The Best 63 Sank Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Sank jokes. There are some sank survivors jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sank buoy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Sank Jokes and Puns
I held the door open for an old Japanese man, and he said "Sank you!"
Being able to understand his heavy accent, I replied "You're welcome."
He laughs and says "No, you misunderstand, I am taunting you about Pearl Harbor."
Mental Hospital
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable.
The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient. Your action displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
2 cats are racing across the English Channel,
an English cat named "123" and a French cat named "Un deux trois." Which cat won the race?
A: The English cat. Un deux trois cat sank.
Un Deux Trois
A French cat called Un Deux Trois attempted to swim the English Channel last weekend but sadly didn't make it and drowned. It was all over the news the next day; "Un Duex Trois Cat Sank"
An elderly Japanese man...
An elderly Japanese man was walking behind me as I was entering a store. Since he was older and walked with a cane, I held the door for him. As he walked pasted he said, "Sank you" with his accent. So I punched him in the face and said, "How dare you bring up Pearl Harbor like that!"
The English Cat and the French Cat
There were two cats. One was British and one was French. The name of the British cat was One-two-three and the name of the French cat was Un-deux-trois. They decided to have a race to see which cat could be the first to swim across the English Channel.
Obviously, the cat named One-two-three won. Why? Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
I drop kicked a Japanese woman today
After holding the door open for her, she said to me "Sank you"
How dare she bring up Pearl Harbor like that after my nice gesture!
Two wires at sea
Two wires were on an ocean cruise when the ship sprung a leak and sank. The solid core wire managed to climb into a lifeboat and head to safety.
The other was stranded.
Cat Race
So, England and France have a friendly contest to see which country is superior. They do this by having a cat race, in which the French cat, 'Un Duex Trois, and English cat 'One Two Three' will race across the channel.
The race starts and One Two Three cat speeds across the water, easily winning.
Unfortunately, Un Deux Trois cat sank.
Titanic sank 103 years ago...
...making it the only thing your mom didn't go down on! Hi-YO!
Two cats are swimming across a river
One is called "One Two Three" the other is called "Un Deux Trois." Which cat survives?
"One Two Three"
because un deux trois cat sank
Disclaimer; not original, just saw it online and thought you'd all appreciate
You can explore sank ashore reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sank unsinkable dad jokes. There are also sank puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Two cats cross a river... first cats name is un deux trois. The second cats name is one two three. Which cat made it across?
The second cat because un deux trois cat sank.
I just held the door open for an Asian guy. He said, "Sank you," so I punched him in the face.
I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that.
TIL that during WWII 3 U.S. submarines sank due to friendly fire.
Whoops, wrong sub.
So there are two Cats...
The first cats name is one-two-three and the second cats name is un-deux-trois, both cats try to cross the river, which cat got across first?
The one-two-three cat, because the un-deux-trois cat sank
So I'm holding the door for this Japanese guy...
He looks over to me and says "Sank you!" Can't believe he just brought up Pearl Harbor like that.
A man and his wife built a boat...
They called it the *Alfred1*, after a friend of theirs. However, it was poorly constructed and sank immediately.
They continued to try to build seaworthy vessels, but the same thing happened over and over. With the *Brian2*, the *Chris3*, and the *Daniel4*.
"We're really not very good at this," the man said in disgust. "How do boats even work?"
"I don't know, but we'll figure it out," replied his wife. "We need an *ELI5*."
'One two three' cat and 'Un deux trois' cat decided to have a boat race. Who won?
'One two three' cat, because 'Un deux trois' cat sank.
Canadian and a American watching a movie
Canadian: Lets watch a movie.
American: Have you seen Titanic?
Canadian: What's that about?
American: Yes, it was. A big one that sank.
I held a door for an elderly Japanese man.
He said "Sank you."
Why did he have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that?
Today I saw a Japanese man rushing to the elevator
The door was closing, so I held it open for him.
He replied with, "Sank you".
Why did he have to mention Pearl Harbor like that?
TIL in 1937 the Germans sank their own U-boat instead of the American USS Anders.
"Sorry, wrong sub"
How big was the iceberg that sank the Titanic?
Cap size
French cat joke
Two cat's are trying to cross a river, ones name is Onetwothree and the others name is Undeuxtrois.
Why was Onetwothree the only survivor?
Because Undeuxtrois cat sank.
I looked up the results of a french rowing race
Turns out my favorite boat got sank.
British & French cats swim across the channel
A British cat called "one two three" swims across the English Channel. At the same time, a French cat called "un deux trois", swims from the opposite direction. Which cat makes it? "one two three" because un deux trois Cat Sank.
My grandfather was the kind of man who was proud of the fact that his back door was always open.
We think that's why his submarine sank.
I held a door open for an Asian guy
and he said "sank you" so i punched him in the face. Serves him right for bringing up Pearl Harbor like that.
PS: Happy 4th of July
Three cats are crossing a river.
One of them is called "One Two Three"
The second is called " Un deux trois"
The third is called "Ein zwei"
What is the order of them crossing?
So One Two Three gets to the other side first because the Un Deux Trois cat sank.
But the Ein Zwei cat is still drei because it has a vier of the water.
Not my own joke, just added the extra cat.
I was holding a door open for this asian guy and he said "sank you".
I punched him square in the jaw, how dare he bring up pearl harbour like that.
TIL the Titanic was scheduled to have an evacuation drill the same day it sank but was canceled by the captain.
Now let that sink in.
When I was a boy...
"I was walking along a street and happened to spy a cart full of watermelons. I was fond of watermelon, so I sneaked quietly on the cart and snitched one. I then ran into a nearby alley and sank my teeth into the melon.
No sooner had I done so, however, than a strange feeling came over me. Without a moment's hesitation, I made my decision. I walked back to the cart, replaced the melon -
And took a ripe one."
-Mark Twain
I was holding the door open for a Japanese guy...
The Japanese guy was like "Sank you."
I punched him dead in the jaw. Smh bringing up Pearl Harbor like that.
As the Titanic sank, the musicians remained on deck and continued to play music as the ship went down.
The captain had said "aBandOn Ship", so they really had no choice.
Two cats have a swimming race aross the English Channel
One cat is English, the other cat is French.
The English cat is called "One two three", the French cat is called "Un deux trois".
Which cat wins?
The English cat, because the Un deux trois cat sank.
Desperate for money, I robbed a bank today. My heart sank when I heard a voice boom, "This is the police! We have all the exits surrounded, so come out with your hands up!"
I escaped through the entrance...
An American and a Canadian decide to watch a movie
American: Hey, want to watch Titanic?
Canadian: What's that about?
American: Yeah, one that sank.
Credit to u/ for the joke
My grandfather would always go on about the old days and how they could leave their backdoor open
which is probably why his submarine sank.
A cargo ship sank in the ocean. The cargo, Idaho potatoes and rubber penises, floated in the vicinity.
The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. Seeing the cargo strewn about on the water, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship.
"I already know what kind of ship to look for," the diver told the chopper pilot.
"How could you possibly know what kind of ship it was?" replied the pilot.
"It was a dictatorship."
What did the titanic say before it sank?
I am going to nominate all of my passengers for the ALS Icebucket Challenge.
I held the door open for an old Japanese man today
As he walked into the store he said "Sank You". I was shocked that after all these years he still brings up Pearl Harbor…
My grandfather knew before the titanic sank that it was going to happen.
He kept yelling and telling peope over and over but no one listened. They then threw him out of the theater, he's not allowed back.
Two Eskimos were sitting in their kayak and started getting cold.
So they decided to build a fire. Of course shortly after the kakak sank.
The moral of the story is you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
BREAKING NEWS!
Two tanker ships collided and sank in the southern Pacific Ocean yesterday. One was filled with red paint and the other, smaller tanker, was filled with blue paint. All crew members survived but now are marooned on an uninhabited island.
An English cat named One Two Three and a French cat named Un Deux Trois raced each other across a lake. Who won?
One Two Three, because Un Deux Trois cat sank.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
My mom told me that Jesus died when his Royal Caribbean ship sank, but my priest said he actually died on the cross.
So...was that cruise a fiction?
I had 3 French cats. The three are named un, and deux who could swim,
but, my trois cat sank.
2 cats are at the English Channel.
An English cat and the French Cat decide they want to cross the channel. The English cat psyches himself up, says One... Two... Three jumps in the water and swims across.
The French cat decides to imitate the English cat. Un... Deux... Trois... Cat sank.
I held the door for a Japanese man the other day...
And he said, sank you.
So I punched him right in the face.
I can't believe he'd bring up Pearl Harbor like that.
Happy Pearl Harbor Day!
The true reason that the Titanic sank...
The combined weight of all the time travelers that suddenly appeared onboard.
A mushroom forager sank to new lows for his hunt.
He stole a car for transportation and trespassed on private property to hunt on. Nevertheless his hunt was unsuccessful. He had no morels.
A luxury boat sank and a passenger was holding on to a floating piano...
All of a sudden, someone floats by sitting atop a floating cello and asks: May I accompany you?
I went on a cruise once, and we were hit by a gigantic wave, and the boat sank.
I woke up on a sugar sand beach, with gigantic cotton candy clouds filling the sky, and the sea glistened under the setting sun like a pool of honey, next to me was a volleyball that looked like a marshmallow. Towering above me was a gigantic volcano that looked like an upside down ice cream cone.
It was then that my worst fears were realized, that I was trapped on a dessert Island.
Two cats met at a river bank to cross the river. One was named One-Two-Three, the other was named Un-Deux-Trois.
Unfortunately, only One-Two-Three cat made it across. Un-Deux-Trois cat sank.
Two cats are having a swimming race
One is called 'one two three'. The other 'un deux trois'. Which cat won?
'one two three' won because 'un deux trois' cat sank.
What is the difference between CNN and the Titanic?
The Titanic still had all it's anchors when it sank...
What's the difference between CNN and the Titanic?
The Titanic had all of its anchors when it sank
Two cats, one french one english had a race across the channel.
The english cat, known by her owners as 123 won. Because the french cat, known by his owners as an du twa, cat sank.
A boat with a shipment of veggies sank yesterday
Turns out, it had a couple leeks ;)
My heart sank when i received a text from my gf " I can't take this anymore,let's break up "
You can imagine the tears of joy I had when i received a follow up message
"Sorry ,wrong number"
Mayonnaise
In 1912, the Titanic sank and everyone still talks about it to this day.
But only weeks after the incident, another ship fell victim to the harsh ocean. This was a large cargo ship that contains various products that were supposed to be delivered to Mexico, among them were sugar, coffee beans, but the bulk of the shipment comprised of mayonnaise. You see, Mexicans love mayonnaise. That's why when it happened on a sad day in May 5th, the whole mexican wept for the fallen sailors and the delicious products they were supposed to enjoy.
Since then, the day of mourning came to be: >!Sinko De Mayo!<
A pirate trained his pet whale to come when he whistled
One day, he heard a navy general whistle the same way
Furious, the pirate fired all cannons and blew their ship in half. In victory he yelled
Sank you!
The general yelled back
Your whale comes!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sank battleship jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working sank titanic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.