The Best 60 Sandwiches Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sandwiches jokes. There are some sandwiches ging jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sandwiches croissants puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Sandwiches Jokes and Puns

How Do We Know God is Not a Woman?

Because we're not all sandwiches.

What does the highest paid WNBA player make?


A Ham Sandwich Walks Into A Bar ...

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender yells out, "Hey! We don't serve ham sandwiches here." To which the ham sandwich replies, "That's okay, I just wanted a drink."

As I went to reach for the largest cucumber....

As I went to reach for the largest cucumber in the supermarket a woman also went to grab it.

"Oh yeah, I bet I know why you want the biggest one," I winked.

"You've got me," she giggled, "do you fancy coming back to mine and watching?"

"No thanks," I replied, "I've got better things to do with my time than stand watching a woman make sandwiches."

jokes about sandwiches

Why don't golf courses ever serve sandwiches?

They always turn out to be sub par.

Two men sit down at a restaurant.

A waitress comes to their table and takes their drink order. When she returns a few minutes later with their beverages, she finds them both eating sandwiches out of paper bags. "Hey!" she says, "you can't eat your own food here!" So they trade sandwiches.

A man walks into a bar...

and glances at the menu.

* **Sandwiches, $2**

* **Hand jobs, $5**

He calls over to the waitress, a gorgeous young blonde woman who appeared to be in her mid-twenties.

"Hey, hi there. Are you the one doing the hand jobs?"

She smiles thinly, "Yes sir, I am."

"Well, wash your hands and put on some gloves. I'd like a sandwich."

Sandwiches joke, A man walks into a bar...

Does anyone else love thick sandwiches with three slices of bread and two layers of filling?

We should make a club.

Why do feminist picnics suck?

Because no one ever makes sandwiches.

Whats the problem with feminist picnics ?

None of them make the sandwiches.

I went to a feminist picnic the other day...

It was great, apart from the fact that no one made any sandwiches.

You can explore sandwiches meats reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sandwiches buns dad jokes. There are also sandwiches puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Two lawyers sit down in a restaurant...

Two lawyers sit down in a restaurant and open their briefcases, take out sandwiches, and start eating. A waitress comes up and says, "Excuse me, sirs, you can't eat your own food here." The lawyers shrug and exchange sandwiches.

Why was the feminist picnic cancelled?

because nobody made sandwiches

I think my boss from flint is trying to poison me...

Handing out all these Pb and jelly sandwiches.

Why didn't the feminist picnic work out?

because they all refused to make sandwiches.

You may think i'm odd for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches..

But hey..
That's just Hawaii roll.

Sandwiches joke, You may think i'm odd for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches..

Why doesn't anybody like feminist picnics?

Because they never have any sandwiches.

Why do rednecks love sandwiches?

Because they're inbred too.

Did you hear about the feminist picnic?

Yeah, apparently it got cancelled, no one wanted to make the sandwiches.

How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut ?

Diagon alley

I used to be addicted to frozen sandwiches

But I decided to go cold turkey.

My highschool bully still takes my lunch money...

But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!

I think i just wrote a joke out of my pathetic love life while fixing supper and here it goes. What does a bachelor eat the most?

Balonely sandwiches.

My mother used to always say "give your food a rinse before you eat it."

Lovely woman. Terrible sandwiches.

I saw a man on the street with a sign saying he was hungry.

I told him I had an extra sandwich and he could pick which one he wanted, turkey or roast beef. He looked at both sandwiches for about 30 seconds, them threw up his hands and ran off.

I wondered for a second, then I remembered,

"Beggars can't be choosers"

In a lesbian relationship, which one makes the sandwiches?

Neither. They eat out.

Sandwiches joke, In a lesbian relationship, which one makes the sandwiches?

What's the deal with airline food these days...

nothing but knuckle sandwiches.

To this day, the guy who took my lunch money during school still takes my money.

On the bright side, he makes really good subway sandwiches.

Why did the feminists starve at the picnic?

Because no one wanted to make the sandwiches.

All sandwiches are retarded...

...because they are inbred.

Why do hillbillies like sandwiches?

They're in bread

I downloaded an app that I thought would help me find great sandwiches...

Turns out that's not what Grinder is for. I still got a footlong, though.

I no longer eat club sandwiches

I quit cold turkey.

A sandwich walks into a bar

Bartender says "we don't serve sandwiches."

Sandwich says "that's ok I just wanted a drink"

Why are sandwiches the food of choice in Alabama?

Because they're all in bread

Why don't the French put two eggs on their sandwiches?

Because they think one egg is "un oeuf"

To this day, my bully that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.

On the positive side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

A woman gets a call from kidnappers.

"We have your son," said the kidnapper.

"I don't have a son," says the woman.

"Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crust off his sandwiches?"

"Oh, God you have my husband!"

2 lawyers are in a restaurant eating their sandwiches.

The owner walks in and says, "You can't eat your own food in here!"

The lawyers sigh and swap sandwiches.

I remember 30 years ago with a dollar you went to the supermarket and went out with 2 sandwiches, 1 box of 6 beers and a pack of cigars.

Today, unfortunately, there are cameras everywhere.

I bought a chicken to make sandwiches...

Turns out it doesn't, it just make a lot of noise and poops on the floor.

Julius Caesar and Marcus Brutus are at the airport

Brutus: Which is our boarding gate Caesar?
Caesar: A-2 Brutus

Brutus: And what time is the flight Caesar?
Caesar: 8:02 Brutus

Brutus: By the way, I have sandwiches. Do you want one Caesar?
Caesar: Ate two Brutus

Brutus: This is an unusual paper size for a ticket. What size is it Caesar?
Caesar: A2 Brutus

Brutus (Thinking to himself): This man is really getting on my nerves. One of these days I'm going to have to kill him

Everyone knows Alan Turing who cracked Enigma codes.

But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time.

Everybody knows Alan Turing who cracked the enigma codes

But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks

Two lawyers sit in a restaurant.

They're eating homemade sandwiches.
The server comes along and stops them: "Excuse me, but it is not allowed to bring your own food here"

The lawyers share a glance, sigh and trade the sandwiches.

Analogies are like ham sandwiches.

I am currently making one.

What do you call a Subway manager who spends too much time helping make sandwiches up front and not enough time back in the office attending to business matters?

Counter productive.

a caring mother makes her son loafs of bread shaped like batman, to make his sandwiches fun every time. guess what happens when it's in the oven?

the dark knight rises.

Two lawyers walk into a restaurant.

They put their briefcases on the floor and order two coffees. They get their coffee and pull out lunches from their briefcases.

"Sorry," the waitress says, "You can`t eat your own food here."

The lawyers look at one another, shrug their shoulders and swap sandwiches.


Dracula is walking down the street one fine evening when a speeding lorry carrying mini sausage rolls, sandwiches, a variety of salads, dressed salmon, quiches and cold meats loses control, overturns and spills all that food. All this wreckage hits Dracula and with his dying breath he curses buffet the vampire slayer

The kid that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.

On the other hand, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

why do people from Alabama love sandwiches?

they like things that are inbread

What does Anakin Skywalker never order at a restaurant?


Bought chicken to make sandwiches.

It doesn't. Just shits on the floor.

Two lawyers enter a restaurant.

They both pull up suitcases onto the table they're on, and take out a sandwich each from their suitcases. Seeing this, a waiter comes up to them and tells them they cannot eat their own food in the restaurant. With an irritated tsk and a shake of the head, the two lawyers exchange their sandwiches, much to the despair of the unfortunate waiter.

My Daughters Dad Joke this morning

Ran through a drive up this morning before school.

As we are pulling away from the window, she looks in the bag.

Dad you should see this! It's beautiful, the hashbrowns are stacked side by side, the sandwiches are perfectly wrapped, and the napkins are placed so they won't get oily...I am not sure who did this, but they should be awarded the Nobel Grease Prize.

She looked at me with a sly smile and I told her...I saw what you did there. We both laughed.

A great dad joke from a 10 yr old.

I'm having trouble writing a good joke about golf and sandwiches...

Everything I come up with is sub-par.

My doctor told me not to make sandwiches myself any more ...

... so I hired a sub contractor.

Two attorneys went into a diner

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.

The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"

The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged sandwiches.

I don't eat club sandwiches

I quit cold Turkey

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sandwiches bread jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sandwiches making a sandwich piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes