday, and sick on all the other days? Maybe I just have a weekend immune system.
  4. Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are week days.
    My daughter just told me this joke and I'm busting with pride.
  5. She said: "Come to my place on Saturday. There will be nobody home." So I went to her place and rang the doorbell. There was nobody home.
  6. Valentines Day is on Monday Funerals usually take place on Saturday and Sunday. After the burial the flowers will still be fresh. What you do with this information is up to you.
  7. John Travolta was admitted to a hospital with COVID symptoms last Sunday. It was just a Saturday Night fever.
  8. John Travolta tested negative for Coronavirus last night. Turns out is was just a Saturday Night Fever.
  9. Man, Saturday Night Live has really been going after Donald Trump lately I guess it makes sense though, since Donald is such a sketchy guy
  10. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. ahh, those were the days...

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Saturday One Liners

Which saturday one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with saturday? I can suggest the ones about fun and saturday work.

  1. Denial, anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance Saturday, Sunday
  2. What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
  3. Autopsy club meeting Saturday! Its open Mike night.
  4. North Korea is calling for war. In other news, it's Saturday.
  5. Did you know Saturday and Sunday are the strongest days? The rest are just weekdays...
  6. Why are Saturday and Sunday strong? Because all the other days are week days.
  7. My body only fights off illness on Saturday and Sunday I have a weekend immune system
  8. What days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday, because Mon-Fri are weak days
  9. What are the strongest days? Saturday and Sunday; the rest are weekdays.
  10. My Saturday was going pretty well... Until I realised it was Sunday
  11. Why are Saturdays and Sundays the strongest days? Because all others are weak days.
  12. How does a depressed person view life? There are sad days, and also Saturdays...
  13. What is The Weeknd's real name? Saturday Sunday
  14. Why couldn't the grape help his friend move on Saturday? because he was in a jam
  15. Some Sundays can be sad but the day before is always a sadder day. Saturday!

Saturday Sunday Jokes

Here is a list of funny saturday sunday jokes and even better saturday sunday puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Do you know why Saturday and Sunday are considered strong days? Because the rest are weak days
  • I just discovered I can't get sick on Saturdays or Sundays Turns out I have a weekend immune system.
  • Why are Saturday and Sunday the strongest days of the week? Because Monday through Friday are weekdays.
  • What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays.
    I know, I know... even I'm ashamed of myself for posting this!
  • Why did Saturday and Sunday win the body-building competition? Because Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday are week days.
  • Why do Tennesseans always wear orange? On Saturdays they watch the Vols. On Sundays they hunt. The rest of the week they are picking up trash by the side of the road.
  • What are the 7 Irish drinking holidays? Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
  • I get laid almost every day of the week. Almost got laid on Monday, almost got laid on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday, almost on Thursday, almost on Friday, almost on Saturday, and almost on Sunday.
  • Saturday Night Live is getting a name change! Saturday Night Live is getting a name change. It's now called "Sunday Morning DVR."
  • Chuck Norris skipped school two days in a row... Those days are now Saturday and Sunday.

Friday Saturday Jokes

Here is a list of funny friday saturday jokes and even better friday saturday puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Monday through Friday I have a friend who, Monday through Friday seems very strong, but Saturday and Sunday he's weekend.
  • blonde joke Why are there so many dumb blonde jokes? it gives brunnettes and redheads something to do on friday and saturday nights!
  • Friday: hunting in the dark. Saturday: hunting in the dark. Sunday: hunting in the dark. Yet another superb owl weekend.
  • I gave my wife 8 inches last week. 2 inches on Monday, 2 inches on Wednesday, 2 inches on Friday, and 2 inches on Saturday.
  • I work out almost every day. Friday I almost worked out, Saturday I almost worked out, Sunday I almost worked out...
  • Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday got into a fight... They wanted to see who was the weekest
  • Friday was a sad, odd day. But today is an even Saturday!
  • "Work is always dead on Friday's..." "...and Saturday's and Sunday's and Monday's..."
    ~ Cemetery Worker
  • What is sadder than Friday? Saturday.
  • Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
Saturday joke

Saturday Work Jokes

Here is a list of funny saturday work jokes and even better saturday work puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did Dave Grohl start singing whilst working Saturday morning in a pastry shop? "I've got another confection to bake..."
  • If The Weekend canceled his tour, would it be next Weekend, the Weekend after next or three Weekends from this Saturday?
  • I heard the elves at Santa's workshop hot box the workshop every Saturday and just let a 3d printer do all the work. Though it's not surprising since the North Pole is already known as a chill place.
  • Tomorrow is Saturday... ...that means i only have to worry about work, i don't have to actually be there.

Saturday Morning Jokes

Here is a list of funny saturday morning jokes and even better saturday morning puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So I bought some shoes from a drug dealer Saturday morning.. Man I dont know what he laced em with but I was trippin' all weekend.
  • If you start to cut the grass at 9am in the morning on a Saturday, please stop You're ruining my bagpipe practice

Saturday Night Jokes

Here is a list of funny saturday night jokes and even better saturday night puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Trump may not fulfill all of his campaign promises... ...but he sure is making Saturday Night Live great again.
  • Few Saturdays I switch off the light and stay the whole night in darkness So that the neighbors might think that I've an active social life...
  • John Travolta tested negative for covid-19 last night... Turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever...
  • What announcement most people are still expecting to hear from Donald Trump? "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"
  • Why did the ghost cry every weekend? 'Cause it's another Saturday night and he ain't got no body.
  • Number mystery. On saturday night, 789.
    When asked why 9 went missing, 6.87.
  • "Saturday Night Live is in a new golden era" I bought a dictionary the other day, the SNL edition. Oddly enough the page containing the word 'subtlety' was missing.
  • What do you call a piece of clothing worn by bees that give them Saturday night fever? A bee-gilet.
  • Where do all blonde jokes come from? Brunettes sitting around on a Saturday night.
  • Why didn't John Travolta go to church on Sunday? He had a Saturday Night Fever
Saturday joke, Why didn't John Travolta go to church on Sunday?

Amusing Saturday Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about saturday you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nightclub jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make saturday pranks.

Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle's ideals of getting America fit again.

One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.

Mowing the grass.

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting on my porch, drinking a beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
I calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass."

Dating in 1962

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"
"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.
"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The d**... dance is called the Twist!

The half-wit

A man owned a small farm in Norfolk.
The Department of wages claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.
'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep.
'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him 200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her 150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about 10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'
'That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit,' says the agent.
'That would be me,' replied the farmer.

I was in a pub...

I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"
So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's pretty much the last thing I remember...

The Montana Department of Employment

The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
RANCHER: Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.
He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
AGENT: That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.
RANCHER: That would be me.

In honor of the Vikings/Packers game on Saturday...

How can you tell if a Packers fan is mad at you?
They grit their tooth at you.

One sunny Saturday morning...

Joe and his buddy Ryan decide to go golfing. Joe was setting up his tee when a f**... procession drove by on the nearby road. Joe immediately took off his hat, and stood perfectly still until the procession had passed. Ryan said "Joe, that's one of the most respectful things I've ever seen." Joe responds, "Well, we were married for 35 years after all."

Advice from my father

Son, you need a woman who can cook, a woman who can clean, a woman that is great in bed. Most importantly, you must make sure these three women never meet.
Happy Saturday night from Pennsylvania

A guy goes golfing with a pal on Saturday morning.

When they're on the eighth hole, they see a f**... procession pass the golf course, at which point the guy stops, lowers his head for a few seconds, and then heads to the tee.
Whereupon his friend says, "That's so respectful. Here we are playing golf and you take a moment to pay your respects."
To which the guy responds, "Well, we had a great marriage."

It's a Saturday evening...

It's a Saturday evening. A man goes up to the register in a supermarket, bearing a six pack of beer, a bag of chips, some dip, a pint of ice cream, and toilet paper. The cashier says, "Single, huh?"
The man laughs and says, "Yeah, how can you tell?"
The cashier says, "Because you're ugly."

The taxation office suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand

The taxation office suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an auditor to investigate him.
Auditor: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."
Boat Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bundaberg r**... and a dozen Crown Lagers every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally."
Auditor: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one."
Boat Owner: "That'll be me. What'd you want to know?"

A man owned a small farm

A man owned a small farm near Maddock. The North Dakota Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well, there's my field hand who's been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week, plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works here about 18 hours a day. He makes $10 a week and I go into town and buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night," replied the farmer.
"That's the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit," says the agent.
"That would be me," replied the farmer sadly.

A man lives on the 15th floor of an apartment.

One rainy Saturday afternoon he walks out onto his balcony and sticks his hand out over the edge to see if it's raining or not, and a glass eye falls into his hand. He looks up, and there is a gorgeous woman standing on the balcony above him, who apologises and says she was just leaning out to check the rain and her glass eye fell out. She asks him to bring it up the stairs to her, which he does immediately. To say thanks, she kisses him on the mouth. Mildly surprised, he asks, "Do you do that to every guy you meet?"
And she replies, "Only the ones that catch my eye."

A husband was in big trouble...

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat."
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
f**... arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

Father and son in supermarket. "Dad, what are these?"

"That's a 3pack of condoms son for secondary school lads. 1 for Friday night, 1 for Saturday night and 1 for Sunday night."
"What about the 6pack dad?"
"Those are for University lads. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Satuday night and 2 for Sunday night."
"Well dad, what about the 12pack then?"
"Married men son. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March ..."

My boss recently fired me...

So, my boss recently fired me and he sent me an email that read "I did not want to fire you, but I had to. You were slacking on every project I assigned to you and you get too easily distracted. Please stop by and pick up your things, OK? I expect to see that your office is empty by Saturday."
I then realized how much OK resembled a stick-man.

COUNTING CONDOMS

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the c**... display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one c**...?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."

Having a t**... with a mom and daughter

So it was Saturday night and I had no date and decided to drop in at the bar to get drunk and hopefully a girl to get laid with. As I started downing a few shots I noticed this hot looking mature lady ( must be in her 50s) sitting all alone at a corner table getting drunk and this thought came to mind that if she looks so hot for her age then she must be having a hot looking daughter as well and wish I could have a t**... with them. So I went to her table and asked her if I could join and to my delight she said yes. I chatted her up and next thing I know we caught a taxi and proceeded to her home. In the taxi I told her about my fantasy of having a t**... with a mother daughter combo and to my delight she felt it was a great idea and so we reached her home and as we entered she let out a shout,"Mom you still awake?"

Where do cows go on Saturday nights?

The s**... house

And that's why I never argue with my wife.

Wife : Don't forget to pick up kids from school.
Me : It's Saturday, they're both upstairs.
Wife : It's Wednesday and we've three kids.

My 11-year-old grandson spent a beautiful

My 11-year-old grandson spent 
a beautiful Saturday playing video games. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, Someday, you're going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom's basement playing video games all day!
His reply: I can only dream.

A mother took her son to the zoo on a beautiful Saturday morning.

Her son points and says, "Look mom, a fricken' elephant!"
Not certain about what she heard and a little upset she ask, "What did you say!?"
"A fricken' elephant!"
Really upset now, she asks "Who taught you how to talk like that!?"
He pointed and said "It says it right there on that sign!"
A.F.R.I.C.A.N Elephant

A little boy walks in on his parents having s**....

"Mommy, why are you on top of Daddy?" he says. The mom thinks fast and says "Well, your daddy has a big belly, so sometimes I get on top of him and try to flatten it out." The boy says "well that will never work." "Why?" says the mom. "Because when you go out shopping on Saturdays, the lady next door comes over and blows it right back up again."

I lost my dishwasher, washingmashine, dryer, iron, stove, and vacumcleaner today.

Her f**... will be this saturday.

Selling Condoms

An 18-yr-old starts work as a pharmacist's assistant. The pharmacist is showing the new kid around the aisles when they stop at the c**... display and the kid asks why they come in different quantities per package.
The pharmacist tells the noob that the 3-packs are for high school guy, who gets it on once on Friday night, once on Saturday and once on Sunday.
The 6-packs are for the more-experienced college guys, who do it twice each on Friday night, Saturday and Sunday.
So the kid says, "what about these 12-packs?"
The pharmacist replies "the 12-packs are for the guys who've been married for a long time - January, February, March..."

A man and his son were at the grocery store today...

They were using a cart that had a child-size car attached to the front with the kid inside. While I was shopping, I noticed the dad started hitting the cart into the wall, it was a pretty bizarre sight to see. Before I could intervene, the kid yells,
Kid: DAAAAAD, stop!!! What are you doing?! Stooop!
Kid: Daaaad?! We're not going anywhere! What are you doing?
The dad finally stops after a minute, looks his son straight in the eye and says, as a matter of fact,
Dad: "I don't know son, you're the one who's driving."
I've never laughed so hard while eavesdropping, dad jokes are great. Happy Saturday!

Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th.

"Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."

Wife calls her scientist husband...

"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."
"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"
"Whats that?"
"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for some protein, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine...
It's 4 or 5 round experiment.. So I will be late."
"Oh dear.. I won't disturb you. Take your time.."

David calls up his brother Mike to schedule their annual family trip.

He tells him they're leaving Saturday to go to Detroit. Mike asks, "wait a minute, why Detroit?"
David answers, "Well, you know that thing old ladies do, where they set up a map on a dart board, and wherever it lands is where they go?"
Mike couldn't resist a chuckle, and says back to him "Yeah, i know that one."
"Well, I missed and hit the trash can."

Do you work on weekends?

My boss just asked, "Do you think you can come in on Saturday this week? I know you enjoy your weekends, but I need you here."
I replied, "Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though as the public transport is bad on weekends."
He said, "Okay, when do you think you'll get here then?"
I said, "Monday."

I hate it when my neighbor mows the lawn at 7 in the morning

This one Saturday morning I get woken up by my neighbor's mower going at 7 in the morning. I have quite a bad hangover and I just decide screw him he can cut around me. .

A college professor is driving home drunk one Saturday night....

When he gets pulled over. The cop comes up to his window and asks him:
"Excuse me sir, you were speeding, you ran a red light and you appear to be drunk, where are you going?"
The professor replies: "I am currently on my way to a lecture concerning the dangers of drinking, smoking and staying up late."
The police officer says: "Who could possibly be giving that kind of lecture at this time?"
The professor responds: "My wife."

I have s**... almost every day

Almost on Sunday
Almost on Monday
Almost on Tuesday
Almost on Wednesday
Almost on Thursday
Almost on Friday
And almost on Saturday

I said to my husband that we should start a new tradition of daytime Saturday s**....

I told him we should really try to fit it in.

A father and his three daughters...

are sitting at home on a Saturday evening.
There is a knock at the door. The father answers to a young man.
Hi, my name is Lance, I'm here for Nance. We're going to the dance.
Nance left with Lance.
15 minutes later, another young man knocks at the door.
Hi, my name Joe and I'm here for Flo. We're going to watch the show.
Flo left with Joe
A third young man arrives.
Hi, my name is Chuck- the father shot Chuck

What c**... thing is guaranteed to occur in the middle of a Saturday?

A 'turd'

Kid asks is paw why do these condoms come in 3 packs?

Father: Those are for highschool boys son. One for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Son: Then what is this 6 pack for?

Father: Those are for college men! 2 for Friday 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday!

Son: WOW!! And the 12 pack of condoms?

Father: Sigh.... Those are for married men. One for January.... One for February..... One for...

When I was a kid, my mom always used to tell me to put a clean pair of socks on, everyday...

By the time Saturday rolled around, I could hardly even fit in my shoes...

How much do you get paid?

The homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes one Saturday morning and set about all the chores he'd been putting off for weeks. He'd cleaned out the garage, pruned the hedges, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulls up and yells out her window, Say, what do you get for yard work?
The homeowner thought for a moment, then answered, The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her.

My girlfriend is off out to buy a d**... outfit on Saturday.

Although she prefers to call it a wedding dress.

My Sister got left at the altar on Saturday...

it's safe to say the weekend went off without a hitch.

**INFINITY WAR SPOILERS**

Ok now that all the nerds are gone, there's a party going on at my place this Saturday. hmu if you're interested.

I think as marriages go, we're doing absolutely awesome, I mean I get to sleep with my wife nearly every day!

Nearly on Monday,
nearly on Tuesday,
nearly on Wednesday,
nearly on Thursday,
nearly on Friday,
nearly on Saturday and
nearly on Sunday

The Nigerian football team were so disappointed with Saturday's performance that they have said they will personally refund all expenses to fans who travelled to support them.

All they need to do is send bank details, sort codes & PINs, and they will transfer the money directly …

So the Deji vs Jake Paul boxing match is this Saturday

And if in the unlikely event of one of them dies,
Logan Paul will be there to record it

John Travolta Coronavirus joke

As see on the CNN John Travolta was hospitalised for a suspected Coronavirus. But doctors soon realised that it was only a Saturday Night Fever and he will be Staying Alive.

George wasn't feeling too good. He felt worn out.

"How's your s**... life?" asked the doctor.
"Every Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday, never fail", said George.
"Why not cut out Sunday?", suggested the doctor.
"I can't do that. It's the only day I'm home."

A couple are discussing starting a garden

"You know, I really love the roses and chrysanthemums," remarked the wife. "Maybe I'll start by planting those."
"Oh sure, why not," replied the husband. "Hey, let's start doing that now! It's a beautiful Saturday morning and we don't have anything else to do."
"Alright, let me just run to the store really quick then," said the wife. "You see, I haven't actually botany yet."

On Monday, h**... told 1 lie.

On Tuesday, he again told 1 lie.
On Wednesday, he told 2 lies.
On Thursday, 3.
On Friday, 5.
On Saturday, 8.
And on Sunday, h**... told 13 lies.
That is the fibber-n**... sequence.

John Travolta hospitalized for suspected COVID-19

However, doctors have confirmed that it was only Saturday Night Fever and they assure everyone he is Staying Alive.
Apparently, he had chills that were multiplying.

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting on my front door step, drinking a beer and watching my girlfriend mow the lawn.

The lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!" I smiled and calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass".

Today is devils day

June 6 Saturday

Pavlov sits in his house on a Saturday afternoon, drinking his tea.

When someone rings the doorbell.
He stands up quickly.
"I have to feed the dog!"

Misinterpretation

I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank quite a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar.  They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland ?"
One of them snapped back saying, "It's WALES , you friggin' idiot!"
So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland ?"
That's pretty much the last thing I remember...

A Muslim boy once asked his father: "why is it that Jews can't work on Saturday, Christians can't work on Sunday, but Muslims work on their holy day Friday?"

The dad looked down at his son and said, "God didn't need to force us to take a break because in His infinite wisdom He knew we'd never work that much to begin with."

If you think Thursday are depressing, wait two days

Then it would be a sadder day (Saturday)

Saturday joke, If you think Thursday are depressing, wait two days

jokes about saturday