Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Santa? Well here is a complete list of the top santa jokes:
The next year I decided to make him pay for it and poisoned his cookies. Somehow, the bastard found out and killed my dad
👍🏼There's a parking meter on the roof.
👍🏼Santa & Banta both lost their wives and were searching for them when they bumped into each other "Where are you hurrying to?" asked Banta
"I lost my wife!"
"Really? Even mine. How did yours look like?"
"hmm... She was tall, slim, had huge tits, sexy soft and sweet ass, she was wearing a mini skirt at last, What about you?"
"Forget mine lets search for yours!" replied Banta.
A woman walks into a tattoo parlor, asking the man in charge to put a picture of a turkey saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" on one thigh and a picture of Santa saying "Merry Christmas!" on the other. The man looked confused by her odd request, so he asked her why. She calmly looked at him and replied without even a stutter. "My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving."
👍🏼Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
👍🏼"Did Santa get you that?"
"Yes," replies the little girl.
Then the cop says "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and he fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
Because he only comes once a year.
👍🏼Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
👍🏼He sold his soul to Santa.
👍🏼China, to stock up on the presents for the rest of them.
👍🏼Little girl sits on Santa's lap.
Santa: What would you like for Christmas?
Little Girl: I want a Barbie and a G.I.Joe.
Santa: Little girl don't you know Barbie comes with Ken?
Little Girl: No Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken, she cums with G.I.Joe.
I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says, "Help, need ride!"
👍🏼Because he only comes once a year, and when he does it's down the chimney.
👍🏼I'm driving from Santa Fe to Albuquerque when I see an American Indian lying on the road with his ear to the ground. Curious, I pull over, walk up to him and ask, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" He says, "Silver 1991 Chevy station wagon, one man, one woman, two children". I say, "Wow, you can tell all that just by listening to the road?" He says, "Heck no, they just ran me over".
👍🏼Diabetes
👍🏼I have carefully deduced that Santa is my secret Valentine every year.
👍🏼They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.
👍🏼I woke up in a box.
👍🏼WRAP MUSIC!
👍🏼Santa must be taking his naughty list a tad seriously this year.
👍🏼I dont believe in those stories anymore, thank GOD
👍🏼Santa stops after three ho's.
👍🏼A little girl sits on Santa's lap. In a jolly manner, Santa asks "What would you like for Christmas?"
The girl replies without hesitation:"I would like a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."
Santa sits for a moment, thinking about the request. Caught off guard, he says "But little girl, Barbie comes with Ken."
The girl looks at Santa and with incredible confidence, states: "No Santa, Barbie only fakes it with Ken."
He sold his soul to Santa.
👍🏼Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down a chimney.
👍🏼Santa stops at three Ho's.
👍🏼'Cause He knows where all the naughty girls live
👍🏼You wipe it off and apologize.
👍🏼Santa goes down the chimney.
👍🏼When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come.
Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
"Anyone wanna buy any presents?"
👍🏼Santa stops at three ho's.
👍🏼Santa Claus has 10 reindeers according to the song.
>You know **Dasher** and **Dancer** and **Prancer** and **Vixen**,
**Comet** and **Cupid** and **Donner** and **Blitzen**,
but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?
**Rudolph** the Red-Nosed Reindeer, had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.
**Olof** the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names
They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks.
👍🏼Because Santa only comes once a year and that's down a chimney.
👍🏼Santa stops at three hoes.
(sorry if repost)
Mrs. Claus wasn't too happy.
👍🏼Because he only comes once a year and it is always down the chimney.
👍🏼A Mall Santa is asking kids what they want for Christmas.
A little girl says, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."
Santa replies, "Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?"
"No silly. Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She's only faking it with Ken."
He only comes once a year, and its own the chimney.
Santa only cums once a year.
👍🏼He's gonna find out what's knotty or gneiss.
👍🏼...Because he knows where all the bad girls live!
👍🏼one comes when children dream & the other dreams of children coming*.
👍🏼Santa goes down the chimney.
👍🏼Because he only comes once a year.
👍🏼Because he comes down the chimney.
👍🏼Santa stops at 3 Ho's
(sorry if it's a re-post)
Whats the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew?
Santa Claus goes down the chimney
You've red some of the best santa jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about santa. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty santa gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !
How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these santa jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.
Can I save Santa jokes? You can do this from the Joko Jokes iPhone app. It is available for free download from the Apple App Store. Thumbs up your favorite jokes so we can rank them by how many likes every joke has. Every thumb matters for Joko Jokes' rankings.
How to share a Santa joke? You are free to share every Santa joke found on JokoJokes.com, share it on Facebook, Twitter or by email and have fun with friends and family.