sank Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious sank stories

What are the best Sank puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Sank? Well here is a complete list of Sank to have fun with:

I held the door open for an old Japanese man, and he said "Sank you!"

Being able to understand his heavy accent, I replied "You're welcome."
He laughs and says "No, you misunderstand, I am taunting you about Pearl Harbor."

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A pirate talks with his captain...

'Captain, how did you get your peg leg?'

'Yarrr... Me ship sank. I was rescued, but not before a great white took me leg.'

'What about your hook hand?'

'Me ship was boarded. I repelled the bastards, but not before I lost me hand.'

'And what about your eye patch?'

'Yarrr... a bird shit in me eye.'

'I don't understand.... How did that cause you to lose an eye???'

'It was me first day with the hook!'

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2 cats are racing across the English Channel,

an English cat named "123" and a French cat named "Un deux trois." Which cat won the race?

A: The English cat. Un deux trois cat sank.

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Un Deux Trois

A French cat called Un Deux Trois attempted to swim the English Channel last weekend but sadly didn't make it and drowned. It was all over the news the next day; "Un Duex Trois Cat Sank"

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So there's an English cat and a French cat

So there are 2 cats, an English cat and a French cat, in a contest to swim the English Channel. The English cat is called the one two three cat, and the French cat is called the un deux trois cat. who won? The English cat. The un deux trois cat sank.

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An elderly Japanese man...

An elderly Japanese man was walking behind me as I was entering a store. Since he was older and walked with a cane, I held the door for him. As he walked pasted he said, "Sank you" with his accent. So I punched him in the face and said, "How dare you bring up Pearl Harbor like that!"

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I drop kicked a Japanese woman today

After holding the door open for her, she said to me "Sank you"

How dare she bring up Pearl Harbor like that after my nice gesture!

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The English Cat and the French Cat

There were two cats. One was British and one was French. The name of the British cat was One-two-three and the name of the French cat was Un-deux-trois. They decided to have a race to see which cat could be the first to swim across the English Channel.

Obviously, the cat named One-two-three won. Why? Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.

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Just held the door for an Asian guy and he said "Sank you" so I punched him in the face.

I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that.

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The Titanic and mayonnaise

What a lot of people don't know about the Titanic was that it was carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise to Mexico. In fact, the Mexican people were overjoyed to be receiving this fine delicacy.

Sadly, as we all know, the Titanic tragically sank, sending its many tons of mayonnaise to the bottom of the ocean. The Mexican people were saddened by this event, and dedicated an annual event to the remembrance of the mayonnaise

We call it Cinco de Mayo

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There are two cats: one-two-three and un-deux-trios. Which cat successfully crossed the river?

One-two-three crossed the river because Un-deux-trois cat sank.

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What is the difference between California and the RMS Titanic?

The Titanic was able to keep the lights on as it sank.

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The King of Slaveria fancied himself quite the Casanova

He was renowned throughout the lands for his voracious sexual appetite, and never travelled anywhere without at least a half a dozen concubines in his royal entourage. It so happened that on a voyage to survey his lands across the sea that his royal ship ran into a hurricane and sank. All were lost save the King and his Royal Jester who managed to make it to a small desert island. Well, it wasn't long before the King was at his wit's end.....

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So this bloke pulled a vital organ out of my chest ...

and chucked it into a pond. My heart sank.organ out of my chest and chucked it into a pond.

My heart sank.

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The Audacity

Just opened the door for an Asian guy. He said "sank you" ...so I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that.

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Two twins, Tom and Harry.

There were two twins, Tom and Harry. Tom was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that Harry's wife died the same day Tom's boat sank.

A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Tom and mistaking him for Harry said I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must be feeling terrible.
Tom, thinking she was talking about his boat said Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools all tried to get in her at once and she split right up the middle

The old woman fainted hearing all this.

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I drop kicked a Japanese lady today

after I held the door open for her, she said to me "sank you".

How dare she bring up Pearl Harbor after my nice gesture.

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Ashamed

Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again--being so ashamed of what they were doing.

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Pete and Jenny were long time patients at the mental institution...

...and they had formed a relationship.
They were walking past the pond, Pete fell in and sank, Jenny, with no thought for her own safety, dived to the bottom of the pool and rescued him, she also gave him the kiss of life.
A few days later Jenny was summomed before the board of the hospital and was told that seeing how she had the sense to dive in to rescue Pete she could not be classed as insane, she was going home the day after.
When the nurse was helping her pack, she gave Jenny the bad news..........After you had rescued Pete, he was foubd in the hospital ward, dead, hanging from a beam !
Jenny replied, "yes, I hung him up to dry,can I go home now ?

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Jim and Mary.

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

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There are 3 cats from 3 countries are in a swim competition...

The first one is named "yi er San"
The second one is named "uno dos tres"
The final one is named "un deux trois"
The first cat came in first place
The second cat came in third place
The third cat was no where to be found because "un deux trois quatre cinq" ( quatre cinq is pronounced cat sank if you don't speak French)

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Two twins, one boat.

Joe and John were identical twins.

Joe owned an old, dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day, he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who promptly sank it. Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening.

Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly that day. When Joe got back on shore, he went to town to pick up a few things at the grocery. A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said: "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."

"Hell no!" Joe replied. "Fact is, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old, dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front, too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and she smelled bad, but they wanted her anyway. Those idiots tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle."
The old woman fainted.

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the titanic sank because it was filled over capacity by time travelers trying to figure out why it sank.

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Mental Hospital

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable.
The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient. Your action displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

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I once dated a professional diver...

The relationship went swimmingly, until it ran out of air and sank :)

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Two cats are swimming across a river, who made it across?

one's name is "one two three" and the others name is "un deux trois". who made it across? one two three, because un deux trois cat sank.

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Did you hear about the Kool-Aid Man?

He said, Hey, everybody! I AM JESUS CHRIST! and then jumped into a pool believing he could walk on water.

He sank right down to the bottom.
He was totally diluted.

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CONCLUSION

You've read some of the best sank jokes of all time. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise kids not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty sank gags to your kids. These jokes are updated with new ones in December 2019.

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laughs? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter. Some of these sank jokes are funny and some are hilarious.

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