Samurai Jokes

Discover the funniest samurai jokes, featuring the legendary Japanese warrior and his enemies. Laugh at jokes about Samurai Jack's duel with a ninja, and more! Enjoy a laugh while learning more about Japanese culture.

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Best Short Samurai Jokes

These are our top samurai puns. Have fun with a good samurai joke in English with simple samurai humour.

  1. I asked a couple of my gay friends what does LBGTQ mean? I couldn't get a straight answer…
    Bonus joke:
    How does a non-binary samurai kill people?
    (They slash them)
  2. I just read a long article about Japanese sword fighters. If you want, I can samurais it for you.
  3. I wonder if the Drunken Samurais of old could handle their drinks well.. I hope so, for their Sake
  4. (real news) In Virginia, a man stole a samurai sword from a store by hiding it in his pants. He later denied having the sword, telling police he *was* just glad to see them.
  5. I just finished a book on the military nobility of pre-industrial Japan Would you like me to samurais it for you?
  6. Why did the samurai lose the duel at high noon? Because he brought a sword to a sho-gun fight.
  7. A ninja is getting ready to fight a samurai The ninjas friend asks him "do you really think you can kill him without a sword?"
  8. I realized placing a long umbrella on my back does not make me like a ninja samurai... But more like a Teletubbies.
  9. Why is Forrest Gump as a young boy without his leg braces like a Samurai without a master? Because everywhere he went, he was Ronin!
    I'll see myself out...
  10. It's Amusingly hypocritical for my wife to get upset at me buying a $89 samurai sword When she has no problem spending $150 on groceries.
Samurai joke, It's Amusingly hypocritical for my wife to get upset at me buying a $89 samurai sword

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these samurai jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of samurai puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Samurai One Liners

Which samurai dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with samurai?

  1. How do non-binary samurai kill people? They/them.
  2. A samurai's wife asks him to go down on her He responded it's Bushydo
  3. How does a non-binary Samurai kill someone? They/Them.
  4. How does a non binary samurai kill people? They slash them
  5. It's tough trying to explain Japanese history But I can Samurais it.
  6. How does a non binary Samurai finish their enemy ? They slash Them
  7. How do non-binary samurai defeat their opponents? They slash them
  8. Why did the bride's best friend become a Samurai... because she was made of honour.
  9. What did the neckbeard name his samurai sword? M'Bladey
  10. How does a non-binary samurai kill their openent They/Them
  11. What do you call a dying samurai? Necronin
  12. How you make samurai run away? You sho gun
  13. What does a samurai do when he fails a math class? He commits sudoku.
  14. What do you call a shorter samurai? A summarai...
  15. How do Japanese people ask for rice? Samurais?

Samurai Sword Jokes

Here is a list of funny samurai sword jokes and even better samurai sword puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you get when a samurai crosses swords with a Roman dictator? A Caesar salad.
    Happy belated Ides of March, everybody!
  • Samurai wielding sword: now we fight to the death **Me, nervously clicking pen:** t-they better be right about this
Samurai joke, Samurai wielding sword: now we fight to the death

Giggle-Inducing Samurai Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about samurai to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make samurai prank.

A cut above the rest

Once upon a time a powerful emperor of the rising sun advertised for a new chief samurai. Three men applied, A Japanese samurai, A Chinese swordsman And a Jewish samurai. The three met with the emperor to see who would get the job. "Japanese Samurai Show me your skill", the Japanese samurai stepped forward and released a fly from a box and the Japanese samurai cut the fly in two. "very impressive" said the emperor. "Chinese Swordsman Show me your stuff", the Chinese man stepped forth and released a fly from its box and with two swings of his swords cut the fly neatly into Quarters. "A marvelous feat" the Chinese swordsman was pleased. "How are you going to top that Jewish samurai?" The Jewish Samurai stepped forth and released his fly from a box, and with a mighty blow swepped his sword through the air and the fly continued to fly about. "what kind of skill is that? the fly isn't dead" the emperor laughed. "dead is easy" the Jewish samurai replied "Circumcision... now that takes skill".

A Knight, a Samurai, and a Viking are lost in a desert.

They see someone in the distance, and as they draw closer, they realise it's a buck n**... woman in a crusader's helmet with a samurai sword on her back.
The knight exclaims, "Look at her helm. Surely she is of my people! "
The samurai says "Nay! See the sword. She is obviously from Japan!"
The Viking shakes his head and says " No! She is in truth a Viking! Behold the beard of Thor!"

Why are Samurai so easy to kill?

There are only c**... in the armor

What do you call a samurai who lives at the top of a mountain?


The Japanese question the names they come up with.

Guy1: "Why are Samurai without masters called Ronin any way?"
Guys2: "Because, without a Master to guide them and put them in place, they're all Ronin around."

I saw a samurai doing Seppuku today.

Let's be honest the joke is already dead

Having lost his blade, is an honorable Samurai able to defeat an army of foes?


Samurai joke, Having lost his blade, is an honorable Samurai able to defeat an army of foes?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these samurai jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.