Santa Reindeer Jokes
57 santa reindeer jokes and hilarious santa reindeer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about santa reindeer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Santa Reindeer Short Jokes
Short santa reindeer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The santa reindeer humour may include short christmas reindeer jokes also.
- How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the reindeer drowned.
- Santa's reindeer had an issue with their dinner reservation. The restaurant simply refused to seat the Donner party.
- Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to spend Christmas together? Because they have herd immunity.
- How does Santa choose which female reindeer to breed with his prized stud? By choosing the one that's the best bang for the buck.
- What happens when you cross Santa Claus with five shots of tequila? Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.
- A little boy asks a dealer in an alley dressed like Santa Claus, "Santa, how do your reindeer fly?"
He replies, "With magic, of course!-
You want some magic?" - How many reindeer were left after Santa got stranded in the mountains? Only one. Donner ate the rest.
- All of Santa's reindeer celebrate their birthdays except one... Santa decided that the Donner Party was not to be repeated.
- Santa was late delivering presents on Christmas because his reindeer needed so many coffee breaks They were all star bucks
- Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled? Because they have a claus in their contract.
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Santa Reindeer One Liners
Which santa reindeer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with santa reindeer? I can suggest the ones about reindeer and santa and rudolph.
- Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? No, they already have names.
- What does santa do with a lazy reindeer? sleigh 'em
- Why doesn't Santa use reindeer milk in his coffee? He prefers non-deery creamer.
- How may reindeer does Santa have? 2, Rudolph and Olive the other reindeer
- Which was Santa's worst and least known reindeer? Olive.
Olive, the other reindeer. - what did the reindeer say when santa told him a funny joke You sleigh me
- What do you call Santa Clause's reindeer wranglers? Jolly Ranchers
- What did Santa call his reindeer that couldn't fly? Dinner.
- What do you call Santa's most impolite reindeer? Rudeolph
- Which of Santa's reindeer has the worst manners? Rudolf of course
- How does Santa request a reindeer sleigh ride? Uber Pull
- What did Santa Claus say to Mrs. Claus. When she though it snowed.
-No it is reindeer. - Santa ran over my grandma with his reindeer. Worst hitman ever, she's still alive.
- Why does Santa Claus use reindeers for his sleigh? Because sledge dogs can't fly.
- How does Santa make new baby reindeer? In vitro, in Prancer, in Dancer, in v**....
Charming Humor Santa Reindeer Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about santa reindeer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean santa christmas jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make santa reindeer pranks.
What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement?
I don't know.
A reindeer.
What about the cement?
I just threw that in to make it hard.
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question.
One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize.
"To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer."
The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question.
"Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!"
The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'"
"You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Santa's bad day
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were gone, heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of r**.... When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had finished the cider and the liquor.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the liquor bottle, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa stomped to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?
Santa Claus has 10 reindeers according to the song.
>You know **Dasher** and **Dancer** and **Prancer** and **v**...**,
**Comet** and **Cupid** and **Donner** and **Blitzen**,
but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?
**Rudolph** the Red-Nosed Reindeer, had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.
**Olof** the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Christmas Angel
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of r**.... When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful Christmas tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Have you ever heard the story of how the angel got on top of the Christmas tree?
Once upon a time, three days before Christmas many years ago, Santa was sitting in his office. He was under a horrible amount of stress; the elves had just announced that they were forming a labour union, half the reindeer had hoof and mouth disease, and Mrs. Claus hadn't touched his candy cane in months. There he was, fuming with rage, when in walks The Angel, cheerful and bubbly as ever, and asks with a big smile,
"where should I put the Christmas tree, Santa?"
How did the angel get on top of the christmas tree?
So one year, Santa was having a bad time of it. The reindeer were threatening a strike, the elves had to recall 30% of their toys due to manufacturing defects, all in all, just a frustrating time.
So Santa stood up and made a very LOUD announcement.
"I am going to my study. I'm taking my boots off, having a cup of hot cider, and am going to read a good book. I want. to. finish. my. book."
About 5 minutes later, he hears a knock on the the door to his study. In a fury, he slams down his book, stomps over to the door, flings it open, and says "And just what do YOU want?"
An angel is standing there with a pine tree. "Where would you like me to put the christmas tree?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Santa and his reindeer c**... and land in the mountains, they are starting to starve and decide they have to resort to cannibalism.
Who do they eat first?
Answer: Donner!
Santa is stressed...
Many years ago on Christmas Eve, Santa Claus is preparing for his big day tomorrow but nothing is goin well. Half the reindeer are sick, the elves are behind on their work and Mrs Claus' mother-in-law just arrived for the week.
But then an angel appeared at Santa's door with a Christmas tree just for him.
Santa answered the door to find the angel in front of him. Smiling the angel said to Santa
"I found this tree to brighten up your Christmas, now where would you like me to put it?"
And that is how to tradition of the angel at the top of the tree started.
Santas reindeer get lost on a flight one night and don't return to the pole. After being missing for weeks, they are found, the only survivor being Donner. When asked how he survived, he replied:
"They don't call me Donner for nothin'"
What do you call Rudolph before he joined the rest of Santa's reindeer?
Rebel without a Claus
Santa was hit by an Airbus 747 while flying over Barcelona last night, and none of the flight crew survived
The doctors have confirmed that the reindeer in Spain were hit mainly by the plane.
- Credit to Colin Monchrie from "Whose Line Is It Anyway"
"Wow, Santa! Have you lost some weight? And have you been working out? I can sure tell...Because you look great for your age!"
Rudolph The Brown Nose Reindeer
Some worry that Santa Claus is negatively impacting the environment with all the coal he gives out
Don't worry too much though, those reindeer get plenty of miles per gallop
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did angry Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she heard he was going to the s**... club?
I hope you don't make it reindeer
Why did Santa bring 22 reindeers to WalMart with him?
Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks and just in case it cost more he brought some extra doe.
Kid: Santa, what's the story of your reindeer names?
Santa: Why I name them after memories, like Prancer frolicking through the snow!
Kid: What about Donner?
*A dark countenance settles on Santa's face*
Santa: The year was 1847, snowfall had trapped us in the Sierra Nevada...