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Satellite Jokes

61 satellite jokes and hilarious satellite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about satellite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for some laughs? Look no further! Whether you're into satellite dishes, satellite radio, satellite TV, VCRs, Spudnik, or even programmes, this article has some hilarious satellite jokes that are sure to have you in stitches.

Funniest Satellite Short Jokes

Short satellite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The satellite humour may include short astronaut jokes also.

  1. Two satellite dishes met on a roof... They hit it off and decided to get married. The ceremony was boring but the reception was great!
  2. Pakistan launches a rocket to Moon. Pakistani News channel reports: "Water and fishes found on Moon."
    BBC reports: "Pakistani satellite found in Arab sea."
  3. What did people say after two satellite dishes got married? The wedding was dull, but the reception was great.
  4. I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married. The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was amazing.
  5. My buddy got home today to find his wife had left him... She took his prized bob marley collection and the satellite dish.
    Feel sorry for him..... No Woman, No Sky.
  6. I got charged for a satellite dish the other day... I was furious. He told me it'd be on the house.
  7. Did anyone get a U2. Satellite Navigation System for Christmas? I am returning my one, The Streets have no name.
    And I still haven't found what I am looking for.
  8. The best place for a spy to go undiscovered is on a satellite Because in space, no one can hear you scheme.
  9. Someone called me on the phone and asked me if I wanted satellite radio. I said, are you Serius ?
  10. In a world controlled by AI and machines, two satellites decide to get married... ...Well the wedding wasn't too romantic but that reception was amazing!

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Satellite One Liners

Which satellite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with satellite? I can suggest the ones about missile and orbit.

  1. Two satellites get married The wedding was alright, but the reception was amazing!
  2. Two satellites got married the wedding was okay, but the reception was incredible!
  3. Two satellites got married The wedding wasn't very good, but the reception was great.
  4. I can't get my satellite radio to work I'm having sirius issues
  5. My satellite navigation told me to turn around. Now I can't see where I'm driving.
  6. What did the voyager 2 satellite say to neptune after it passed Saturn? I see Uranus!
  7. I had to pay for a satellite dish But the salesman said it was on the house.
  8. Yo momma so fat Her driver's license picture had to be taken by satellite
  9. Yo momma's so fat, her baby pictures were taken by satellite.
  10. What's worse than a satellite around Saturn? A probe in Uranus.
  11. How long does it take a satellite to reach Uranus? Bend over and I'll show you.
  12. Did you see the new satellite photo? It's out of this world!
  13. What satellite TV provider does ISIS use? Daesh Network
  14. A lesbian was unhappy with her Dish Network satellite TV bill...
  15. Did you know West Virginia has a state flower? They call it "the satellite dish"

Satellite Dish Jokes

Here is a list of funny satellite dish jokes and even better satellite dish puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Reception -An antenna and a satellite dish meet on a roof. The get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
  • My girlfriend walked out on me, with my Bob Marley CD and Satellite dish. Oh well, No Woman No Sky.
  • What does an astronaut eat it's food from? A satellite dish.
  • What's the small box on the back of a satellite dish called? A council flat.
  • A heart wrenching love story Two satellite dishes met on a roof.

    They fell in love.

    They got married.

    The reception was brilliant.
  • I just bought a satellite dish. This restaurant is something else.

Satellite Orbiting Jokes

Here is a list of funny satellite orbiting jokes and even better satellite orbiting puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Breaking: North Korea launches its first orbital satellite! Splunknik
  • Yo mamma so fat... ... she pulls satellites out of orbit with her gravity.
Satellite joke, Yo mamma so fat...

Satellite Radio Jokes

Here is a list of funny satellite radio jokes and even better satellite radio puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why are r**... crimes so hard to solve... Because everyone has the same DNA and there are no dental records.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Not original, I heard it on satellite radio yesterday.

Satellite Tv Jokes

Here is a list of funny satellite tv jokes and even better satellite tv puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How I reduce my Dad's satellite TV bill by about 45%. I block pay-per-view.
Satellite joke, How I reduce my Dad's satellite TV bill by about 45%.

Ridiculous Satellite Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about satellite you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean radar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make satellite pranks.

The CIA, MI5, and the KGB have a contest

The CIA, MI5, and the KGB have a contest to see who can find a white rabbit in the forest
The CIA comes in first place, finding the rabbit in fourteen hours. They used contacts, thermal vision, and satellites.
MI5 comes in second place, finding the rabbit in 24 hours using much of the same tactics
The KGB comes in last place. In one hour, they produced a bear, near beaten to death, who said "OK, OK, I admit it, I am a rabbit."

Out in space two alien life forms are speaking with each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."

Two satellites decide to get married.

The wedding wasn't "all that," but the reception was great!

We Indians have proved that

We can't only overload taxi's, auto's, buses, trains, lorries but also Satellites.

Two Aliens meet at a Bar in Deep Space

Two Aliens meet in a bar in deep space.
**First Alien:** On my way here I passed a beautiful blue world, 2/3 covered by water, The dominant race have discovered Satellite technology and Harnessed the power of nuclear weapons for defense.
**Second Alien:** Interesting, so it looks like we have an emerging intelligence in the Galaxy.
**First Alien:** That is what i thought but then I realized they pointed them at themselves.

Two aliens are flying near earth

The first one says, "The dominant life form here have developed satellite based nuclear weapons."
The second one says, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first one says, "I don't think so, they have it aimed at themselves."

I'm moving in a few days and I asked my neighbor if he wanted my satellite

Told em it's on the house.

Alien 1: The dominant life form on planet earth have developed satellite based nuclear weapons.

Alien 2: Are they an emerging intelligence?
Alien 1: I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves.

The Falcon Heavy is now the world's most powerful rocket

The Falcon Heavy can put around 140,000 pounds of cargo into lower Earth orbit, more than twice as much weight as any other operational rocket. This powerful vehicle could open up entirely new types of business for SpaceX: launching heavy national security satellites or even sending large modules or your mom into deep space.

In space, two aliens are talking to each other very closely

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"

The CIA, KGB and MI6 decide to have a contest.

Each is given the task to find a rabbit
realeased in the woods.
The CIA uses spyplanes and satellites and finds the rabbit in 2 hours.
The MI6 deploys recon and search teams and finds it in 3 hours.
The KGB return after 1 hour with a badly beaten bear who cries out "I am the rabbit and I surrender".

MI6, CIA and KGB are competing against each other...

Last competition. The mission is to find a bear in a 10000 sq/km forest
MI6 goes first. Using dogs and 1000 agents they have found a bear in 12 hours.
CIA goes next. Using satellites and heatvisors they found a bear in 6 hours
KGB goes last. Two agents enters a forest and came out of it in 5 minutes. One of them is holding a rabbit by his ears.
Judges- And?
One KGB agent hits a rabbit.
Rabbit - ok ok i confess i'm a bear!!!

Two satellites had a wedding

The wedding was c**... but the reception was amazing

One alien says to another, The dominant life forms on the planet earth appear to have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons.

The second alien replies, Are they an emerging intelligence?
The first alien says, I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves.

Satellite joke, What did the voyager 2 satellite say to Neptune after it passed Saturn?

jokes about satellite