Following is our collection of Sanders jokes which are very funny. There are some sanders webb jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sanders allen puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'
'Mrs. Sanders, please.'
'Speaking.'
'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'
'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.'
'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.
'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'
'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'
'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'
He's changing it to Ernie Anders.
Socialist Media.
I'll call it "Weekend at Bernie's"
Because they feel the Bern!
Bernie Sanders.
He will now go by: Ernie Anders.
...she asked what army Colonel Sanders was in.
He responded, "So you want to see America be destroyed?"
I said, "No, I want to watch it Bern."
Feel the Johnson.
The difference was a Quarter of 1%.
You can explore sanders moore reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sanders sander dad jokes. There are also sanders puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I thought he didn't care about the 1%
and they're discussing why each thinks they'll win.
"I have the support of women and minorities" says Clinton. "I have the support of intellectuals" says Sanders "I have the support of the average american tired of politics as usual" says Trump.
Cruz just smiles..."I have the support of the people in charge of programming the electronic voting machines"
Progressive.
...he gave Hillary Clinton half the votes in Iowa.
He's taking the delegates he's earned and giving them to somebody who is struggling to earn their own.
This should help him in South Carolina as he officially now understands the struggle of being black in America.
Burny sanders
And an elaborate homage to Weekend at Bernie's was undertaken to cover up that fact, he'd still have less strings than Hillary Clinton.
When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders, do I punch the ballot with my sickle or my hammer?
Don't worry they'll tell you
The bartender looks over and says "Mr. Sanders! Drinks on me. I really hope you win. Imagine another Clinton in the White House? It would be a circus!"
Bernie replies "Bill didn't run a circus, he ran affaire!"
They all hate the 1% though
...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.
The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."
There were a lot of people, but I wouldn't say it was super pac'd.
Because he hates capitalism.
He kept trying to peel the ferns.
From his devastating win in Michigan?
Mom & Dad
COLONEL SANDERS
he should just call them "job fairs."
Bernie Sanders just gave it to someone that needs it more than you.
If he wants to invigorate his base shouldn't he be wearing a trilby?
Because only the top 1% can stay above water.
Just remove the top 1% please.
It is not the guy I have problem with but the fan club freaks me out.
Remove only the top 1% please.
A fat stripper actually gets to the polls.
He misheard. He thought the campaign slogan was *Feel the Intern*.
...because he took Kansas by storm.
That way he'll surely get the black vote.
Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!
Now wants to be called Ernie Anders
...that would be unpresidented.
They all "Feel The Burn!"
Bernie Sanders.
If they say "yes" you know they are too young.
Bernie Sanders
His new name is Ernie Anders
I was talking about Bernie Madoff not Bernie Sanders you a**holes
Donate 27 $ and we can still win the Presidency !!!
"Who's a Trump fan?"
Not wanting to look stupid for not knowing what that meant, they all raised their hands except for Johnny.
"And why aren't you a Trump fan?" she asked, used to Johnny always trying to be different.
"Because I'm a Sanders fan" he replied.
"And why are you a Sanders fan?"
"Because mommy and daddy are"
"And if mommy and daddy were idiots, what would that make you?" she asked
"A Trump fan"
Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.
Bernie Sanders
and he responded "there are still some states left for me." Those states are Denial, Anger, Grief, Bargaining and Acceptance.
Chickens tend to avoid anything with the last name "Sanders".
The question asked was 'what do you think of morals in politics'?
The Sanders supporter says: politics? What is politics?
The Clinton supporter says: morals? What is morals?
The Trump supporter says: think? What is think?
...but it was sold out.
Pieces of fruit actually get picked for something.
He's just a Jewish guy sacrificing himself to save millions from their own sin and ignorance while being insulted the entire time. Clearly no basis for a religion.
"Feel the Johnson"
He quit running.
When was the last time Barack Obama, Paul Ryan, Jon Stewart, Glenn Beck, Bernie Sanders, George Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Mitt Romney, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton all agreed on anything?
Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders were having dinner when Hillary said to Bernie "Let me get you a knife"
Bernie said "I'll just use this one you put in my back"
He puts the "jew" back in rejuvenation!
But here's how Bernie Sanders can still win!
A sick Bern.
It was like peeking into an alternate dimension where both parties had hindsight
Kernel Sanders.
Put Jane Sanders in charge of it.
Universal Healthcare
Drag queens know how to put on makeup.
Because they both... did murder most foul.
no matter how bad it was she would tell everyone it was great.
Bernie Sanders
He says to his lover, My erection was rigged!
You become Bernie Sanders.
Well, I'm glad that the first step didn't raise any questions.
Err sorry, typo. That should be:
Bernie Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic Presidential candidates.
Ah, I see you are a man of poultry as well.
who's buying?
The toilet paper gets restocked after it sells out lel.
There can on be one Colonel Sanders
Colonel Sanders wanted to show him a secret...
America.
We never stood a chance but we just wanted to get our ideas out there.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sanders williams jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working sanders johnson piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.