Satanist Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Have you heard about the dyslexic satanist?

Sold his soul to Santa.

Hear about the Cadillac-worshipping Satanist?

He sold his soul to the Deville.

How much does a Satanist weigh?

A pentagram.

A zoophiliac, a necrophilliac, a masochist, a sadist, and a satanist are in a room

A zoophiliac, a necrophilliac, a masochist, a sadist, and a satanist are in a room together.
"I want to find a cat to fuck" says the zoophilliac

"We should sacrifice it to our dark Lord when you're done." says the satanist.

"Good idea, but we should cut its eyes out and skin it while its still alive before we kill it" says the sadist

"Then after we kill it we can fuck it!"says the necrophiliac

The masochist looks around the room. "meow" he says

Why did the satanist become a lawyer?

He wanted to be the devil's advocate.

I used to be a Satanist

I don't know what possessed me...

What do you call a Satanist dancer?

A ba'al-erina.

I don't know about you.

But I think satanists can go to hell.

Did you ever hear about the dyslexic Satanist?

He sold his soal to Santa

A farmer was asked why he specifically breed satanist Yaks on his farm..

...he said he simply enjoys the yakult.

What do you call a gay satanist?

Sack-Religious

Some of my Satan worshiping friends invited me to an open discussion on Satanism...

I'm not a Satanist myself, but I do like to play Devil's advocate...it was very confusing.

You hear of the dyslexic Satanist?

They play their vinyl records forward.

(Warning this is a religious joke, DO NOT read if you are sensitive to NSFW religious joke!)

If Satanism is the opposite of Christianity,

Then Satanist must be into MILF's.

What do you call a gay satanist?

Hellbent.

Why are satanists vegetarian?

Because they worship seitan.

What did the Ohioan Satanist say when he arrived to cult?

"Ohio Satan!"

Why did the satanists believe in Satan?

Because they knew it would be one hell of a religion.

I'm not a Satanist, but I still aborted my daughter.

It was very sad.

She lived.

What are the funniest satanist jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Satanist? Well, here are the best Satanist puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Satanist pick up lines to share with friends.

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